What is happiness? Asking someone to define happiness is like asking him/her to define success. Happiness can mean a lot of different things, and the definition may vary from one person to another. To one person, happiness may mean having lots of possessions. To another person, happiness may mean being very successful in his or her chosen career. To still another person, happiness may simply mean having a healthy and happy family. Ask yourself: What is happiness for you?
Here's another important question: Can you control your happiness? Some people say that happiness is a choice. These people claim that you can choose to be happy, regardless of the circumstances in your life. That sounds good, but happiness is such an abstract and often fleeting state. How do we reach for it? Is it a difficult process? Can it be forced, or can it be faked? We all want to grasp happiness, but how do we do that?
Finding Our Happiness Flow helps people just like you find the real meaning of happiness. True happiness is within your grasp, and it can be achieved by accepting what is and living in the present moment. This book will teach you how to let go of the past and the future as well as your fears, desires, hurts, and other things that get in your way of true happiness. Finding Our Happiness Flow will teach you how you can love your life and experience happiness every day, regardless of the circumstances. Sound too good to be true? Listen and give it a try - happiness is within your grasp!
©2015 Dr. Robert Puff (P)2015 Dr. Robert Puff
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"Don't blame yourself, change your conditioning."
In the top 3.
Dr Puff begins by stating why happiness can be so elusive: It’s all about want in society. He then invites us to begin the book with the goal of happiness itself.
The book is interspersed with Dr Puff’s personal anecdotes to illustrate the core concepts. The voice of the narrator is warm, captivating and easy to listen to. In fact the voice is much like that of Game of Thrones’ Varys (actor Conleth Hill).
Happiness, says Dr Puff, is about feeling fresh, new and alive. And he warns us that labeling and notions stop us experiencing what is before us, right now in this moment –‘Once we see a sparrow and name it a sparrow, we stop seeing it’.
He goes on to explain that happiness is more a journey than it is a destination and if we want to be happy, we need to enjoy the journey. It’s wrong to miss out on life as we achieve our goals. If we don’t like working towards our goals then we should stop and change the goal.
As Macklemore put it ‘comparison’s a motherf*****’ and Dr Puff makes it abundantly clear that if we compare ourselves to other people we are going to suffer. The way to avoid this suffering? Become more aware of the comparison game. ‘Lets celebrate the bronze medals,’ he says. ‘Just living is worth celebrating’. Dr Puff highlights the importance of focusing on what we do have.
The author asks us to make a deal with ourselves: If we are going to blame anything for our suffering or for our bad behavior, lets blame our exposure, not ourselves. Dr Puff convinced me that whatever we expose ourselves to impacts our thoughts and our happiness. We have to think of choosing our exposure as choosing our happiness diet. This theme continues into one of the greatest strengths of the book, namely Dr Puff’s analysis of addictions. When it comes to addiction, he expresses how important it is to feel our feelings. And he provides helpful tips on how to break free of negative thoughts. Our minds can only focus on one thing at a time. We can, he says, break our focusing on the negative thoughts if we go for a walk, allowing for some quiet time in nature which refocuses our mind.
He explains that it’s actually the negative critical thoughts about ourselves that perpetuate addictions and bad habits. We tell ourselves I’’m bad, I’m bad’, and we believe ourselves, and then do more harm to ourselves . We must, says Dr. Puff, learn to separate the self from the action or addiction. And ask, what can I learn from this bad behavior? What situation, what exposure allowed for this to come about?
I especially enjoyed the section of the book on conditioning: If we change our conditioning we will change our behavior, but we must be kind, not self-critical of ourselves. We must be aware that it is our conditioning that caused our behavior. And we can change our conditioning. Dr Puff provides the listener with three practical things to do when bad things happen.
The author is spot on when it comes to talking about addictions. Feeling the feelings rather than suppressing them. Confronting the pain is healing the pain. We can work through the pain and then work on improving our lives. He also states that experiencing suffering helps us grow. Dr Puff identifies a direct correlation between the amount of suffering and the amount of growth in an individual.
‘We need to realize that life has mosquitos,’ he says. ‘ If Mother Theresa couldn’t be liked be everybody, how can we’. The author provides useful tools for dealing with criticism, and explains why the fear of slipping up causes us to slip up. If we start thinking it’s ok to make mistakes we will grow from our mistakes. It’s OK to mess up. We can accept our fallibility.
Dr Puff advises us to be flexible when changes happen rather than resistant. We need to relax our bodies before the change impacts. If we resist it, and stiffen our muscles, the impact will do us more damage.
There is a common theme in the book that happiness only exists in the here and now and Dr Puff reiterates the importance of getting in the present as soon as we begin our day. Just breathe.
The book also offers surprisingly good relationship advice, and comprehensively addresses the subject (and the benefits) of online dating.
In summing up, Dr Puff recommends that each day, if we set ourselves the small target of just finding happiness today, not in the future, then we are more likely to get closer to our goal of happiness . To quote a line from American Sniper, ‘Small targets, small misses.’
In fairness, I’d appreciate it if Dr Puff could intersperse some of his points and anecdotes with some of of the readily available scientific research from himself and his psychologist peers, but that’s the only improvement I can suggest. All in all this was an inspiring listen, and a great way to break away from negative thoughts and to refocus on happiness each and every day. The narration and audio quality was also excellent. I recommend everyone listen to this book. 5 Stars!
