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You’re Not the Problem
- The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal
- Narrated by: Helen Villiers, Katie McKenna
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
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Summary
The Instant Sunday Times Bestseller & Top 10 Irish Bestseller
'Helen & Katie's advice will change your life. It did mine.' - Kay Allinson, co-founder of Pinch of Nom
This book will show you what a narcissist looks like and how their emotional abuse impacts the lives and relationships of their families.
Many emotionally abusive behaviours from parent to child have become socially acceptable; because they're so prolific, they're normalised. Furthermore, humans often repeat relational patterns, passing the baton of trauma from generation to generation, until someone decides to change things. You're Not the Problem shows you how to recognise these behaviours and realise the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners, friends and colleagues. Using stories and examples from their clinical experience and extensive research, psychotherapists Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna share:
· What Narcissistic Personality Disorder is
· How to recognise emotional abuse in family relationships
· The immediate and long-term impact
· Practical strategies for healing
· How to avoid repeating these behaviours
With a compassionate, sympathetic approach to looking at your familial patterns, Villiers and McKenna show you how to truly break free from these toxic relationships and reclaim your life.
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What listeners say about You’re Not the Problem
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- Jeanne Yelverton
- 24-05-24
Enlightenment
Could not stop listening, I have recommended to so many friends and family in particular
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- Amazon Customer
- 15-04-24
Next level!
I thought the podcast and patreon were brilliant, but this book takes recovery to a whole new level. So pleased with this purchase! Highly recommended to anyone that suspects they have experienced narcissistic abuse or want to understand and help someone who has gone through it.
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- Anonymous User
- 19-04-24
AFTER NEARLY 60 YEARS
I just can’t thank Helen and Katie enough this book is quite frankly life changing - everything I experienced from both my parents as a child was not normal and impacted me , and continues to impact me daily . It has been a highly emotional @raw read “ but I now completely understand that It wasn’t my fault and I’m beginning to know I am a good, kind empathetic person - thank you to all concerned from the bottom of my heart ❤️
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- Ember
- 11-04-24
The BEST book on the subject I've ever read.
I LOVE this book! I love it so much I've ordered a hard copy too, and I've never done that before. Helen and Katie do such an excellent job of explaining how and why things happen in relationships with narcissistic types of people, particularly parents (my situation), and they include loads of things I've never heard in books before that describe my own experiences (and I've read a lot of books on the subject). "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Dr Lindsay Gibson was my favourite book on the subject until now, but I think "You're not the problem" is even better. Like my title says, this is the best book on the subject I've ever read.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Becca Heath
- 14-04-24
Just wow.
As an avid listener to the podcast, I was beyond excited for the book release. I was a little worried about being disappointed after waiting in such anticipation but I was worrying unnecessarily! So much insight, a depth of revelation I was not expecting and clarity to many whys I had had my while life. Thank you to depths of my soul to both Helen and Katie for such an amazing resource! (I may have just purchased a Paper copy to refer back to!)
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- Emma
- 08-06-24
Incredibly uncomfortable & empowering
Where to begin. I was 50, burnt out (again) and at the end of a first counselling session when my wonderful therapist suggested I research narcissistic parenting. It was a game changer and 18 months later, I’m still learning. I have encountered the authors short videos on social media before I decided to read this.
This book is brilliant and has been an incredibly uncomfortable read (first half most notably). The case studies are so close to my experience that it shakes the ground beneath my feet. Experiences I thought were unique to me are, it seems very common which gives some comfort. There are many examples of things I do that I hadn’t previously considered as linked to childhood coping mechanisms. I’ve alternated between really saddened, blown away and laughing. I’m half way through and looking forward to the later chapters but have seen enough to want to recommend.
I’m going to have to read it again though as is it is narrated quite quickly. On the one hand, the pace is good but I’m aware I’ll have forgotten a lot as I go through.
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- Anne Johnson
- 19-04-24
Finally someone understands
From the very first chapter of this book I have felt like I am not alone in my feelings. I finally feel like someone understands me and now I understand it really wasn’t my fault. What I experienced growing up is not how it’s supposed to be.
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- Aimée Knott (Aimée Walters)
- 17-04-24
The first book to read to heal or to support someone
Just finished and sat here with a box of tissues. If you have survived narcissistic abuse or are supporting someone who has, I am convinced this is the first book to read. It explains, with great compassion, how a person with NPD becomes the way they are and why they treat their children, grandchildren or partners the way they do. A narcissist causes significant harm to others and we know they do so with intent, because they know to hide it (and they do) and they don’t treat everyone the same. They can stop and won’t. It’s not that they don’t love one person and do another. They can’t love anyone in the way healthy people do. People are placeholders for the things they believe about themselves. This book crucially explains why, when you finally understand how damaging the abuse is to you and any children you have, perhaps through long term therapy whilst still in regular contact, you won’t always have your family of birth around you to support you and yours through recovery from the abuse. You won’t be alone though. There are safe spaces, where you will grow new life. Thank you both, I am convinced your work is saving lives. xx
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- Sam
- 15-04-24
Wow, what a book.
This is a hard read if you’ve suffered from parental narcissistic abuse. It’s eye opening, heartbreaking and brings to the front all kinds of emotions. I’ve sobbed listening to it & also raged with anger at the memories listening to this book has brought back. This book is a must listen for anyone who wants to heal and grow after suffering narcissistic abuse.
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- Kindle Customer
- 28-05-24
enlightenment
this book gently takes you down a path that you may have locked away, it made me realise the things said to me weren't right, and not OK.
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