Been Nowhere, Done Nothing cover art

Been Nowhere, Done Nothing

Preview

Get 30 days of Standard free

£5.99/mo after trial. Cancel monthly.
Try for £0.00
More purchase options

Been Nowhere, Done Nothing

By: Paul Glazebrook
Narrated by: Paul Glazebrook
Try for £0.00

£5.99 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for £3.99

Buy Now for £3.99

BEEN NOWHERE, DONE NOTHING The brutally honest, laugh-out-loud, and unexpectedly moving true story of life as a British infantry soldier.

Paul "Glazey" Glazebrook didn't set out to write a war memoir. He set out to tell the truth — about growing up on a council estate, about army selection, about the mates who became brothers, and about the chaos, humour, and horror of operational tours from South Armagh to Iraq.

What he wrote instead became one of the most talked-about military memoirs in years — a book civilians read in one sitting and veterans pass between each other like a regimental in-joke.

There's no glorification here. No deep political reflection. Just the real, raw, occasionally filthy truth of what it's actually like to serve — told with the kind of dark, self-deprecating humour that gets soldiers through anything.

Rated 4.9 stars on Amazon and 4.8 stars on Audible, where Paul narrates the audiobook himself.

Whether you served or you've never worn a uniform in your life — this is the British Army as you've never heard it before.

©2025 Paul Glazebrook (P)2025 Paul Glazebrook
Espionage Military Military & War True Crime Funny Witty Inspiring Thought-Provoking
adbl_web_anon_alc_button_suppression_t1

Critic reviews

‘A brutally honest and hilarious account of soldiering from a Rifleman’s perspective’ —Andy McNab CBE, DCM, MM

All stars
Most relevant
I have never served in the armed forces so love to hear the stories of those that have. This book kept me enthralled from beginning to end. Well worth a listen.

Gripping

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Brilliant book! Funny, emotional and a great story of a regular soldier that served in the field army

Funny and charismatic!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Although this audiobook is about a soldier and his time on active duty. The author has masterfully crafted an audiobook which will you have you rolling about the place laughing your head off, even in the most dire situations the author found himself in.

One of the best audiobooks out there.

Outstanding

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

For me, narrated slightly too fast. But this made it all the more honest since it reflected the speed of the authors thinking and actions.
Great Listen. Listened along with my son on a two day car journey.

The candid honesty

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

All I will say is top bloke for a Green Jacket!
Well done mate, now get the spoons out the sink! K***y must of taught you everything you know! Out!!!

The reflection of my early years in the RE.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

See more reviews