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How to Stop People-Pleasing

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How to Stop People-Pleasing

By: The Great Courses, Wind Goodfriend
Narrated by: Wind Goodfriend
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About this listen

Do you find yourself regularly sacrificing your own wants and needs to make others happy? Do people take advantage of your desire to be helpful? Are you becoming exhausted or resentful from meeting the demands—real or assumed—of others? In other words, are you a perpetual people pleaser?

We all want to be liked and appreciated by the people around us, but some of us may let this desire dictate our choices and behaviors in a way that can become unhealthy. In How to Stop People-Pleasing, psychology professor Dr. Wind Goodfriend examines what drives many of us to sacrifice our well-being to please others and offers guidance on how you can set healthy boundaries and start prioritizing yourself. In five illuminating lectures, Dr. Goodfriend will help you understand where the approval-seeking impulse comes from, why some of us are so susceptible to it, the steps you can take to develop your confidence and sense of self, and ways you can enforce your newfound freedom from the expectations of others.

As Dr. Goodfriend teaches you how to tackle the three components that fuel people-pleasing—mindset, habits, and feelings—you will see how, despite your best efforts to be what everyone needs you to be, you ultimately can’t control what other people think of you. With the tools and perspectives provided in this course, you can break the damaging cycle of self-sacrifice and resentment and make the changes to become a better, healthier version of yourself.

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Communication & Social Skills Mental Health Personal Development Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
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I found this book helpful though the ‘vocal fry’ of the author was a little annoying.

The author was knowledgeable and the exercises helpful.

Helpful

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Do you find yourself regularly sacrificing your own wants and needs to make others happy? Do people take advantage of your desire to be helpful? Are you becoming exhausted or resentful from meeting the demands—real or assumed—of others? In other words, are you a perpetual people pleaser?
I found this a very easy to follow and very practical guide. I was surprised how much I do this without realising it and Goodfreind, great name, illustrated that a surprising amount of people do it as well. She goes through the social experiments and the science behind this type of behaviour but importantly offers techniques how to "politely say no." I have been carefully using her advice and slowly I am putting up boundaries. It is important for everyone, however she does not advocate a selfish action, just healthy limits of your time and empathy. I do recommend this audio.

LIFE CHANGING ADVICE.

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