This post was originally published on Audible.com.
Note: Text has been lightly edited for clarity and does not match audio exactly.
Margaret Hargrove: Hi, listeners. This is Audible Editor Margaret Hargrove, and I'm excited to be here today with Dorit Kemsley, star of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. For years, fans of the show have had a front-row seat watching Dorit navigate the glamorous and often tumultuous world of reality TV. Now, Dorit is sharing her story in a whole new way with her memoir, Unburdened. Welcome, Dorit.
Dorit Kemsley: Thank you, Margaret. I'm very happy to be here.
Dorit, you joined The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in 2016 for season 7. After nearly a decade on the show, why did now feel like the right time to write your memoir? What made you want to tell your story in this way?
I think after nearly 10 years on the show, I finally reached a point in my life where I felt ready to tell the story behind the headlines and behind the version of me that people believed they knew. So much of reality television, it captures moments, but in a memoir, it really allows you to share the meaning behind those moments. You have much more of a voice. And it felt like I owed it to the audience. I owed it to the fans. It also felt like I had reached a point in my life that I needed to put it all on paper. I needed to answer the questions that people wanted the answers for. I wanted to share more of myself, things that I knew the audience, the world, didn't know. And I really wanted to tell my story in my voice. I also think I finally reached a point where I was emotionally ready to unpack all of it, and to do it in a very honest and vulnerable way.
You've already shared so much of yourself on the show over the last nine seasons: your kids, Jagger and Phoenix; launching a business; your scary home invasion and robbery in 2021. What do you hope listeners take away from your memoir that they haven't seen on camera? Is there anything new or unexpected that you want them to discover about you?
I hope people discover the woman behind the image. On television, you see pieces of someone, but not always the private struggles, fears, insecurities, or the strength that it takes to keep moving forward. I think people may be surprised by how vulnerable and introspective and emotionally honest this book is. That was really important to me. And at the end of the day, it's not just about what happened to me, it's about how those experiences changed me. The book forced me into a very reflective place, and it's one of my favorite parts of this process, because I feel like I've grown through this process, and that's very rewarding.
What surprised you most about reality TV once you were actually inside it? Because from the outside, it looks so glamorous and fun, but I imagine from the inside, it's something completely different.
Yes. I think what surprised me most is how emotionally intense it is. Like you said, from the outside, it can look glamorous and fun. And of course, by the way, there are incredible moments. But when you're living your real life publicly, it's very different. You're navigating friendships and marriage, motherhood and personal struggles, while knowing that millions of people will have opinions about it. I think that teaches you to be resilient, and it forces you to learn a lot about yourself. So, there's definitely the pros and the cons to it, but I think, overall, it's an experience that is rewarding and helps you grow.
You've had some explosive moments on the show, from the Erika Jayne underwear incident, the drug accusation from Lisa Rinna, Puppygate. These are some of the most dramatic moments in Housewives history. How does it feel to revisit them now with some distance?
I think with time and perspective, I can look back at those moments with a lot more clarity and less emotion. At the time, they felt very real and very painful, but now I can appreciate those experiences, how they shaped me, how they taught me lessons, how they ultimately made me stronger. Some moments are still difficult to revisit, there's no question. But I think there's a power in reflecting honestly on your own journey.
"The book forced me into a very reflective place, and it's one of my favorite parts of this process, because I feel like I've grown."
Knowing what you know now about being on a reality show, if you had to do it all over again, would you?
Yes, I would. I would. It's been one of the most extraordinary, challenging, rewarding experiences of my life. I mean, it changed me in ways I never expected. There are moments I would handle differently with the wisdom I now have, of course, but I don't believe in regretting the experiences that help shape who I am today.
You wrote this book from the messy middle, in the midst of filing from divorce and navigating life as a newly single mom. Was writing this memoir cathartic or healing for you? Did it give you a moment to remember how capable and strong you really are?
Very much so. Writing this book forced me to slow down and really confront everything I've been carrying emotionally. There were definitely painful moments, but it was also incredibly healing. It reminded me that I'm stronger and more capable than I sometimes give myself credit for. I think in many ways, though, writing this book helped me find the strength to find my voice again.
Walk me through the process of writing your memoir. I know you mentioned on the show last season that you worked with a co-author, a mother-daughter writing duo. What was the collaboration like?
It’s very special to collaborate, especially in a project like this. They were wonderful. They created space where I felt safe enough to be completely honest about parts of my life that were difficult or uncomfortable to share. I think more than anything, they really helped me dig deeper emotionally and helped me shape the book.
