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Not the Perfect Victim

My Fight for Survival, Truth and Justice

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Not the Perfect Victim

By: Nikita Hand
Narrated by: Lauren Larkin
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Summary
 Shortlisted for the An Post Irish Book Awards 2026

'A reclamation of voice, credibility and narrative power - and an immense act of courage' Irish Times

'Nikita Hand's powerful telling of her trauma ... the narrative is gripping' Irish Independent

'Compelling, searingly raw and gripping ... incredible, courageous' RTÉ Guide

'A tale of survival, defiance and the hard-won rebuilding of a life' Irish Country Magazine

December, 2018. The aftermath of a night of revelry. The promise of a party. And a journey into darkness that would change the course of Nikita Hand's life - as she endured a brutal assault where she believed she would die.

Here, Nikita tells her unforgettable story. From the bleak days that followed, reeling in shock and fear, to the long hours as she gave her Garda statement, trusting the truth would be enough. Then months holding her breath, only to discover there would be no prosecution.

When she took the decision that would define her future, Nikita Hand stepped into the glare of a civil case against one of the world's most powerful athletes, Conor McGregor. Through panic attacks, sleepless nights and a terrifying home invasion, she kept going. On into the courtroom, where she faced her perpetrator at arm's length - and spent four gruelling days in the witness box. The judgment would make headlines. The backlash would nearly break her.

Not the Perfect Victim is the unforgettable story of a woman reclaiming her power - a first-hand account of survival, defiance and the hard-won rebuilding of a life no one could take from her.©2026 Nikita Hand (P)2026 Hachette Books Ireland True Crime Women Exciting Heartfelt Inspiring Thought-Provoking
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Critic reviews

A reclamation of voice, credibility and narrative power - and an immense act of courage
Nikita Hand's powerful telling of her trauma ... truly commendable ... the narrative is gripping throughout
Compelling, searingly raw and gripping ... incredible, courageous
A first-hand account of a woman reclaiming her power - a tale of survival, defiance and the hard-won rebuilding of a life that no one could take from her
All stars
Most relevant
Nikita you are truly amazing, thank you for standing up for all girls💓, Ireland is proud of you 👏

Outstanding ✨

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Such a genuine , honest and raw book. I couldn’t stop listening. What a brave woman.

Raw and harrowing

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Nikita
I found myself saying "good girl" on so mamy occasions i lost count. Well done. You have carved out a path for others, but you fought and you won!
The man in the arena quote..thats you...well done.. brilliant and strong ..just brilliant and strong...
Helena

Completed in 1 day

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What an incredibly brave woman. A very honest, and, frankly heartbreaking account of her rape and her fight for justice. The fact that she's still standing is a testament to her strenght.

Couldn't put it down.

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I really admired Nikita Hands’ bravery in speaking out and sharing her story. It takes so much courage to talk openly about difficult and deeply personal experiences. I found it heartbreaking to read about what she had to go through, and I wouldn’t wish those experiences on anyone.

This book gives an honest insight into her journey, and I have a lot of respect for her for finding the strength to tell her story. I would definitely recommend giving this book a read.

🩷

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