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Katie Wheeler:

https://www.instagram.com/katie.wheeleraccess/

Chad Williams:

https://www.instagram.com/chadwillia1/

Daryl Perry:

https://www.instagram.com/daryltperry/

What does dating look like when both people in a relationship have disabilities? How do you navigate accessibility challenges, long distance, and the everyday realities of building a life together?

We're welcoming Katie Wheeler back for a conversation about her new relationship, finding meaningful connections, and navigating love when both partners have disabilities.

Katie previously joined us to discuss digital accessibility and advocacy. This time, she's sharing a much more personal part of her life.

After connecting with someone on social media who works in the same digital accessibility field, Katie found herself building a relationship with someone who understands many of the experiences that come with living with a disability.

Katie uses a wheelchair, and her boyfriend is blind. While their disabilities create different challenges, they've found ways to support one another, communicate openly, and learn from each other's experiences.

We discuss what makes this relationship different from Katie's previous experiences, including the importance of having a partner who makes an effort to understand your everyday life, respects your needs, and genuinely wants to spend time together.

We also explore the realities of maintaining a relationship between the United States and Canada. Katie shares how they coordinate visits, communicate throughout the day, and navigate the logistics of traveling to see each other.

One of the biggest parts of our conversation focuses on Katie's first solo trip to Canada.

What should have been a relatively straightforward journey became an exhausting experience involving inaccessible transportation, wheelchair accommodation problems, extended delays, and serious concerns about her safety.

Katie shares what happened during her experience with Greyhound, the challenges she and her boyfriend faced together, and how they've developed a different travel plan for future visits.

Her story highlights an important issue that extends well beyond dating and relationships.

Accessible transportation should be available to everyone, and promised accommodations need to work in practice.

Throughout the conversation, we also discuss the importance of connection, shared interests, mutual support, and finding someone willing to navigate life's challenges alongside you.

For people with cerebral palsy and other disabilities who wonder whether meaningful romantic relationships are possible, Katie's experience offers a personal perspective on finding someone who values you and makes the effort to build something together.

Relationships aren't without challenges, whether disability is involved or not. But communication, understanding, respect, and a willingness to show up for one another can make an enormous difference.

We're grateful to Katie for sharing her experiences, both the exciting parts of her relationship and the difficult realities of navigating a world that isn't always accessible.

And we hope this conversation encourages more open discussions about disability, dating, accessibility, and the opportunities for meaningful connection.

Tad's Links

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/atadbettercoaching/

Website:

https://coachtad.my.canva.site/atadbettercoaching

Connect With Chad and Daryl

Chad on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/chadwillia1/

Daryl on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/daryltperry

Episode Description

What does living with cerebral palsy look like when your disability isn't immediately visible to the people around you?

In this episode, host Chad Williams and co-host Daryl Perry welcome Tad Hop to share his experiences with mild cerebral palsy, sobriety, running, personal growth, and building a coaching business focused on helping LGBTQ+ individuals navigate religious trauma.

Tad's story begins with a serious childhood illness that nearly took his life. After being hospitalized with severe food poisoning in second grade, he was eventually diagnosed with cerebral palsy. To this day, it's unclear whether his cerebral palsy was present from birth or related to that illness.

Although Tad can walk, run half marathons, and participate in sports, he also experiences challenges that aren't immediately apparent to others.

He shares how everyday activities like tying his shoes, swimming, following assembly instructions, and putting together furniture can present significant obstacles.

Being capable of doing one thing doesn't mean someone isn't experiencing significant challenges in other areas of life.

The conversation explores how these experiences affect Tad's confidence, independence, and understanding of his disability, particularly after moving from the United States to Amsterdam.

Tad also shares how getting sober in 2017 led him to discover running.

What began as a way to stay active and occupy his time became something much more meaningful. Running helped him develop a stronger connection with his body, introduced him to new experiences, and eventually led him to join a softball team where he met his husband.

We also discuss the importance of appreciating personal progress without constantly comparing our abilities to those of other people.

Tad recognizes that cerebral palsy may influence his athletic abilities, but that doesn't diminish his enjoyment of running, participating in sports, or celebrating how far he's come.

Progress doesn't have to mean becoming the best at something. Sometimes it's about appreciating what you're able to do and how you've grown.

The conversation then shifts toward Tad's professional work and the development of A Tad Better Coaching.

Drawing from his background in nonprofit case management, seminary education, and hospital chaplaincy, Tad now focuses on helping LGBTQ+ individuals navigate religious trauma and explore what healing means to them.

After stepping away from his own path toward ordination and leaving Christianity, Tad recognized an opportunity to use his experiences and training to support others facing similar challenges.

His approach emphasizes allowing individuals to define healing for themselves rather than prescribing what their relationship with religion or spirituality should become.

We also discuss his goals for expanding his coaching practice, creating group programs and retreats, continuing disability advocacy, and building a life in Europe with his husband.

Throughout the conversation, Tad offers an important reminder that cerebral palsy is only one part of someone's experience.

Our disabilities, experiences, challenges, and abilities all contribute to our stories, but none of them has to define everything we're capable of becoming.

Join Chad, Daryl, and Tad for a conversation about recognizing invisible challenges, embracing personal growth, finding purpose through lived experience, and creating opportunities to help others along the way.

Connect With Us

Kaitlin Pais

https://www.instagram.com/kreationsbykittles/

Chad Williams

https://www.instagram.com/chadwillia1/

Daryl Perry

https://www.instagram.com/daryltperry/

Episode Description

In this episode of the Cerebral Palsy Perspective, Chad Williams and I are joined by Kaitlin Pais for a conversation about cerebral palsy, adaptive fitness, mental health, community, and what it means to keep showing up for yourself.

Kaitlin recently completed a HYROX competition alongside her twin sister, something she once never imagined herself doing. She shares how she went from being able to handle one workout class a week to consistently training four or five days a week, including HYROX specific training.

We talk about how she adapts movements because cerebral palsy affects the entire left side of her body, including using an adaptive grip for lifting and modifying the wall ball portion of HYROX while still completing as much of the competition as possible alongside able bodied athletes.

But this conversation goes much deeper than one race.

Kaitlin opens up about growing up as a twin with cerebral palsy, constantly being compared to her sister, feeling different as a child, navigating anxiety, and learning how those childhood experiences can continue showing up well into adulthood.

She also talks about something many adults with cerebral palsy understand, reaching adulthood and suddenly feeling like the medical system that supported you as a child disappears.

We get into the importance of staying active as we age, finding doctors and treatments that work for us, and learning from other people with cerebral palsy who understand experiences that can be difficult to explain to anyone else.

Kaitlin also shares how starting her Instagram account changed her relationship with cerebral palsy. What began as a way to work on using her left hand eventually became a place to share her journey and connect with other disabled people.

There were times she wanted to stop posting. There were times she felt uncomfortable watching herself on video. There were times anxiety made her question whether she should share something at all.

Then someone would message her and say, “That is exactly how I feel.”

And that reminder kept her going.

One of my favorite parts of this conversation is Kaitlin’s perspective on progress.

You do not have to start by working out five days a week.

Kaitlin started with one.

Then she built from there.

The same idea applies far beyond fitness.

Start somewhere you can succeed. Give yourself something manageable to work toward. Adapt when you need to. Keep showing up.

Kaitlin’s HYROX finish represents something much bigger than finishing a competition.

It represents discovering what becomes possible when you stop measuring yourself against everyone else and start building from your own level.