Pull up a bit of the couch: it’s Champions Cup round one at Loftus, we can’t find Stade’s American prop Jack Iscaro, and Tocco thinks we’re broadcasting from Peoria, Illinois.

Jonesy comes in hot when a pencil-thin scrum half starts telling grown front rowers how to hold their body weight and goes on a rant 20 years of playing in the making, a hooker bleeds from his ear for most of the match, and Marco van Staden takes the scrum places no scrum should have to go. There’s a man held together by tape and dreams, a history lesson on the French and the Germans, the Metzstein Files are back, and someone ends up “hand job adjacent.”

Confidently incorrect, half-cocked, and with a cold Negroni in hand. It’s rugby the way you’ve always loved it. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you’ll like it here.

Follow us on IG @WrongSideoftheRuck and email us at wrongsideoftheruck@gmail.com

0:00 Cold open: tape and dreams3:30 Live from Peoria9:21 Kickoff14:32 The first scrum18:56 Pollard's 50/2228:35 Pronunciation court34:47 Commercial: the East Side Hyenas38:31 Pencil-thin scrum halves45:33 Too aggressive in the scrum53:58 Are the French Germanic?58:42 The Metzstein Files1:01:51 Halftime: Fable and Glen Gouley1:04:20 Second half1:11:54 Botha or Bakkies?1:18:46 Who has it worse in preseason?1:33:38 DIY or die1:35:56 Hand job adjacent1:42:23 The 25 lb kettlebell1:50:02 Next week: Negroni, Scotch and Glasgow1:55:48 Outro

The couch lands in Eden Park this week as we polish the Bledisloe Cup up and Jones sits on the edge of his seat in hope. Right out of the gate Tocco looks to go in dry and get this thing fired up.

We debate Mackenzie at 10, get a good yell in at the Ref's for that BS call and watch try after try roll in on both sides. We get lost a bit takling small hookers and nails in the coffin but steer the couch back around to talk the AB's skills in flodding through the line and opening up opportunities.

Confidently incorrect, chaotic calls and good people to argue with. Grab a beer, bring a friend and pull up a bit of the couch.

Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

Find us on IG at WrongSideoftheRuck

We take the couch out of the southern hemisphere this week to get back to the UK and the URC where it's a Welsh derby. Scarlets vs. Dragons. Jones takes a Dragons try very personally, Tocco gets told to fuck off twice inside a minute and both are earned.

We've got Q-Tip blonde hair on an islander, a linout that fails to succeed and a maul so dirty it should have to register on a list somewhere. Manzano comes within a bootlace of glory, somebody's drinking like a little bitch and someone else thinks a casual 10 beers is just a quiet Tuesday.

It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Confidently incorrect, with a cold beer in hand and good people to argue with. Pull up a bit of the couch, bring a friend and join us here on the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

Its time for more Saffa's as the couch makes a hard right from the Premiership game we had planned to take a look at what everyone's been talking about. The Wallabies are taking on the Springboks; Rassie made 13 changes and a new captain, Tocco came ready to fight the TMO and Jones can't stop giggling about the ref being that bad AND being Italian.

We've got bare ass tries, a Bigfoot that you'd swear was Randy Quaid, panty-less fries and a mustache that clearly fucks. The Pope even shows up for whats going on in at the end. It's complete pandemonium. It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Half cocked opinions fueled by cold beer and a few too many concussions. It's Rugby on the Wrong Side of the Ruck. Welcome. We think you'll like it here.

Houston, we have a problem. The Couch made its way over to Japan for the 3rd place final of the Pacific Nations series this year where the US takes on Canada. And fumbles hard.

There's a lot happening here and we didn't think to edit much. We talk scrums, Lot Lizards, dodgy mullets and beautiful Europeans. We get an update to the opening of the Top14, Premiership and URC tables, a primer on "As the Dragon Turns" and too little talk about how the US is just cocking it right up. Good thing we don't have a World Cup coming.

It's rugby the way you've always loved it. Categorically incorrect, slightly buzzed and coming at you from the Wrong Side. Welcome. We think you'll like it here.

The road to Baltimore was so long that some of us fell asleep on the couch. The Finale between the All Blacks and South Africa nearly broke Craig and had Tocco all over the place.

Somewhere in the Chaos we talk Benjamin Button scrum halves, Jones waxes poetically about the Killdozer and we get stuck in on scrums again. Codie Taylor needed a band-aid, we've got dag jokes and somewhere through it all we actually fit in a conversation about the game, the fall of the All Blacks and a rugby world without a Superman.

It's rugby the way you love it here; confidently incorrect, cold beer in hand and good friends to argue with. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.

The plan was simple: pull up a bit of the old couch, crack a few beers and watch the Saffa's take on the Blackness. That didn't even last through the first fifteen minutes as we get derailed finding ourselves in Groundhogs Day.

We explore the dodgy mullet club and see if we have a new entry, Tacolini makes a cameo, we chat about Clippy and there's a penalty for running too hard that ends with an argument. Savea does Savea things and we can't contain ourselves, scrums and the dark arts come up and we get almost a full 30 seconds of genuine conversation about what it means to be a teammate.

Half cocked opinions based on almost nothing, cold beer and rugby the way you've always loved it. Grab yourself a bit of the couch and join us. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck.

We think you'll like it here.

Pull up a bit of the couch as Tocco claims he's coming in hot and Jonesey is wound tight the whole episode; which Tocco loves. We're sitting down for Round Two of the Greatest Rivalry as the Springboks and All Blacks square off in Cape Town, stop 2 on our Road to Baltimore.

Somewhere in all the shenanigans we fall down a scrum rabbit hole and can't stop chatting about the angles, the prop infighting, and the dark arts. What's not to love? We've got a lot lizard TMO rant that goes sideways, caterpillar ruck bullshit that Jones can't handle, and Craig gets caught in a cacophony he can't seem to shake.

It's rugby the way you've always wanted it; slightly unhinged, confidently incorrect, and always with a cold beer in hand. Welcome to the Wrong Side of the Ruck. We think you'll like it here.