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And If I Die Before I Wake

A Memoir

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And If I Die Before I Wake

By: George M. Johnson
Narrated by: George M. Johnson
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They may be the author of the #1 most banned book in America, but George M. Johnson isn't finished telling their story yet. Written with unflinching emotion and unapologetic boldness, And If I Die Before I Wake is nothing short of a testimony—one the world desperately needs to hear.

This program is read by the author.

"[George M.] Johnson's easygoing pace and conversational language lend themselves to a deeper understanding of the queer experience, especially regarding gender identity, toxic masculinity, and marginalization." —Kirkus Reviews on All Boys Aren't Blue

"Both teens and adults will enjoy listening to [George M.] Johnson's masterful performance in this vivid production..." —Kirkus Reviews on Flamboyants


George M. Johnson is no stranger to death. In this debut adult memoir, readers are invited to witness untrodden ground as George navigates an HIV diagnosis, alcoholism, tremendous loss, and nationwide book bans over the span of 15 years. Through the highs and lows of life in the spotlight, they have clung to family and community like never before—finding their most authentic self along the way.

Drawing inspiration from Toni Morrison, Jesmyn Ward, and Ta-Nehisi Coates, And If I Die Before I Wake explores grief, trauma, sexuality, and the Black family through the lens of transformation, healing, and hope. Poetic, grounded, and bursting with signature humor, this is New York Times-bestselling author George M. Johnson more bold, more brave, and more daring than ever—ready to share a new part of their journey with the world.

A Macmillan Audio production from Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)

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Critic reviews

"A vital and courageous crossover." —School Library Journal
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