Showing results by author "Jeff Strand" in All Categories

Though still mourning his recent loss, George Orton is surprisingly content. He's living in a secure compound where teenaged werewolf Ally is being trained to control her animalistic tendencies, and mad science experiment Eugene has regained most of his sanity. George knows they can't stay there forever, but for now, things are pretty good. Then he receives some shocking news: People at the compound have brought his partner and best friend Lou back to life. Not as a flesh-eating zombie; he's the old Lou, as much of a wiseass as before.

A city where people are turning gleefully insane. Inescapable blood-sucking bugs. A serial killer who may have discovered proof of alien life. A kinky proposal to "even out" an instance of infidelity. A man whose fingernails are growing at an out of control rate. These are only a few of the stories in Jeff Strand's deranged new collection, which includes several macabre tales written just for these bloody audiobook.

After a disastrous evening playing slot machines, Ethan Caustin wonders how he's going to explain his massive loss to his wife and kids. As he tries to find his way out of the casino, sick to his stomach and filled with self-loathing, he's approached by a stranger who offers a solution to his problem. It's a simple game. A 99 percent chance for him to win $10,000. In the remote chance that he loses...well, he'll be strapped into a device that shatters his left arm.

George and Lou used to be thugs for hire. Now they're living in a shack in Costa Rica, hiding from the crime lord who wants them dead. Their last job, to deliver him a werewolf in a cage, went...badly. But they can't hide out forever, and when they're finally captured, it seems as if George and Lou's ultimate fate will involve being doused in gasoline and set aflame. Instead, they're given a second chance. There's another werewolf out there. This time, it's Ally, a 14-year-old girl.

Rusty Moss has raised his niece Mia since she was a baby. Now that she's almost 18, he's worried that the life he's given her - living off the grid in a cabin deep in the woods - is holding her back from her full potential. But that angst gets pushed aside when the undead forest animals arrive. At first it's just a squirrel - shockingly violent and almost impossible to kill. Followed by a grizzly bear, also aggressive and resilient, even when point-blank shotgun blasts to the face are involved.

In this dark and hilarious new adventure, Andrew has started up a private investigation business with his best friend Roger (slogan: "We Solve Weird Problems"). Since his options in life will become somewhat more limited after his wife Helen gives birth to triplets, it's his last-ditch effort to get out of being stuck with a corporate day job. One of their first clients is an attractive woman named Shirley. Keeping with the kind of luck Andrew has had his entire life, her problem is: "I think I may be a serial killer".

A serial kidnapper is preying upon women. He abducts them and then locks them in one of the cages dangling from the ceiling in a soundproofed basement. There, he sits quietly and just watches them, returning night after night, hoping he'll be in the room at the moment his beautiful captives finally starve to death.

To Hell and Back serves as a mosaic of contemporary fears and timeless terrors, curated and edited by the Bram Stoker Award-winning Joe Mynhardt. This collection of horror stories brings together a diverse array of tales from both beloved and emerging voices in the horror genre, each story a unique exploration of the dark corners of the human psyche.

Journey through the twisted minds of evil children, those who are born not of childish whimsy, but rather sprout from the seeds of nightmares. Presenting Evil Little F---s, a curated anthology of horror stories penned by leading authors in the genre. Traverse a universe where humanity’s own offspring unleash a level of brutality that surpasses the capabilities of most adults. Just remember, you brought them into this world, and you just might have to take them out.

Meet the new, improved Andrew Mayhem. He has a real job. He’s a better father and husband. And he’s vowed to quit accepting money from strange women in coffee shops to perform tasks that go terribly, terribly wrong. This time, he’s just taking a relaxing camping trip with his family and best friend. No shortcuts. The gas tank is full. The sinister warning of the crazy old man is taken seriously. Unfortunately, when you’re Andrew Mayhem, you just can’t help being attacked by a group of savage killers bent on inflicting ghastly torture and bringing horrific death.

Cemetery Dance Magazine says that, "No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." Gleefully Macabre Tales compiles 33 of his most twisted blends of cringe-worthy horror and ghoulish humor, with a couple of serious pieces thrown in just to mess with you.

Somebody has been abducting children in Fairbanks, Alaska. One of the victims was 14-year-old Curtis Black's best friend, Todd. Curtis saw it happen. He knows exactly who did it. But he can't prove that it was his neighbor, Gerald Martin. The authorities find no evidence of the crime. There's nothing they can do. So he's going to confront Mr. Martin himself. And this is just the beginning of the terrifying story.

Twins Oliver and Trisha love going on adventures with their dad. Canoeing and camping on the Champion River will be their best trip yet! But when they capsize in rapids, their father is knocked unconscious. Alone and without cell phone reception, their only choice is to continue down river for help.

Though Darren Rust is serving a life sentence in prison, Alex Fletcher is desperate to escape the shadow of his former best friend. Darren is a psychopath who thought he’d found somebody who would kill with him, and when he realized he was wrong, he took everything from Alex. Alex is unable to have a normal social life. Until he meets Luna Booth. Alex may not have found his soul mate, but he’s found somebody that he loves spending time with. Somebody who doesn’t mind the nightmarish skeletons in his closet. In fact, she may be too understanding. Too interested.

As a stay-at-home dad taking care of triplets, Andrew Mayhem's days of getting into wild adventures are over. His life is measured in diaper changes. Sleep has become an abstract concept, something oft-discussed with his wife, Helen, but rarely experienced. So, when internet celebrity explorer Percival Longshore asks Andrew and his best friend, Roger, to travel with him on a good old-fashioned treasure hunt, Andrew laughs off the idea.

Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers, are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore. Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. But millions of oversized spiders are about to invade....

Yes, the author of Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, Candy Coated Madness, and Freaky Briefs isn’t done with you yet. There will be serial killers. There will be cosmic horror. There will be extremely demented cooking competitions. There will be pink fizzy drinks. There will be Santa Claus, hangings in the Old West, body swaps, some light cannibalism, and monsters galore.

Evan Portin is at a sad, scary place in his life. While taking a long walk to compose himself and figure out where to go from here, he encounters a young woman being mugged in a park. When he tries to intervene, he discovers that she doesn't need his help. At all. Her name is Harriett. She is very, very good at defending herself. Everything she owns is in a large backpack. She's never seen a cell phone. She's never been in a car. She's never really ventured into the outside world. And she says she's traveling across the country to slay a Cyclops. She's crazy, right?

They call her Blister. She's a hideously disfigured 23-year-old woman, living in a shed next to her father's house, hidden away from the world. Jason Tray is a successful cartoonist, banished to his agent's lakeside cabin for a few days of mandatory rest and relaxation. One night, while hanging out with a couple of the locals at a dive bar, he takes them up on their offer to go "see Blister," having no idea what they're talking about.

Dead Clown Barbecue is a collection of 29 gleefully macabre tales, seven of which were written just for this collection. There’s even a brand-new one about a ventriloquist dummy. Those things creep you out, right?