Showing results by author "Simon Carr" in All Categories

At this extraordinary national moment, with the country in lockdown, Audible teams up with some of our country's biggest stars, as they invite you in to their own homes for some uplifting chat.

There's a lot to cover here, ok, first what if the voice inside your head left and became a mop, you ever think of that? of course not, why would you, forget that. Second! If particles are everywhere all at once until they are observed, then why do we all see the same thing when we observe them, who is doing that, it can’t be us or we would all see something different, who or what controls what particles become when we look at them?

Bishop's Point is about to face its biggest crisis since the distempered badgers attacked. Father O'Riley and Father O'Malley are all that stand in the devil's way. The forces of Hell descend upon the sleepy Irish town en masse, but they were not expecting the good fathers to lead a rebellion against them.

This is the legend of Saint Frank, and the great deeds he what did to earn that Sainthood, not born a Saint, in the beginning he was just, Frank, but not long after some stuff that took long, he became Sir. Frank. Sir. Frank may or may not have slayed a Dragon, if he did then this is the Tale of how Sir. Frank became Saint Frank, and if he did not then this is the story of nearly a Saint Frank and a triumphant Dragon.

For a millennia, they sat waiting, traveling through the dark, empty, cold vacuum of space, plotting our demise. Every continuity was planned in detail. They were ready to wipe out our armies, crush any resistance, and sweep aside any warriors. Mankind’s fate was sealed. It was only ever just a matter of time. What they had not planned for - what they are not ready for - is Karen! Any likeness between Karen and any real persons alive or dead is purely inevitable.

Dracula looks on in horror at the monster's duck pouting on Instagram: teen vampires glistening in the sun with fabulous hair, werewolves with hipster beards.... He decides enough is enough. He will salvage the monster image with the monsters of old, and remind the world that they are so much more than fantasy objects for teenage girls.

The locals of The Bull’s Head meet an odd salesman after hours. The future of the entire planet hangs in the balance. Everything depends on them and their ever-dwindling grasp on sobriety.

Oddly, it turned out the only people who could survive a zombie apocalypse are spice zombies. A squad of spice zombies must use their immunity to the pandemic that's turning everyone into real zombies to save the last of humanity. Will the lowest of society forgive the way they have been treated to save the people who look down on them, or will they just get smashed on the free drugs and booze?

Real love knows no realities. The multiverse's first power couple were once a lonely queen and a king who had lost his kingdom. This is the story of how a multiverse in Khaos brought them together.

Well, that was sudden! Shamus turns on the television to discover that the planet has been invaded. Drew, Sabastian, and Mary, along with Shamus and an alien visitor, Teak, are all that survived the swift apocalypse.

Everything was better in the '90s unless it was being attacked by ghost witches. If it was being attacked by ghost witches then it was not that great; although it happened at a great time and in an awesome setting.

Bob's day is off to a bad start. He is abducted by alien blobs and is put into a zoo, while the rest of humanity is being taken to be slaughtered and turned into burgers. He has had better Thursdays. Bob's handler Fred befriends Bob, and the two of them try to change the legal status of humans from food to intelligent life so that the slaughter ship can be stopped and everyone returned to Earth.

Cy's story draws to a close. The end comes for us all eventually, but what end we face is in the hands of the Gods. Cy stands at the end of all things with his friends, his fate unknown, his destiny unclear, his gas bill unpaid.

Dear God a zombie bit Myffaine! All merry hell breaks loose and life as we know it is in danger of being snuffed out from the planet on what is otherwise not too bad of a Tuesday. Barry and Myffanie have to negotiate a Zombie apocalypse in an effort to save the market value of the house they bought in Ptthwit five years ago. An accident in a nearby cosmetics laboratory has unleashed a zombie horde onto the village, one that may take over the entire planet if they don't stop it, or worse completely wipe out the extra value Barry's Garage extension put onto their property.

We are back with all this business, so we are. You would think the church would be more careful with them doomsday books after what happened at Bishops Point, but it’s happened again, so it has. This time things are very grim. Santa himself and his whole operation up there in Lapland have been taken over by the Dark Lord.

The birth of the legend! War is brewing and the galaxy's only space sheriff and his robot companion will not be enough to contain it. An awesome hero saving the day with dumb luck and unlikely coincidences can only get you so far. But when epic battles loom, epic friends are required.

This queen was never a princess. Rejected as a child, Rangalan found family, friends and a home with the goblin folk of the mountains. Now hunted by the man who first rejected her, Rangalan's father, King Longhorn, there's nothing Rangalan will not do to protect her friends. That all sounds very serious. It's not. It’s actually all rather silly, utter nonsense if you ask me. Listen to it if you must, but don’t say I did not warn you.

Just because something is a conspiracy, that doesn't mean it is not true. Imagine if conspiracies were true: Not that weird, you might think. Now, imagine if all of them were true. That is the world into which Jim has just been thrust. Nothing is true, and everything is just plain weird.

The fate of every living thing in the multiverse that has ever existed or is going to exist rests in the hands of a band of, well, weirdos if I am honest, but they are our only hope. Our reality and every possible reality are under attack from an evil force called Khaos that has sent apocalypse after apocalypse at every reality around the planet Earth. Not every version of Earth fell; a mighty few stopped the apocalypse sent by Khaos. These few are all that stand in the way of Khaos...these warriors, these heroes, these Apocalypse Blockers!

Cy has had his monster license taken away, and he has been reclassified as a Pirate, on account of him just being a normal guy with just one eye. The Pirates life is not for Cy so when an opportunity to get his license reinstated presents itself, Cy embarks on a quest, of some kind, with some people of some description, to get something or other.