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Summary

Pirate Doug 

What in the Chicken of the Sea was I thinking to agree to this half-arsed Otherworld Defense Agency mission? 

I’m the most absurdly good looking vampire pirate of the High Seas. Being on the run for my life is very important work…and a freaking full-time job. Defending mermaids from some vicious sea hags is going to cut into my pilfering time. 

Unacceptable. 

Even though this is a very bad move on my part, I know I’ll eventually agree - too many bounties on my arse to refuse, and the thought of a certain mermaid makes my roger quite jolly. 

However, Tallulah, the leader of the Mystical Isle Pod of Mermaids, isn’t going to be happy to see me…at all. The horrible, sexy, breathtaking woman has been starring in my dreams for too many years to count. Sadly, just when my mind wanders to the really good nookie part, the dream ends with her lopping my Johnson off. 

I just hope to Hell and back that the sea hags have some outstanding booty to steal. If I’m going to have to regrow my tallywhacker, the treasure had better damned well be worth it. 

Tallulah 

Running a tourist trap for humans in the Bermuda Triangle had sounded like a fine plan - until it wasn’t. With the sea hags gunning for our island and ruining our questionably successful business, I did what any desperate mermaid would do. I called for backup. 

Of course, getting help from the Otherworld Defense Agency is risky as they don’t usually deal with ocean creatures. Whatever. Desperate times call for crappy measures. Chances are they’ll send freaking pirates. I hate pirates....

Well, I hate one pirate in particular. 

Hopefully, it won’t be the one seafaring jackhole I despise more than any other. Pirate Doug would be an idiot to show his face here after what he’d done. Not only did the dumbass abscond with our treasure, the son-of-a-bitch took my heart with him as well. 

I’ll tear his sorry ass to shreds if he so much as steps even one hairy toe on my island.

©2018 Robyn Peterman (P)2018 Audible, Inc.

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Profile Image for BCherry27
  • BCherry27
  • 20-09-18

Sweet and absolutely hilarious! Worth 50 stars!

Holy smokes I loved this book! It was so damn funny! The way the characters described each other and the names they called each other, and the Sea Hags’ actual names...I just couldn’t stop laughing. Seriously one of the funniest audiobooks I’ve ever listened to!
If you ever need to smile and giggle, you have to get this audiobook! It was masterful! Shane East just slays it as Pirate Doug! (He’s now one of my all-time favorite fictional characters!). And Amanda Ronconi was fantastic!! The narrators made the audiobook ten times better than just reading the book itself!! They were perfect!! I listened to it twice in a row and just kept laughing! Read it! Listen to it! Enjoy it! You won’t be sorry! I know I’ll listen to it again and again!

3 people found this helpful

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  • Sheila Green. Murfreesboro tn
  • 11-09-18

comedy

this is probably one of the worst story romance I've ever read I didn't realize I was getting a comedy. The hero is an idiot and that's never a good thing. this story is absolutely one of the worst I've read in a long time. If I'd known I was getting a comedy maybe it would have been better to read. If you're in the mood for an idiot and I do mean an idiot and a comedy that's not that funny then you may like this book. I'll be asking for my money back. one of the worst books I've ever read the performance was great that's the only Grace saving part of this book. I love this author and I've loved her other books but this one I don't know what she was thinking

6 people found this helpful

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  • Cyn
  • 22-06-20

Funtastic

Moving on to number two. Won't You? You never know what's in store! Double Dare!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Trish R.
  • 19-11-19

God-awful story..


Stupid, stupid, stupid! How in God’s name could this novella ever have gotten so many 5-star reviews? I’m sure it was supposed to be funny but all I did was shake my head through the whole thing. How could one story have so many stupid people in it, especially the hero.

There was sex in this, and the F-bomb was used 33 times.

As to the narration: Shane East and Amanda Ronconi did alright but even they couldn’t help this crap.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Christine
  • 04-09-18

So funny

I absolutely loved this book! If you are looking for a LOL book,this is it!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Heather C
  • 31-08-18

Mermaids and Vampire Pirate

This new sreries from Ms. Peterman is just as sassy as her others. Quick listen and don’t go listening to if you are offended by language, foul jokes and hookers, not real hookers just a not so smart pirate.
Shane and Amanda do an amazing job bringing her work to life and brings life to the short.
Would love for the story to have been longer but as the series continues I hope the next is a bit more story to it.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Jennifer Marie
  • 14-09-21

Can't get enough!

This is my go to book for me when I need a pick me up after an emotion read/listen. It is full of comedy and I can’t help but laugh the whole time I listen to it. The narration from Shane and Amanda is just perfect. Shane’s parrot voice gets me every time. This one is the repeat stack for me.

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  • twocats
  • 30-06-21

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb

A real disappointment. Got it for the narrators, who were great. The story? Blah. Unless you think learning 25 new phrases to describe a penis as a valuable use of your time.

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Profile Image for Floriane M
  • Floriane M
  • 22-06-20

♥️ SHORT BUT SWEET AND FUNNY ♥️

This is a novella about mermaids, pirates, sea hags, and other mythology heroes and anti-heroes. This is my first Robyn Peterman's book. I do not think the author intended it to be a "heavy" read but as an entertaining one. If I am right, she definitely hit her goal! It was highly entertaining, very funny, and a welcomed respite from serious events surrounding us presently.
I haven't laughed so hard reading a fictional book since I can't remember when, especially the scene where Pirate Doug was trying to woe Tallulah.

As for the narration, ♥️ Shane East ♥️ did a perfectly wonderful performance in this book. His voice as the parrot was absolutely superb! Amanda Ronconi read her parts well, although I had to lower the volume when she speaks because her voice is kind of grating to my ears. I'm sure others love her narration, but this is how I honestly hear her.

Highly recommended! 5 Stars!

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 17-06-20

Rib-spliting Hilarious...and So Wrong🤪🤣

Snarky, smart alecky...wow!! Stand up comedic pagan sea humored story!! I don't think I've ever heard so many wacky names in so short a story before!