Is It You or the App? Why Online Dating Feels Impossible for Black Women (Love Apptually) with Shalini Kantayya kapak görseli

Is It You or the App? Why Online Dating Feels Impossible for Black Women (Love Apptually) with Shalini Kantayya

Is It You or the App? Why Online Dating Feels Impossible for Black Women (Love Apptually) with Shalini Kantayya

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 Is it you, or is it the app?If you feel like you’re playing the same game on dating apps every day, this episode is for you.I sat down with filmmaker Shalini Kantayya, director of Love Appually, a documentary about dating apps and modern dating culture. We talk about the hidden “desirability scores” apps have been reported to use, what happens to your most intimate data, and what Black and brown women experience online. I also share the results of an internal study where 75 of my clients switched their profile race from Black to white and back, and what changed.Keep your eyes open, and stop making it about you.Is Hinge Racist? My 6-Week Black Women Racial Hinge Study Timestamps:00:00 Welcome + meet Shalini Kantayya01:30 Why she made Love Appually03:00 From the attention economy to the "intimacy economy"04:45 Two companies and the dating app market06:30 Why you feel stuck: the endless scroll and the paradox of choice08:30 Hidden "desirability scores" on dating apps11:45 How apps may rank women and people of color15:00 Your data: what apps know, sell, and don't tell you17:05 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy18:25 Anything good about dating apps? (and the app-free December challenge)20:15 What Black and brown women experience on the apps21:30 Why men feel dehumanized too: match rates and the manosphere24:30 My study: 75 clients switched their profile race28:45 Why my program uses apps less (referrals and offline)29:30 Vulnerability: why taking the mask off creates intimacy32:20 Where to watch Love AppuallyWatch Love Appually: Wednesday, November 18, 2026 at 8:00 PM Venue: Village East by Angelika, 181 Second Ave New York City Available for special DOC NYC digital screening across the U.S. for one week beginning November 18thDOC NYC & VIRTUAL TICKETS: https://www.docnyc.net/film/love-apptuallyThe premiere will be followed by a special Q&A with the director moderated by Faith Hill, staff writer of The Atlantic. BIO:Shalini Kantayya is an acclaimed film director whose work marries the future of technology with the future of story. Her film TikTok, Boom. premiered at Sundance 2022, was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize, and earned a 2023 Emmy nomination. Coded Bias (Sundance 2020), hailed as “the most important film about AI you can see today,” earned Emmy, Critics’ Choice, and NAACP Image Award nominations and reached global audiences on Netflix. Love Apptually completes her trilogy tracing the arc of technological power: from bias in code, to global attention, to the systems mediating human intimacy.Her debut, Catching the Sun, was a New York Times Critics’ Pick. Kantayya is a TED Fellow, Fulbright Scholar, and Sundance Fellow.Shalini's Links → Website | Instagram | Facebook | Speaking AgentTake 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). Book a call with me. Join the Get Your Guy Club Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar
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