The scene where Dr Puff says: 'once we see a sparrow and name it a sparrow, we stop seeing it'
It made me laugh, and smile. And it brought me back to the present moment, the here and now. I also felt more relaxed in my body and it stilled my mind.
"A life changer"
You don't need to be unhappy, its not out of your reach, its not elusive. At least it doesn't have to be. Dr. Puff tells you how to put things into perspective, stay positive, and be happy.
I learned what we put out there what we get back.
I highly, highly recommend this audiobook, I found it to be very enlightening,
I would give it a 9 out of 10. It was high quality material as well as narrated extremely well. I rather enjoyed the accent the voice actor had.
Yes I would. I was able to close my eyes and listen to the book and focus on what was being said. Sometimes it's hard to really think about things when your reading but you can think while listening.
Finding a partner, opposites do attract but similarities are better. If your struggling and having a hard time, that is what you are going to attract.
"Fantastic - a true life changing book."
Absolutely, I could not recommend it highly enough. It has changed my life for the better and I am confident it would do the same for my friends. This book has something for everyone, from the ones lacking direction and happiness to the ones just needing a little reminder about the importance of being yourself and keeping true happiness in your life.
I love audiobooks but find some narrators to be irritating or, even worse, boring. This was definitely not the case with Hugh Trethowan - his narration was interesting and engaging at all times without being over the top.
This is one of those books that people will come to for different reasons. For me, it was quite a simple story - I was certainly not depressed but I was certainly not TRULY happy either. I felt I was lacking a bit of focus, a bit of direction and was perhaps spending too much seeking validation and happiness from other people instead of trying to finding internally in myself. I think this is the reason several relationships and friendships had failed in recent years. How can you be happy with someone else if you are not truly happy with yourself?
I had tried several books of this nature but found them all to be full of either incredibly cliched advice or went so far in to the unrealistic realm it was pointless (one book actually suggested I quite literally stood on a mountain top chanting...yes, really.)
This book was different. It made me think, it challenged me, it changed me. The advice in it was not stuff I had read a million times before, nor was it completely unrealistic nonsense. It was simple to follow advice which made me really look at my life, change or eradicate the stuff not making me happy and fill my life with the good stuff.
Within a few days of listening to this (usually on my commute to work in order to really set my day off to the right start) I found my relationships with other people getting better, simply because how I was looking at MYSELF was changing. My internal voice had changed. I was slowly discovering true internal happiness, not connected to money or the trappings of the modern world.
I see this as an ongoing journey. You cannot expect to listen to this one and to then find true happiness for the rest of your life. What this book does give is the tools and the steps to follow and as long as you are up for working at it I am fully confident this book will see your happiness increase. The right sort of happiness. The happiness in yourself.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Truly a life changing book.
"profound wisdom, user friendly format"
I struggle with anxiety and depression daily. I've been researching and reading a lot on the topic. this book is long but divided into short easy to digest chapters on ways to change your thinking, cope with change, and live life to the fullest. happiness is deeper than having the physical comforts we all seem. it's about enjoying the journey, being careful about the messages you listen to, and being grateful. there's a lot in this book so I'll be listening to portions again! I'd consider using this as a journal companion for self reflection. highly recommended.
"The Pursuit of Happiness"
I absolutely enjoyed this text. One of the greatest takeaways that I got from listening was how you really do have to make an effort to ensure that you're happy. There are so many forces out there trying to keep us in a miserable state that it almost makes you feel guilty to want to feel happy. But, why not? Did the universe really intend for us all to be moping around and miserable? I really don't believe that. The ending in which Dr. Puff talks about not watching the news everyday was a golden nugget of advice. For years I was a cable news junkie, but I finally realized that the more that I watched that stuff, the more angry and depressed I was right before I got to bed. Who wants to go to bed always depressed and angry?
Pick this one up if you're looking for a new direction in life and if you're looking for some solid tips for how to regain your strength and your vitality and your overall well-being. There's no reason that we can't and shouldn't be happy. I absolutely love this book and I think everybody should read it. If more people were happy in this world things would be so much better for everyone.
"Happiness is within our reach"
Guide to happiness
It provides us with a clear understanding of what happiness is, even if it varies from one person to another, and a guide for finding our happiness, regardless of age or the society we live in. I especially liked how it helps us understand that we must let go of the past and the future, as well as the feelings and emotions that get in our way in order to live a happy life in the present.
His way of expressing the content of the book is very professional and it kept my attention focused at all times. There is a lot of information in the book, but the narration is always on point and never seems to overwhelm.
I listened to the book over three days, as each section had a lot of valuable information and I took the time each day to think about what I had learned and apply it to my daily life.
It is a deeply insightful book and I found it very useful. I could apply several of the lessons learned almost immediately, bringing about changes in my daily life that help me towards the goal of better and much richer experiences.
"One of the best self-help audiobooks I've listened"
I have really enjoyed listening to this audiobook from start to finish and I was not bored a single minute. It made me feel much better and more enthusiastic about my life and I learned a lot about new ways of achieving personal happiness. The ideas behind the audiobook are very well explained and seem not too hard to implement. I would recommend it to anyone who is looking for a great "self-help" book about finding true happiness.
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