Showing results by narrator "Jesse Bernstein" in All Categories

Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood. I never asked to be the son of a Greek God. I was just a normal kid, going to school, playing basketball, skateboarding. The usual. Until I accidentally vaporized my maths teacher. That's when things started really going wrong. Now I spend my time fighting with swords, battling monsters with my friends, and generally trying to stay alive. This is the one where Zeus, God of the Sky, thinks I've stolen his lightning bolt - and making Zeus angry is a very bad idea.

I look like a normal kid. Only there's a difference. Poseidon, God of the Sea is my dad. Which sounds cool, but actually means there is usually someone (or something), somewhere, trying to kill me. Now I live at Camp Half-Blood, with other kids like me. But Camp Half-Blood is a bit different to most summer camps. Instead of toasting marshmallows and singing campfire songs, we battle giant cannibals at dodgeball. This time, we're under attack and I need to get my hands on the Golden Fleece or we'll be invaded by monsters. Big ones.

The fifth fantastic adventure in the Percy Jackson series is now available to download, complete and unabridged, on audio! The greatest monster of all, the storm giant Typhon, is on the loose, wreaking havoc and destruction across the U.S. - while Kronos's army lays siege to Manhattan. Soon Percy Jackson must make the hardest choice of his life - a choice that will save or destroy the world.

The third fantasy adventure in the Percy Jackson series is now available to download, complete and unabridged, on audio. It's the last Friday before the winter holidays but Percy Jackson isn't at school: he's battling the fearsome Manticore (half human, half lion), which in itself isn't ideal . . . but with Annabeth missing and the goddess of the hunt held captive, things get a whole lot more serious . . . Greek mythology relocated to modern-day America.

The fourth incredible adventure in the Percy Jackson series. "Honestly, blowing up another school was the last thing I wanted to do. As the son of a Greek god, I've had my share of near-death disaster. This summer, I didn't choose to battle the cheerleading squad, but when two hissing she-devils with fangs are heading straight for you, what's a half-blood meant to do?"

Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable, audiobook edition of Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods by Rick Riordan, read by Jesse Bernstein. Who could tell the true stories of the gods and goddesses of Olympus better than modern-day demigod Percy Jackson? In this action-packed tour of Greek mythology, Percy gives his hilarious personal views on the feuds, fights and love affairs of the Olympians. Want to know how Zeus came to be top god? How many times Kronos ate one of his own kids?

A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very curious photographs. As our story opens, a horrific family tragedy sets 16-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the ruins of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. And somehow—impossible though it seems—they may still be alive.

In this gripping follow-up to Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods, demigod Percy Jackson tells the stories of twelve of the original Greek heroes in all their gory, bloodthirsty glory. Want to know who cut off Medusa's head? Which hero was raised by a she-bear? Who tamed Pegasus, the winged horse? Percy has all the answers....

In response to an awful camp orientation video created by the god Apollo, Percy Jackson and other residents of Camp Half-Blood answer such questions as 'what is this place?' and 'do I get to keep the T-shirt?' Newbies can check out the section on the Divine Cabins, read up on Magical Landmarks, and consult the chapter of Training Arenas. But Camp Half-Blood Confidential explores much more than just the buildings and grounds. It includes info that can be learned only from those who live there.

The year was 2014. We had cured cancer. We had beat the common cold. But in doing so we created something new, something terrible that no one could stop. The infection spread, virus blocks taking over bodies and minds with one, unstoppable command: FEED.

Everyone's favorite game maker, Mr. Lemoncello, is testing out his new Fabulous Fact-Finding Frenzy game! If Kyle can make it through the first round, he and the other lucky finalists will go on a great race - by bicycle, bookmobile, and even Mr. Lemoncello's corporate banana jet - to find fascinating facts about famous Americans. The first to bring their facts back to the library will win spectacular prizes! But when a few surprising "facts" surface about Mr. Lemoncello, it might be go to jail and lose a turn all at once!

Jude and her brother, Noah, are incredibly close twins. At thirteen, isolated Noah draws constantly and is falling in love with the charismatic boy next door, while daredevil Jude surfs and cliff-dives and wears red-red lipstick and does the talking for both of them. But three years later, Jude and Noah are barely speaking. Something has happened to wreck the twins in different and divisive ways…until Jude meets a cocky, broken, beautiful boy, as well as an unpredictable new mentor.

Rufus has been dreaming of getting a dog. His best friend has one. His worst friend has one. But his dad has a few objections: They whine. They gnaw. They bark. They scratch. They beg. They drool. Rufus pays no attention when his mom offers her think-outside-the-box suggestion, because she can't be serious. She can't be. She can be. And she actually comes home with a guinea pig. And if Rufus's dad thinks dogs are a problem, he won't know what hit him when he meets the Guinea Pig that thinks she's a dog.

Kimberlee Schaffer may be drop-dead gorgeous...but she also dropped dead last year. Now she needs Jeff's help with her unfinished business, and she's not taking no for an answer. When she was alive, Kimberlee wasn't just a mean girl; she was also a complete kleptomaniac. So if Jeff wants to avoid being haunted until graduation, he'll have to help her return all of the stolen items. But Jeff soon discovers that it's much easier to steal something than it is to bring it back.

Kyle Keeley is the class clown, popular with most kids, (if not the teachers), and an ardent fan of all games: board games, word games, and particularly video games. His hero, Luigi Lemoncello, the most notorious and creative game maker in the world, just so happens to be the genius behind the building of the new town library. Lucky Kyle wins a coveted spot to be one of the first 12 kids in the library for an overnight of fun, food, and lots and lots of games. But when morning comes, the doors remain locked. Kyle and the other winners must solve every clue and every secret puzzle to find the hidden escape route.

Welcome, boys and girls, listeners of all ages, to the first-ever Library Olympiad! Kyle and his teammates are back, and the world-famous game maker, Luigi Lemoncello, is at it again! This time Mr. Lemoncello has invited teams from all across America to compete in the first ever Library Olympics. Will it be fun? Like the commercials say... hello? It's a Lemoncello! But something suspicious is going on.... Books are missing from Mr. Lemoncello's library. Is someone trying to censor what the kids are reading?

When seventh grader Georges (the S is silent) moves into a Brooklyn apartment building, he meets Safer, a 12-year-old coffee-drinking loner and self-appointed spy. Georges becomes Safer's first spy recruit. His assignment? Tracking the mysterious Mr. X, who lives in the apartment upstairs. But as Safer becomes more demanding, Georges starts to wonder: how far is too far to go for your only friend? Liar & Spy is an inspired, often-funny story about destiny, goofy brilliance, and courage.

After months of anticipation, Mr. Lemoncello is taking his games out of the library and going live across the nation on the world-famous Kidzapalooza Television Network! Everyone's invited to audition, but only a lucky few will be chosen to compete in front of millions of viewers in a brand-new, completely immersive live-action breakout game - with real kids as the playing pieces! Kyle Keeley is determined to be one of them. 

So, life sucks just about as much as it possibly can. And when I see gargoyles heading straight for me, all I'm left wondering is who will kill me first - the winged monster-hunters, or the angry sea dragons? What I don't expect? The gargoyles don't know who or what I am. So maybe, just maybe, if I can hide my identity long enough, I'll survive. But it might take a little distraction to accomplish. The thing is, I don't think I mind distracting four hard-as-stone gargoyles who can't stop staring.

Why, why are grownups so insane? That’s exactly the question that Norman, Anna and Emma (the twins), and I, Leonard, try to answer. And with the help of Norman’s new tutor, Balthazar Birdsong (also fairly nuts), we nearly do it, too. No, seriously!