Actually, I'm a Murderer cover art

Actually, I'm a Murderer

 Preview

Get 30 days of Premium Plus free

£8.99/month after 30-day free trial. Cancel monthly.
Try for £0.00
More purchase options
Buy Now for £12.99

Buy Now for £12.99

About this listen

 'Sinister and hilarious. Great fun' SUN

'[A] smart, funny and deftly executed page turner' GUARDIAN

'Extraordinarily fun and oh-so-gripping' i PAPER

'Dark, witty . . . had me racing for the end' JANICE HALLETT

'Funny, and so very, very clever . . . the most fun I've had reading a book in a long time ' M. W. CRAVEN

'Wonderful' IAN MOORE

______________

A hilarious and whip-smart crime novel by the multimillion-copy bestselling author of the Horrible Histories. The perfect mystery for fans of Anthony Horowitz, Richard Osman and Janice Hallett.

Four strangers on a train. An unlikely introduction:

'Actually, I'm a murderer.'

It is 1973 and the lives of four people are thrown into turmoil when sharing a carriage with an unremarkable little man with glasses, on the night train back to Newcastle.

By the end of the following day, one of them will be dead, one will turn blackmailer and another forced to commit a crime. And all of them will be under the astute observation of Aline, the local police officer with her own agenda to fulfil.

When the body count begins to rise, the question is: just how many murderers are out there... and who will be the next victim?
______________

'Laugh-out-loud funny' WOMAN & HOME

'A delightful joyride of a book' SIMON BRETT

'A fun page-turner . . . a gripping book and perfect for Knives Out fans' PRESS ASSOCIATION

'Gripping, original and hard to put down' KATE ELLIS

'Witty, wonderfully paced and great fun' MATURE TIMES

'Highly original and deeply engaging' FRANCES BRODY©2025 Terry Deary (P)2025 Little, Brown Book Group Limited Amateur Sleuths Crime Crime Fiction Dark Humour Literature & Fiction Mystery Funny Witty Fiction Murder
All stars
Most relevant
Although I usually prefer a solo (very talented) vocal artist, the premise of this story did appear to be my taste, so I gave it a go. It was an engaging an 'easy listen' storyline and writing style, and the vocal performances were pretty good. I enjoyed it and will definitely have a look at other books written by the author for adults (although his Horrible Histories are very good).

Entertaining and well paced.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I found it difficult to tell the difference between some of the voices. Maybe I missed something, I found this mildly entertaining, but that was it. It also wasn’t funny.

Didn’t love it

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Safe, middle of the road. Not awful but not great. A bit like a “my first murder mystery” book. The humour was unfunny, it was just ok

The Michael Buble of Murder Mysteries

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Great characters. Original idea. Twists and turns to a satisfying end. Will look for more by this author.

Refreshingly different

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I really enjoyed the premise of the story, the fact that it wasn’t the usual run-of-the-mill murder story. Having the narrators worked really well, and all three were good. A great story which I would definitely recommend.

Brilliant. A really unusual murder mystery

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
See more reviews