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Vulnerability & Drinking: Getting Out of Your Own Way

Vulnerability & Drinking: Getting Out of Your Own Way

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 Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 147Why is it so hard to be honest about your drinking even with yourself? In this episode, Anna Donaghey explores the real reason vulnerability feels so impossible, especially when questioning your relationship with alcohol. Drawing from both personal experience and the groundbreaking research of Brené Brown, Anna dives into why the moment we admit to ourselves, "I've been wondering about my drinking," is so terrifying, and why opening up is the first step towards real change.Anna unpacks the subtle and not-so-subtle ways we armour up busyness, perfectionism, people pleasing, and of course, alcohol itself. She shows how our culture’s black-and-white labels ("normal" versus "problem") keep us silent and stuck, and shares practical exercises for opening two doors: first, being honest with yourself, and then, speaking it out loud to someone else. Full of gentle insight and actionable tools, this episode is for anyone ready to get curious, let go of shame, and start moving forward.Highlights:00:00 Intro: Why questioning alcohol feels so hard01:28 The 3am wakeup and uncomfortable questions 03:20 The six-word sentence: “I’ve been wondering about my drinking” 05:32 What vulnerability is (and isn’t): Brené Brown’s definition 07:11 The armour we use: humour, busyness, perfectionism, alcohol 12:11 Why our language puts us in boxes (“normal” vs “problem”) 13:42 Alcohol use as a spectrum, not a binary 15:22 The fear of what others will think 16:32 The first door: letting yourself have the thought 18:26 How we bargain, compare, and distract to avoid honesty 22:25 Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion 25:36 The moment Anna got curious and things started to shift 30:09 Alcohol, health, and why it’s okay to start exploring31:06 The second door: saying it out loud to someone else 32:02 Why shame thrives in secrecy 33:03 How to make speaking up easier 34:42 Anna’s first honest conversation with her husband 42:14 Dan Sullivan’s 4 Cs rule: why courage comes before confidence 42:50 Bringing it all together: two doors to change 44:18 Next week’s episode: the power of community. Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources Join the The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab, Anna’s ‘inner circle’ on Substack, find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.ukMentioned in this episode:Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.
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