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When Shame Looks Like Defiance

When Shame Looks Like Defiance

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Why do some pupils smile, deny what happened, blame someone else or become angry when they're challenged about their behaviour?

Sometimes, what looks like defiance or a lack of remorse may actually be a defence against shame.

In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you'll learn:

- The important difference between guilt and shame - and why it matters for behaviour

- Why shame doesn't always look like shame, and can sometimes appear as smiling, blame, denial or aggression

- How shame can contribute to a cycle of dysregulation and escalating behaviour

- Why understanding the need behind behaviour doesn't mean removing boundaries or accountability

- Four practical ways to respond that reduce shame and make it easier for pupils to take responsibility, repair relationships and move forward

If you support pupils who become defensive, angry or dysregulated when they're corrected, this episode will help you understand what might be causing it - and respond effectively.

Important links:

Get our FREE SEND Behaviour Handbook: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/send-handbook

Download other FREE behaviour resources for use in school: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/resources.php

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