F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy cover art

F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy

Murder Daddy, Book 1

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F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy

By: Lance Lansdale
Narrated by: Kevin Earlywine
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About this listen

SCOTTY

My boyfriend’s been trying to kill me for weeks. Well, I guess he's my boyfriend. I mean, we've never officially been introduced, but he's always standing in the shadows, watching me. That has to be a good sign, right? The first time I saw him, he was hunched down in my bushes, aiming a rifle at my heart, and he's turned up with a new weapon every night since. As fun as our silly little game of Murder Daddy may be, I’m getting tired of having to steal my stalker-slash-boyfriend’s affection by disarming him and using his weapons against him.

BRODY

I’ve got to get my head in the game. As my agency’s top assassin, I’ve killed my fair share of men. When Senator Levinson placed his son on my hitlist, I figured it would be a one-and-done. I was wrong. Every time our paths cross, he winds up getting the upper hand. The things he makes me do once he’s pried a gun or a knife out of my hand are downright depraved, and for some reason, I can't bring myself to stop it from happening. My wife tells me I need to just suck it up and get the job done. My wife’s boyfriend says I’m sweet on the guy, which is absolutely ridiculous. Even if I wanted to take advantage of our open marriage, I’m not gay. This man—this Freakshow—is completely unhinged, and the worst part is, I think I might be just as crazy as him.

F**ck, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy is a high-heat, over-the-top, absolutely UNHINGED, dual-POV, dark romcom that is equal parts insta-love and insta-lust. While one character is married, their marriage is open, and there's no cheating between them.

©2024 Lance Lansdale (P)2025 Lance Lansdale
Romance Marriage

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Listener received this title free

F××ck, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy, narrated by Kevin Earlywine. This is book 1 in the Murder Daddy series and is a reread.

OK, this book was absolutely nuts but it was captivating. So we have a hired unaliver and a lonely boy. The unaliver cannot do his job and the lonely boy says I love you super fast. He doesn’t even know Brody's name. And I was rooting for them from the beginning because there is something about them that just works.

This is my first time listening to Narrator Kevin Earlywine & he really brought Scotty & Brody to life. In some ways he made the crazy less crazy.

Things I ❤️
🔪 Dual POV
🔧 Epilogue
🔪 Plain Crazy fun
🔧 Found Family

DELULU must read

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Listener received this title free

The first time I read this, I was really confused by how absolutely batshit this was, and how much I enjoyed it. Now I've read a lot more Lance Lansdale, and while this definitely remains at the crazier end of the spectrum, I've accepted that I'm definitely into it. I love all the characters and the general vibe, and I can definitely unhook my brain and go along with it. Give it a try-- you never know, you might like it.

While I would be happy to update my rating to five stars for the book, unfortunately the audio remains 4 stars. I was really looking forward to getting it on audio, but I don't feel this narrator was the best choice. The Daddy voice wasn't great, and it seems Scotty is virtually indistinguishable from Tatum, at least to my ear. Added to which it's all read in a calm, slightly monotone way, which is not really fitting for the tone of the book. For this kind of thing I'd suggest you need a real voice actor rather than a basic narrator, but maybe this will improve over time.


Original review
Wow. This may actually be the weirdest romance I've ever read, and I've read some really strange shit over the years. Honestly, it should have been a car crash, and it kind of was, but the kind you can't possibly look away from. The author is clearly talented, if only because I can't imagine many people could pull this sort of disaster-book off on any level, let alone pull it off with panache and somehow make it enjoyable and weirdly addictive.

I couldn't stop reading this, frequently against my better judgement, and although it made me uncomfortable a few times, I actually really enjoyed it. If I sound surprised about that, it's because I am. I don't read books like this lol. Not that there are any other books even approaching this level of crazy, but yeah, normally I complain about even a little bit of crazy. This one kind of dislocated my brain, but I read it fast, and I want to read the next one.

As well as being funny and crazy and smutty, (and crazy-smutty) this book managed to get me emotional in a few places. I wanted to cry a few times when Scotty felt rejected, he's the sweetest murder-twink and I only want good things for him. Brody was a tad more difficult, especially in the beginning, but we got there in the end. I'm intrigued and terrified by the next book, which looks to be shaping up to be just as toxic as this one, or possibly more so. Either way, this turned out to be strangely addictive, and I have nothing but respect for the author.

great fun

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