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You’re Not Listening

The lost art that can change your life

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Teklif 29 Ocak 2026 tarihinde saat 23:59 GMT itibarıyla sona erer.
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You’re Not Listening

Yazan: Kate Murphy
Seslendiren: Kate Murphy
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Özet

Brought to you by Penguin.

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?

This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever

As a society, we’ve forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively – even to those we love most. We’ve become scared of other people’s points of view, and of silence.

Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others.

Listening is about curiosity and patience – about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected.

When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.

© Kate Murphy 2020 (P) Penguin Audio 2020

 Communication & Social Skills Personal Development Physical Illness & Disease Social Sciences Words, Language & Grammar İlham verici
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Eleştirmen yorumları

The premise of this book couldn't be more timely... inspiringly profound… Smart and playful... It feels like a reiteration of something essential... Murphy is here to remind us – entertainingly and compellingly – exactly why it matters so much, especially right now. Hear, hear. (Viv Groskop)
Gripping from start to finish... brilliant…extraordinarily interesting…full of meat and gold. (Chris Evans)
Fiercely topical... You're Not Listening is an intriguing and constructive take on the problem... and a manual for better communication. Murphy’s book is intelligent and thought-provoking… Listening is when someone take a real interest in who you are…a moment of attunement and understanding that sticks in both heads. We could all do with some of that. (Melanie Reid)
It’s time for a spot of re-education... A fascinating guide to something we assume we do automatically, yet for the most part do very badly... The art of listening is really the art of being human. (Stephen Moss)
We are losing this most crucial, arguably, of our skills in the modern world... I'll be adopting Murphy's advice... and I will be employing "support" responses everywhere. (Charlotte Edwardes)
As any Samaritans volunteer will tell you, learning to listen properly can change lives — your own included. You’re Not Listening perfectly describes a problem a lot of us face in the smartphone age, and how to fix it. (Holly Brockwell)
Murphy has correctly identified a problem... This isn't a neo-Luddite manifesto, urging us to wean ourselves decisively off our phones, but it is a useful reminder that happiness often lies elsewhere. (Amelia Gentleman)
This lively book makes an impassioned plea for listening… an instructive and thought-provoking book that will help readers think about the way they frame questions and responses to forge intimacy. (Emma Jacobs)
In an age of echo chambers and multiple narratives, there is a lot of noise going on but very little listening. In this insightful, cogently reasoned book, Murphy extols the myriad virtues of this underused skill... A thoughtful, eloquent volume that could transform not just your relationships but your own worldview as well. (Waterstones Best Non-fiction Books for 2020)
If you’re like most people, you don’t listen as often or as well as you’d like. There’s no one better qualified than a talented journalist to introduce you to the right mindset and skillset - and this book does it with science and humour. (Adam Grant)
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These are interesting points but not new. Basically it's a lament for listening. Listening is good and people like to be listened. If you need to hear an argument for it, this book provides one. If you already think so, it doesn't add much.

nothing profound nor new

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Whilst there’s many books on speaking, there are far fewer on listening. This author makes a passionate plea for us to do more listening and to listen better arguing it will make for improved relationships and well being. Murphy uses science and observation throughout the book whilst discussing listening observations she has drawn from a wide range of professional listeners. Lively and entertaining and ultimately a good listen

Enjoyable listen that inspires reader to do more

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I'm struggling with this. I'm very open minded to the subject matter, and I think it's safe to assume anyone who's taking the time to listen or read the book would be. But hours in, I'm stil hearing how it's important to listen. I was hoping for a bit more insight on how we can tune in better and cut out distractions from our mind to listen more attentively.

The thing that's really getting frustrating though is it feels like the author wants to prove she's done her research, increase the word count, or both. She's constantly citing her sources, and in such agonising detail. For instance, she mentions John McCain and his bipartisanship, but doesn't just leave it there - she mentions when and how he died. Why? Every study mentioned has a year mentioned with it, and some other irrelevant detail. Why? It just makes listening harder and more arduous. Maybe that's the point and I just haven't got to the big reveal yet as to how the whole thing's a test!

Drowning in detail

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A great collation of many works, focussing on a modern, practical and easy to implement set of strategies to improve listening skills.

Brilliant

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Great content, but the interpretation is not really to my taste (too much pathos, sorry Kate Murphy)
I am also not very keen on the judginess she casts on today's society (even though i understand the reasoning behind, it still leaves the vibe that the author sees herself somehow morally superior)

eye opening content

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