A Well-Trained Wife cover art

A Well-Trained Wife

My Escape from Christian Patriarchy

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A Well-Trained Wife

By: Tia Levings
Narrated by: Tia Levings
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About this listen

This gripping audiobook is a strong choice alongside books about high-demand religion, overcoming odds, and finding inner strength in impossible situations."—Booklist (Starred Review)

This program is read by the author.

“Today it hit me when he hit me, blood shaking in my brain. Maybe there wasn’t a savior coming. Maybe it was up to me to save me.”

Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles—a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.”

Tia knew that to their neighbors her family was strange, but she also couldn't risk exposing their secret lifestyle to police, doctors, teachers, or anyone outside of their church. Christians were called in scripture to be “in the world, not of it.” So, she hid in plain sight as years of abuse and pain followed. When Tia realized she was the only one who could protect her children from becoming the next generation of patriarchal men and submissive women, she began to resist and question how they lived. But in the patriarchy, a woman with opinions is in danger, and eventually, Tia faced an urgent and extreme choice: stay and face dire consequences, or flee with her children.

Told in a beautiful, honest, and sometimes harrowing voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.

A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.

©2024 Tia Levings (P)2024 Macmillan Audio
Editors Select Religious Studies Women Marriage Heartfelt Scary Inspiring

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Editorial Review

As personal as it gets
I devoured this deeply intimate, harrowing memoir over the course of three days, resenting any interruption that forced me to hit pause. With unfiltered detail and raw emotion, Tia Levings tells her story of growing up in a fundamentalist religion, how her upbringing ushered her into a high-control, patriarchal marriage, and her journey toward reclaiming her identity and voice. Throughout, Levings writes of her passion for art and writing (an inclination that women in her position must stifle) and how finding an outlet in the earliest days of parenting blogging and online forums both scratched that itch and broadened her world. That nurturing of her talent shows in the strength of her voice, both in her written words and in her wholehearted performance. It is not only gripping, but deeply introspective and observant – a daring call-to-action.— Sam D., Audible Editor

Critic reviews

“In this brave memoir on domestic violence within Christian patriarchy, Tia Levings vulnerably shares her story of survival. With devastating detail, she reveals the many shades of abuse that happen within the world of evangelicalism, a world that was supposed to protect her. The many women who have walked this path from oppression to freedom will find solidarity in these pages.”—Cait West, author of Rift

"I've never given a book a standing ovation until this one. A Well-Trained Wife is a prayer, for all of us. The world is lucky Tia Levings found her freedom and her voice. A reckoning for those who sanction abuse in the name of salvation."—Ashleigh Renard, author of Swing

"With unflinching honesty and relentless self-reflection, Levings’ debut memoir is a portrait in courage."—Julie Bogart, author of The Brave Learner and Raising Critical Thinkers

All stars
Most relevant
This was a hard book to listen to. That husband was so awful that it was difficult to imagine someone like him exists, except that they do! The manner in which Tia was sucked into believing that her role as a well-trained wife was not only acceptable, but Biblically justified was as sinful as it gets. I hope that she and her children get the peace and resolution that they deserve.

I am glad that I listened to the whole book, but gosh, one needs a strong stomach.

Horrifying account from one courageous lady

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Any woman growing up in a conservative or controlling religious environment cannot help to recognize the life of Tia. Eloquently and compelling she describes the teachings that lead to the absolutely horrific experiences she had to endure. I cried and cheered, had to stop listening because my heart was breaking. Had to speak to my fellow-deconstructing friends about this book. And at the end I can only admire the courage and strength this woman has to remain a compassionate and creative force.

Compelling and beautifully written memoir

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Sad to hear the events of this brave lady. It always amazes me how these women are brought up with such heavy patriarchal views, but then have the courage to speak out and get out of the loop of violence that they do not realise is happening to them. Very brave! Thank you for sharing your story Tia!

Gripping story and narration

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I raced through the book in a day and a half horrified at the details but I couldn't stop. This is so timely with the increasing popularity of 'wholesome homesteading and submission' presented online to millions of followers and brand deals behind them.

Gripping, harrowing and so timely

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I loved this book, it was hard and beautiful, powerful and empowering. Thank you Tia for ur courage.

Powerful, inspiring and engaging

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