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The Punishment Trap

The Punishment Trap

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How do you discipline your kids? If your honest answer is "I have no idea," you're in good company — that's Pastor Dave's answer too. But the Bible has more to say about discipline than "how to make it stop."

In Week 3 of Parenting Is Hard, Dave tackles the hardest part of parenting: the children. Starting from what discipline actually is — training toward maturity, not just punishment — he unpacks the "punishment trap" (mistaking stopping behavior for changing behavior), why yelling "Knock it off!" works just often enough to keep us doing it, and the four-step cycle Paul gives Timothy that maps almost perfectly onto research on effective parenting: teach, rebuke, correct, train. Along the way: the Iron Man and the hammer, a chocolate lesson on losing your temper, three things Dave wishes he'd known before ever handing out a consequence, and an honest answer to the question everyone was waiting for — what about spanking?

Good discipline requires self-discipline. It's hard. But you can do hard things, parents.

Parenting is hard, and unfortunately, none of us gets it right all the time. But God has given us wisdom for the journey. Parenting Is Hard is for parents, grandparents, future parents, and anyone helping shape the next generation as we learn to build strong relationships, lead with purpose, and point the children in our lives toward their Heavenly Father.

Message 3 in the series "Parenting Is Hard" Pastor Dave Holmes | Centerville Grace Church | Sept. 27, 2026

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