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The Twat Files

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The Twat Files

By: Dawn French
Narrated by: Dawn French
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.
Mistakes, Mayhem, and Massive Twattery - Welcome to The Twat Files
When I was younger I wanted to be an interesting, sophisticated, semi-heroic, multi-layered person. But being an actual twat is much more the real me.

In The Twat Files I will tell you about all the times I've been a total and utter twat. The moments where I've misunderstood stuff and messed up. In my life these have been key because mistakes tell us about ourselves and others. They are hilarious and expose our flaws. They are gloriously human.

My hope is that these stories remind you of just what a massive twat you also are . . .

‘Charming and funny. A good reminder that nobody's perfect – and why would you want to be anyway?’ Independent

‘Great fun and highly-entertaining’ The Times
'Dawn French is a wonderful writer' Daily Mail
‘Entertaining, endearing, tantalising. Fans of the national treasure will devour them’ Daily Mirror
‘Hilarious and highly relatable. The perfect gift for anyone who loves a good laugh’ Woman's Own
'This woman is a national treasure' Mail on Sunday
Hilarious. The laughs and life lessons are ten-a-penny’ Stylish


© Dawn French 2023 (P) Penguin Audio 2023

Entertainment & Celebrities Personal Development Personal Success Women's Voices Celebrity Funny Witty Feel-Good Thought-Provoking

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Critic reviews

Hilarious. The laughs and life lessons are ten-a-penny
It's charming and funny, a good reminder that nobody's perfect – and why would you want to be anyway?
Entertaining, endearing, tantalising. Fans of the national treasure will devour them
Hilarious and highly relatable. The perfect gift for anyone who loves a good laugh
Warm and sprinkled with celebrity stardust. Urges us to embrace our most embarrassing moments, instead of agonising over our humiliation.
These warts-and-all stories are as funny as you’d expect, as warm and supportive as you’d hope, and liberally sprinkled with celebrity stardust.
Praise for Dawn French (-)
Dawn French is a national treasure. Loyal, self-deprecating and garrulous, her stories make for entertaining reading. This is an original book, and will delight her fans and, indeed anyone with a sense of humour
This woman is a warm hug in human form, spreading joy in abundance. She is dazzling (Lorraine Kelly)
Fantastic, passionate, compassionate, so much wisdom, a lot of humour, very real and credible (Bernadine Evaristo)
All stars
Most relevant
I enjoyed the book a lot. Brilliant stories from Dawn, very honest, open and of course hilarious

Utterly Enjoyable

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I love everything Dawn French writes and this is no exception. I wish she was my friend… love her.

Love her

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Amazingly my thoughts and twatiness !! are much the same thank you for an amazing I can’t thank you enough and just so you know I would love it if you could be my best friend !!!!! Just like you have tried several times with your hero’s 😎🥸🤓👍🥰

Bravo

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Superb just as expected! Love Dawn in everything she undertakes tbf! I love the word Twat, it gives you a great feeling of satisfaction every time you say or hear it! Hopefully a second instalment is on its way!

Brilliant!

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Loved this,, Dawn French at her hilarious and brutally honest best! absolutely brilliant - a must read!

Brilliant!!

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