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Everyone knows the way to a god’s heart is by tossing him onto a roller coaster… okay, maybe not, but it’s a dash of normalcy that Torin and I need before dealing with a malevolent god hellbent on destroying four realms. And I think we’ve just stumbled upon the next one. As if that wasn’t enough, I find myself handcuffed to a strange guy who would rather pummel me than help me, stuck trying to save Mickey from a curse that’s stolen his power (and interrupted his naps), and convincing my mighty god of love and war that we don’t need to join the mile-high club.

YorickPretending that I’m not in love with the thousand-year-old vampire who is the bane of my existence is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I know what you’re thinking… “Yorick the Great, you are far too good for Atticus the Old and Boring,” and you would be right… but...

Though I was born with the ability to see the dead, I struggled with it until my brother was killed and his ghost was left behind. Now, I’m determined to figure out who is responsible for his death…the problem is that Detective Maddox Booker, the one working the case, is a grumpy and stubborn man who wants nothing to do with me and definitely doesn’t believe in ghosts. It doesn’t help that I keep finding myself looking ridiculous in front of the detective, thanks to interfering ghosts who enjoy laughing at my expense.

Growing up, I was taught that getting too close to someone would be my downfall. But I’ve proven that wrong now that I’m happily married to Jackson, the greatest man in the world. The issue is that mayhem always seems to find me (which is definitely not my fault), and this time, it comes in the form of a woman looking for her daughter.

I finally have a chance to team up with Bradley, the hot fellow police officer that I’ve been longing to get closer to. Somehow, I haven’t scared him off, even with my awkward flirting and my father telling him that I mimed giving birth to a cat as a child. When we get a call about a missing college student, I’m eager for the chance to work a case with Bradley, especially when we realize that there might be something more going on. But Bradley and I are determined to figure it out together, even if it means that I have to walk through an adult shop with him by my side.

Weirdly, people don’t react overly well when you’re caught standing over the dead body of a murderer who’d walked free. It’s not that I thought my fellow homicide detective would rejoice when he saw what I’d done, but is a pat on the back too much to ask for? Maybe a gold star at the very least? The problem is that the person who caught me is Gabriel, the only person I care for and adore… and he’s prepared to look the other way if I leave homicide and promise to never kill again.

When the light-magic users known as Casters took everything from me, I vowed to make them pay. Little did I know the perfect opportunity would show up in the form of a sweet Caster the moment I took his arrow to the heart…literally. Bastian knows that I’m made of dark magic, the very thing he’s been taught to destroy. But instead of turning away from me, he takes a chance on me, leading me behind the walls of the group out to kill me.

When the vampire stalking me sent me a letter, I was prepared for my new life with the man I love to get thrown into chaos. But as the days stretch on and nothing happens, I become determined not to allow that monster to rule my life and decide that Marcus and I will move on. We can’t always allow the past to haunt us. If that includes pestering Marcus and harassing my fellow detectives, they’d better learn to love it because I’m not going anywhere, even if they like to remind me I’m the only human working in a department filled with vampires.

Seeing the dead has never been easy, but the last thing I expected was to be a pawn in a serial killer’s game. Moving in with Maddox was supposed to be the only thing we needed to worry about. Not a dead teacher, and not the fact that a serial killer knows my abilities. Following the trail left behind leaves us racing against time to figure out how to stop the murders before the final victim falls.

Being a hit man has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go. Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll, Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better.

Now that Leland’s decided to give up his life as a hitman and take a walk on the mild side, we’ve been enjoying a simple life of taking down bad guys the legal way. I didn’t know he would be just as reckless as a PI, but it’s not my fault if I happen to enjoy helping him hunt down the occasional criminal. If only I could keep the house from being overrun by Leland’s gun shrine - or stop him from making our cases “more exciting” by terrorizing people into confessing. Overall, life seems perfect, right? Wrong.

Getting into the vampire-only detective unit was the easy part. What’s going to be more difficult is dealing with my new partner - an ancient vampire who keeps threatening to eat me. The unit has never had a human in it. Marcus - or, as I like to call him: Fangy McFangface - would really prefer to keep it that way. He’s grumpy, short-tempered, and broody, but I have a way with words, and I know he’s starting to like me, even if he swears he’s not.

Our new detective agency isn’t exactly booming, and I can’t quite tell whether it’s because we’re three strange men trying to solve others’ problems or the pig. It might be the pig. Of course, nothing can ever be simple for too long with Felix and Lane around. When Grayson–a man I used to work with–calls, everything is thrown out of control. I’d been willing to give him my heart once, but after my world was shattered by outside forces, I’m not sure there’s any heart left to give. But life for someone like me doesn’t stay quiet… though maybe quiet isn’t what I need.

Loving Leland comes easy, but keeping him safe doesn’t because there’s someone trailing Leland who might want to hurt him. The problem is that as Lucas strings us along and tales begin to become tangled, it’s hard to tell who is right and who is wrong.

Life is normal… suspiciously normal. During my long, lonely years as a hitman, I never realized that one day, I would have a family to call my own. Now, instead of stalking my targets and taking down people with a flick of my wrist, my specialties lie in things like planning sleepovers (why does Waylon look terrified?), The Fence hour (those are screams of joy), and involving others to help our child succeed (no, of course I didn’t abduct anyone).

Despite winning Gabriel’s heart, my trials are not yet over when I’m stuck competing with Gabriel’s cat for his affection (why is she only evil when he’s not looking?), dealing with coworkers trying to befriend me (I should have blackmailed more of them), and worst of all... meeting Gabriel’s parents (whose affection I will win with lavish presents).

When did fake-then-real dating an ancient vampire become the easy part? Casimir’s ridiculously sweet now that he’s conquered “the art of the flirt,” as he calls it. He tries hard to fit in with my family—if we forget about those silly threatening chocolates he sent my father—and he even makes me popcorn… okay, he tried. I know, I know, I’m just bragging at this point.

Is a nice little wedding with Blow-up Randy and Jackson My Love too much to ask for? Clearly, because someone’s trying to kill one of us...again. Generally, this would be my thing and I would jump right in singing my murder song, but they want Jackson dead and I will do anything (and I mean anything) to keep him alive - including and not limited to: 10 Dobermans, bulletproof glass, and dragging Cassel in with the promise of more Jerebear.

Trying to keep my familiar out of the meat display while shopping is the hardest part of my day… until someone drops a god right into my humdrum existence. Torin, a massive man claiming to be a god, is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. He insists on learning English through adult graphic novels, believes the pizza delivery guy is an assassin, and thinks he can kick a subway into submission (talk about adding a bit of spice to my life, which has been sadly lacking since I left the Magical Interference Unit).

When I gave up life as a hitman, I thought everything was going to be better. I was going to become a PI, help people, and live normally…and then I met Jeremy, the most perfect man to have ever saved my life (I mean, he might be the only one who has saved my life, but he’s still the best at it). From that point on, it was all over for me - I knew we were meant to be. The issue is that he doesn’t…quite seem to realize that. But when he’s targeted by criminals (literally, someone just shot at his head), he needs to rely on someone, so why not me?