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The Twat Files

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The Twat Files

By: Dawn French
Narrated by: Dawn French
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.
Mistakes, Mayhem, and Massive Twattery - Welcome to The Twat Files
When I was younger I wanted to be an interesting, sophisticated, semi-heroic, multi-layered person. But being an actual twat is much more the real me.

In The Twat Files I will tell you about all the times I've been a total and utter twat. The moments where I've misunderstood stuff and messed up. In my life these have been key because mistakes tell us about ourselves and others. They are hilarious and expose our flaws. They are gloriously human.

My hope is that these stories remind you of just what a massive twat you also are . . .

‘Charming and funny. A good reminder that nobody's perfect – and why would you want to be anyway?’ Independent

‘Great fun and highly-entertaining’ The Times
'Dawn French is a wonderful writer' Daily Mail
‘Entertaining, endearing, tantalising. Fans of the national treasure will devour them’ Daily Mirror
‘Hilarious and highly relatable. The perfect gift for anyone who loves a good laugh’ Woman's Own
'This woman is a national treasure' Mail on Sunday
Hilarious. The laughs and life lessons are ten-a-penny’ Stylish


© Dawn French 2023 (P) Penguin Audio 2023

Entertainment & Celebrities Personal Development Personal Success Women's Voices Celebrity Funny Witty Feel-Good Thought-Provoking

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Critic reviews

Hilarious. The laughs and life lessons are ten-a-penny
It's charming and funny, a good reminder that nobody's perfect – and why would you want to be anyway?
Entertaining, endearing, tantalising. Fans of the national treasure will devour them
Hilarious and highly relatable. The perfect gift for anyone who loves a good laugh
Warm and sprinkled with celebrity stardust. Urges us to embrace our most embarrassing moments, instead of agonising over our humiliation.
These warts-and-all stories are as funny as you’d expect, as warm and supportive as you’d hope, and liberally sprinkled with celebrity stardust.
Praise for Dawn French (-)
Dawn French is a national treasure. Loyal, self-deprecating and garrulous, her stories make for entertaining reading. This is an original book, and will delight her fans and, indeed anyone with a sense of humour
This woman is a warm hug in human form, spreading joy in abundance. She is dazzling (Lorraine Kelly)
Fantastic, passionate, compassionate, so much wisdom, a lot of humour, very real and credible (Bernadine Evaristo)
All stars
Most relevant
I could listen to this wonderful woman all day forever. love dawn so much. her stories are so funny and the way she tells them makes it all the more funny. thank you dawn and I hope there's another book. we need to know how you got out of your dressing room. xx

Absolutely love it

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I’ve loved French and Saunders for as long as I can remember. They have always made me laugh and Dawns book is no exception to that. I made the mistake of listening mostly at my desk in work. I laughed aloud many times. I’m not sorry. Well done Dawn on this book. It’s bloody brilliant just like you

Absolutely brilliant

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I totally loved this book. I’m so glad I got it in audible form.

I am a fellow twat and this book has made me reflect on my ridiculous amount of twat-waffle moments.

I laughed so much during this book. It’s so good because we’ve all done it.

So well written and narrated .

Not laughed at a book quite so much in a long time.

Thank you xx

Bloody great

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Dawn has such a wonderful way of telling truly embarrassing tales in such a self deprecating way in order that I was both cringing and giggling at the same time! Excellent uplifting book!

Simply Brilliant!

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Have thoroughly enjoyed this book by the hilarious Dawn French! Highly recommended if you are not easily offended!!

Brilliant!

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