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The Cats Have Notes

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The Cats Have Notes

By: Bill Schmalfeldt
Narrated by: Daniel Neumann
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What if, one ordinary morning, humanity discovered that animals could suddenly understand us… and talk back?

In The Cats Have Notes, Sam Peterson and his wife Sally wake to a world forever changed when their three household cats begin carrying on perfectly understandable conversations. Morgana, the self-important Maine Coon mix; Melisandre, the sardonic black cat with a Goth streak; and Grizabella, the sharp-tongued young tabby, suddenly have opinions about everything—from food and litter boxes to television, politics, personal privacy, and the baffling habits of humans.

At first, the phenomenon seems amusing. Then the rest of the animal kingdom joins in.

As cable news scrambles to cover the greatest event in human history, society struggles to adapt to a reality where pets, livestock, wildlife, and even zoo animals now have voices—and plenty to say. Some animals seek understanding. Others seek better treatment. A few seem perfectly content to insult the humans around them.

Blending satire, humor, warmth, and absurdity, The Cats Have Notes explores the complicated relationships between people and the animals they thought they understood. Through hilarious conversations, awkward revelations, and moments of surprising tenderness, the novel asks a simple question:

If animals could finally speak their minds… would we really want to hear it?

Perfect for pet lovers, fans of intelligent comedy, and listeners who enjoy speculative fiction with heart, The Cats Have Notes is a witty and affectionate look at humanity through the unimpressed eyes of cats.

©2026 Bill Schmalfeldt (P)2026 Bill Schmalfeldt
Absurdist Animals Genre Fiction Literature & Fiction Satire Funny Witty
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