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How to Leave Your Psychopath

The Essential Handbook for Escaping Toxic Relationships

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How to Leave Your Psychopath

By: Maddy Anholt
Narrated by: Maddy Anholt
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About this listen

Funny, judgement-free and full of brilliant first-hand advice, this empowering guide will help anyone ditch their controlling partner to find freedom and happiness.

'Will help so many learn to recognize what an abusive relationship is' – Mel B, Patron of Women's Aid


Are you forever finding yourself in the stranglehold of controlling companions? Well, fear not, because once you’ve finished reading this book, you’ll be able to wave ta-ta to unhappy and unhealthy relationships for good. Consider me the Psycho Sprucer, Bad Boy Buster, the Hot Mess Assessor – ready to leave your love life sparkling.

How to Leave Your Psychopath is a candid account of the complex, subtle nature of coercive control and abusive relationships from comedian Maddy Anholt, who – until her eyes were opened – had spent her entire dating life trapped in them.

Relatable and accessible, the book covers all the common techniques these toxic twerps use to exert control, including gaslighting, breadcrumbing and negging. This book is the ultimate handbook to help you see and respond to red flags, recognize controlling traits, and learn to give any prospective date a score on Maddy's unique 'Psychometer', from super-empath to psychopath.

Vitally, by interweaving psychological insight and autobiographical anecdotes, Maddy shows you the road to self-discovery, leading you on the path to safer dating and a healthier, more joyful life.

'I read it all in one sitting, it is brilliant! This book is so relatable and Maddy's funny and engaging approach starts serious conversations' – Teresa Parker, Women's Aid

Abuse Divorce & Separation Domestic Partner Abuse Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Relationships Love, Dating & Attraction Parenting & Families Personal Development Relationships Funny Mental Health Health

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Critic reviews

As someone who has experienced coercive control myself, I know that speaking out is brave but so important. Maddy talks about this very serious issue in an extremely human often even funny way which I think is brilliant because it helps remove the fear and shame, and will help so many learn to recognise what an abusive relationship is. (Melanie Brown ('Mel B'), Patron of Women's Aid)
Maddy Anholt has written the ultimate guide to identifying the psychopath in your life. Combining scientific analysis with throat-tightening memoir, read this and extradite yourself from the power players. Taut, terrifying, terrific. (Nichi Hodgson, author of The Curious History of Dating)
How To Leave Your Psychopath is like sitting in a room with your girlfriends comparing relatable, crushing stories about cruel exes whilst cheerleading each other on to leave, heal, and live again. (Chimene Suleyman, writer and editor of The Good Immigrant USA)
I read it all in one sitting, it is brilliant! This book is so relatable, really well written and Maddy's funny and engaging approach starts serious conversations about what a healthy relationship is. (Teresa Parker, Women's Aid)
This book is visceral, candid, and insightful, Maddy Anholt is an exceptional writer, who has crafted a book on relationships that is not only very funny but also extremely heartfelt. (Giles Paley-Phillips, author of One Hundred and Fifty-Two Days and Blank: Why It's Fine to Falter and Fail, and How to Pick Yourself Up Again)
A humorous take on a serious subject: the insidious and dangerous effect of the controlling men who destroy the physical and mental well being of the women they seek to diminish. (Cherie Blair QC, Patron of Refuge)
All stars
Most relevant
While this book is written from the female perspective on dating a male psychopath/narcissist, the insights offered in the book for a male dating a female psychopath/narcissist resonate just as strong. Enjoyable listen - a serious topic but there author's frank and self effacing style made it more like a story and very engaging. It definitely helped crystallise my thinking on what to do in my own situation and how to move on.

Really helpful

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I wish I’d listened to this book sooner. You made me realise that I’m not bonkers and everything I’ve been through has been real! You’ve given me the confidence in myself for that final push to block! Now on my way to freedom … thank you!!

Incredibly relatable

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A book I wish had been around when I was a younger woman. A perfect combination of support and education with entertainment and comedy. informative, bingeworthy, and supportive. I listened and finished in a day. An important tool to help and educate anybody in an abusive situation. Rest in Peace Maddy and I hope your work from this lives on to make the world a better. safer and more positive place.

A relatable, non judgemental listen that educates

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I'm a guy, I got this book for a reason, and while some of the information is useful, it's definitely focused on the issues facing so many women caught up in this mess.

The way a female psycho behaves is different to the way a male psycho behaves -- the manipulative use of vulnerability and the way it appeals to our sense of duty has not been considered here, and it's important that it is considered.

Sadly this book is 80% problem and only 20% solution, but it does contain some hope, and as such I still recommend it.

Finally, with regards to mental health, the correct term is dissociation, not disassociation.

Sort of OK, but very female focused.

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Thank you Maddy! As a guy currently going through a break up with a controlling girlfriend this has given me a good insight as to what has been happening and why.

Even now I still have the urge to want to go ‘fix’ things but know in my gut that I will be back to square one and the lies and manipulation will still continue.

It’s also given me an insight to my own behaviours and my own controls due to the lies and manipulation. Well worth listening to.

Very helpful - Thank you!

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