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Intentionally child-free, Dani falls in love with Julian, a divorced father of two. Now, she must embrace a lifestyle she's purposely avoided or return to her single life, eating oatmeal for dinner, standing at the kitchen sink half-naked while listening to gospel music. Julian makes her feel like she's the heroine in a trashy romance novel, and they move in together. The alternating weekends with his kids, Nicole and Tyler, are like babysitting—only without compensation. Just when she falls in love with Nicole and Tyler, Julian dumps her. But she will not be ignored or abandoned.

Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won’t drop dead. Her experiences are a case study in the human spirit’s tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. After years toiling in the entertainment industry, hearing “Almost,” “So close,” or “Not quite” on a loop, she turned rejection into fuel and humor into a survival tool.