Why am I so mad at myself? If you keep replaying a moment you wish you’d handled differently, and you’re angrier at yourself than at the person who actually wronged you, this episode is for you. I share a bad date I still can’t shake, the moment I stayed when I should have walked out, and why I was still beating myself up about it years later.I also talk openly about starting therapy on a whim and trying EMDR for the first time. If you’ve been wondering what EMDR therapy is, how EMDR works, or whether EMDR works at all, I walk through what my session was like: the eye movements, the knee tapping, and talking to the younger version of me who was sitting on a bench filled with dread. I’m not a therapist, just sharing my experience, and the emotional charge around that memory dropped noticeably. I also answer the question I kept asking myself: do you have to be hurt to have trauma?Then we get into why I no longer buy into the idea of self-abandonment. If you’re asking how to stop abandoning yourself, how to rebuild trust with yourself, how to trust yourself again, or why you ignore your gut feeling, here’s the shift that helped me: you were doing the best you could with the skills and experience you had. Giving yourself grace is how you learn to trust yourself, not a way of letting yourself off the hook. I also share a simple pause exercise for when you feel pressured or overwhelmed, and a few ways to stop ruminating at night when your mind is running scenarios.If you want to know how to forgive yourself, why you blame yourself for everything, how to let go of anger at yourself, or how to stop being mad at yourself about something you can’t change, this conversation is a reminder that healing isn’t about never having these thoughts again. It’s about meeting them with compassion and moving forward kinder and stronger. These are the life lessons I wish someone had handed me earlier, and that’s what life in your 50s is teaching me. Whether you’re looking for life advice at 50 or just starting your own healing, I hope this feels like a hug.If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who is being hard on herself, and don’t forget to subscribe for more conversations about self-worth, healing, midlife, and life lessons in your 40s and 50s.Connect with Amy: Beacons: ⁠⁠⁠amyedwards.info⁠⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@realamyedwards⁠⁠⁠TikTok:⁠⁠⁠ @themagicbabe⁠⁠⁠Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠The Amy Edwards Show