So, when you're writing your memoir, you sit down, where do you start? What is it that you think people will want to know? What will be interesting to people? There's a lot to cover, and being able to have that soundboard, being able to have people that you trust, that you feel safe with, that can really help you navigate this experience because they've done it, it makes it a lot easier and a lot better.
"The older I get, the more I value authenticity over perfection. I think that this next chapter of my life, that's the foundation."
Overall, it was a really wonderful experience. Of course, I'm a total control freak so I always knew going into this process, even with a collaboration, I don't easily hand things off to people. I remember that was always something that PK used to give me a lot of flak for it, and he would say, "You have the hardest time delegating. You need to do everything yourself." I don't think that will ever change. I think I'm starting to realize that. I really think that the beauty about this collaboration is they respected my thought, my view, what I wanted. They helped me make sure that I was being true to myself and doing what I told them from the beginning I was setting out to do. It was a very trusting and emotional process.
I've watched every season of Beverly Hills, and even though I knew about the story of your terrifying home invasion, hearing you narrate that chapter, it literally gave me chills. I had goosebumps. There's something about sharing your story in audio that feels very intimate and vulnerable. There are no cameras, it's just you alone in the booth. What was it like for you in the recording studio? Were there any particular parts especially emotional to narrate?
Recording the audiobook was far more emotional than I expected. When you're sitting alone in a booth, speaking those words out loud—and I'm speaking specifically about the chapters from the home invasion—you can't hide from the emotion of it. When I was narrating the home invasion chapter, it was incredibly difficult because it brought me right back into that experience emotionally. But the flip side, I also think that audio creates such an intimate connection with the listener. I think it feels deeply personal, almost like you're sitting across from someone who's sharing their story honestly for the first time. And I really like that concept. I really like that idea.
Well, you definitely have a voice for audio. Maybe you might want to add it to your résumé, make a career out of it.
I definitely have a newfound respect for narrators. I mean, incredible. You would think that it's, “oh, it's an easy process.” Especially, you wrote the book. I mean, it's your words. You're just basically sitting in a booth and reading your story. Well, it's not quite that simple, especially when you're doing it for hours. I mean, you're sitting in the same position. You need to be very consistent. I'm somebody that likes to move around. I don't like to sit still in one place and not be able to move forward, backwards.
But aside from that, hours speaking, and anyone that knows me knows that I'm not known for keeping things short, but when you're hours and hours speaking into a microphone, your mouth starts to get dry. It's not as easy as you would think to keep the same consistent level of energy and candor and focus. I learned so much. I learned all the tips and tricks. I had an incredible director, and she knew that this was really important to me. I didn't want anything less than what she thought was going to be great. So, did you hear the audiobook? Have you listened to it?
Yes, I listened to it. I really enjoyed it. That's why I said you could perhaps narrate someone else's memoir.
Wow, that’s such a lovely compliment. Thank you so much.
Have you listened to it yet?
You know, I haven't. I haven't had the chance, and I'm really looking forward to it. So, perhaps this evening I'm going to venture because it's like watching myself on television. I have this sort of love and hate with it. I want to see it, I want to listen to the audiobook, but I'm also so nervous that I won't like it and then it will sit with me. So, it's almost like I want people to listen to it tell me, "Yeah, it's great." And then I'm like, "Okay, I'll go listen to it." Inevitably, I always end up watching and listening. I just have to muster up the courage, if you will.
In Unburdened, you talk about being in a reflective place looking for growth and wanting to unpack and be unburdened. There's real power in that kind of honesty, even when it's uncomfortable. Even after being on a reality show for nine seasons, was that scary to put out there?
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. In some ways, this felt even more vulnerable than television because there's nowhere to hide behind editing and glam or production. It's just your thoughts, your feelings, your truth, all on the page. But I also think there's real freedom and honesty. And the older I get, the more I value authenticity over perfection. I think that this next chapter of my life, that's the foundation.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recently wrapped its 15th season. What are you most looking forward to in season 16?
Honestly, stepping into this next chapter from a very different place personally. I've grown a lot over the last year, and I think viewers will see a woman who's evolving, who's rebuilding and rediscovering herself in real time. I'm excited for what feels like a new beginning.
Dorit, thank you for sharing your journey with us today. I know there are many listeners who will be moved by your honesty and your willingness to share from such a vulnerable place. Your story reminds us that being unburdened isn't about having it all figured out but being brave enough to tell the truth even when it's uncomfortable. Listeners, Unburdened by Dorit Kemsley is available now on Audible. Thanks, Dorit.
Thank you, Margaret. Thank you so much, Audible. Thank you.
