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Stand Like Trees

Stand Like Trees

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 Drop us a line or two . . .## LONG SUMMARYIt's Halloween — and also, apparently, a Saturday wedding day, a leaf-peeping letdown, and the eve of a midterm election that has at least one of our hosts white-knuckling it. So basically: a lot going on.Queenie kicks things off trying to get the podcast's transcription software to register "TT" as two letters and not a string of tees or something far more inappropriate. Once that's sorted, we're off to the races. Queenie's heading to her niece's wedding at the Franklin Plaza in Troy — a Halloween wedding that is decidedly not a costume situation, despite Queenie's brief fantasy about sneaking in the Minkman glasses. Her husband Honey, meanwhile, is staying home to field trick-or-treaters and has been wearing the same black fleece and witch's hat for years, which somehow still works. TT's attending a pumpkin carving party with her son's friend group, possibly dressed as a butterfly, and trying to get her husband into vampire territory. Classic.The leaf peeping report is mixed. TT flew in from San Diego, looked out the window over upstate New York, and saw a lot of bare branches. Still beautiful, she notes, but not the full immersive experience. Northeast leaf peepers may need to manage their expectations.Then Queenie drops the week's first genuine wildcard: a Flipboard scroll that led her to a fully autonomous, clamp-mounted, AI-enabled, remote-controlled pleasure device for men. Two hundred dollars, rechargeable, five-star reviews, syncs to VR porn, and yes, it comes with a companion dildo so long-distance partners can share the experience in real time. The ladies are impressed, mildly horrified, and cautiously optimistic that the female-engineering pipeline will eventually deliver something comparable. No clamping confirmed, but the suction chair concept is floated.From there: the "Wait What" segment, which this week serves up a tidy little piece Queenie found via HuffPost — a rundown of things grandparents really should stop doing around their grandchildren. TT, freshly minted grandmother-to-be, is all ears. The list includes encouraging kids to keep secrets from their parents (a hard no), forcing hugs and kisses (Queenie has visceral memories of a grandfather with a bristly mustache, unfiltered cigarettes, missing teeth, and a wet face — nobody was winning there), commenting on children's bodies or weight (Queenie's granddaughter fractured her wrist being tossed around by kids making fun of her height; bodies are off-limits, full stop), speaking for grandchildren instead of letting them find their own words, and playing the "I raised three kids so I know better" card.This sparks a broader conversation about navigating the gap between how you parented and how your kids are parenting — particularly the rise of gentle parenting, which neither Queenie nor TT fully understands but which seems to involve long explanations delivered to people whose prefrontal cortexes are nowhere near online. Queenie makes the sharp observation that highly verbal kids can fool you into forgetting you're talking to a four-year-old, and that mistaking verbal sophistication for emotional or developmental maturity is its own kind of harm. The practical advice: if you think your kid is struggling, offer to take the grandkids so they can get a dinner and a massage. Slide the message in sideways.TT picks number 99 for this week's "What If" question — and it's a banger: *If you were given the opportunity to know the complete, unfiltered truth about yourself — your motivations, hypocrisies, hidden desires, the ways you've hurt people without realizing it — but you could never again believe the comforting stories you tell yourself, would you choose to know?* Both women answer almost immediately: yes. No hesitation. TT says she'd use it to cause less harm going forward and would atone where it felt right — not for her own benefit, but for the people she'd hurt. Queenie says she'd dig into all of it, then wonders aloud what the protocol is for actually doing something with that information once you have it. They agree that not everyone would choose this — some people are conflict-avoiders for whom comfort is the whole point — and that for both of them, it was basically a no-brainer. Which itself feels like information.Then: the Fuck It List. Queenie has a live, real-world entry this week. She's been working as an independent contractor with an organization that recently brought in a new manager who promptly started inserting herself into Queenie's client communications — without context, without introduction, scheduling duplicate meetings in the wrong time zones, and responding to client emails about ongoing issues without looping Queenie in. After one too many backtracking sessions at eight o'clock at night, Queenie sent a clean, professional, fluff-free email informing the organization she wouldn't be taking any new assignments. She CC'd the new manager. The new ...
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