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Egg and Soldiers

A Childhood Memoir (with postcards from the present) by Damien Trench

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Egg and Soldiers

By: Miles Jupp
Narrated by: Miles Jupp
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£5.99/mo after 3 months. Offer ends on 5 July 2026 at 11:59 BST. Cancel monthly.

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'A gloriously enjoyable read from start to finish' - Daily Express

'Here's a book to savour' - Mail on Sunday

Miles Jupp (News Quiz presenter, star of Rev, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue and The Thick Of It) delves into the mind of his comedy creation Damien Trench - urbane food writer and protagonist of BBC Radio 4's acclaimed sitcom In and Out of the Kitchen.

'Are you Damien Trench?' said the lady operating the stall.
'I might be,' I said to the lady.
'You are though, aren't you?' she asked.
'Well...yes,' I agreed. And that was that.
She seized me by both hands, pulled me towards her, and launched into a passionate monologue that covered a selection of dessert recipes that I had once offered up in print, her difficult relationship with soft cheeses and her husband's irritable skin. So intense was her manner that it was extremely difficult to tell if she was scolding or praising me. All I knew was that she was staring so intently at me that I became worried that parts of me would dry up and just drop off like smoked chipotles. Also, her eyes were so extremely wide open that I began to worry that it might be dangerous to let so much light into your head. As soon as she stopped speaking, I thanked her for being willing to share, broke free from her grasp, panic-bought three punnets of raspberries on the way out and then sprinted back to the Uno as fast as fast can be.

'Whether you're already a fan of Jupp's bumbling bon viveur, or are stumbling across him for the first time, here's a book to savour.' Mail on Sunday ©2017 Miles Jupp Entertainment & Celebrities Performing Arts Memoir Celebrity Funny Witty Heartfelt Feel-Good Comedy
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Critic reviews

[Damien Trench] is a glorious comic creation . . . Jupp has transferred him from radio and TV on to the page in a highly effective manner. A gloriously enjoyable read from start to finish.
Whether you're already a fan of Jupp's bumbling bon viveur, or are stumbling across him for the first time, here's a book to savour.
All stars
Most relevant
If like me you loved in and out of the kitchen then you will love this. I binge listened in just 2 days. If you have not listened to in and out of the kitchen I do think it's needed first. There is no massive storyline it's just Damien plodding along telling the listener random tales and going off at many tangents indeed. Hope there is a second one

Just brilliant like catching up with an old friend

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I truly adored listening to this book. It took me a short while to get used to not hearing all the characters from 'In and out of the kitchen' but as soon as I did, I was fully immersed in Damian's life as told by Damian himself. Wonderful book and I hope there is a sequel.

NB: Miles Jupp, if you read this review, I beg you to release series 4 of In and out of the Kitchen on Audible......Please......

Loved it

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This is wonderfully funny and an absolute joy from start to finish. Can’t recommend enough. (Prior knowledge of the character from the series In and Out of the Kitchen is necessary for context I’d say.)

Pure Joy

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Solid and gently witty with Miles giving his trademark Damien performance. Not as good as In and Out of the Kitchen though, as you quickly realise that Damien needs the rest of the ensemble to bounce off (and also to dilute his pomposity). That said, I enjoyed it a lot and it makes a perfect accompaniment to cooking the Sunday lunch 😀

Good but not great

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If you enjoyed In and Out of the Kitchen as much as I did then this is very much for you. I both laughed out loud and was deeply touched in parts, Miles Jupp has created some thing great in Damien Trench and I hope for much more from both of them.

Quite simply brilliant, five stars

Very very good.

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