Butch lesbians were once punished for being too visible. Now the internet claims they’re disappearing. So what happened?

We’re investigating the so-called “masc shortage” with lesbian studies professor Dr. Tori Smith and masc lesbian coach Raia Carey. Are masc lesbians actually disappearing, or are dating expectations, changing identities, and decades of lesbian erasure shaping who gets seen? From butch and stud history to transmasculine identities, lesbophobia, and the lack of masculine lesbian representation in mainstream media, we’re unpacking why this dating complaint goes WAY deeper than you’d expect.

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0:00 Where Did All the Masc Lesbians Go?
0:47 What Does It Mean to Be Butch, Stud, Transmasculine & Masc?
6:46 Reclaiming “Dyke”: Empowering or Painful?
10:29 Are We Actually in a Masc Shortage?
11:51 What Kind of Masc Are You Actually Looking For?
13:35 The “Butch Flight” Panic: Why Trans Men Got Blamed
23:29 Are Transmasc People Welcome in Lesbian Spaces?
28:23 The Visible Lesbian: Creation & Criminalization of the Butch
30:13 When Dressing Butch Could Get You Arrested
32:55 The Shared History of Lesbians and Trans People
39:10 Why Patriarchy Fears Masculine Lesbians
42:14 How Lesbophobia Still Shows Up Today
53:27 Code-Switching for Safety as a Black Masc Lesbian
1:00:56 The Paradox of Butch Invisibility
1:03:36 Why TV Keeps Softening Butch Lesbians
1:06:28 The Fight for Butch Representation

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After six years together, living together, building a business and opening our relationship, we broke up… and somehow stayed friends. Two years later, we’re finally unpacking what that actually took. With psychotherapist Jennifer Hanson, we get into why queer people keep their exes so close, when friendship is worth fighting for, when it keeps you stuck, jealousy, new partners, no-contact, boundaries, and the messy process of learning to love someone differently.

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00:00 We Dated for 6 Years… Now We’re Friends
01:44 Why Queer People Stay Friends With Their Exes
05:00 Should You Actually Stay Friends With Your Ex?
08:59 When Is an Ex Worth Keeping in Your Life?
11:45 When You Should NEVER Stay Friends With an Ex
12:10 What If Your Ex Doesn’t Want to Be Friends?
18:18 How Do You Actually Become Friends With an Ex?
19:57 The Boundaries You Need After a Breakup
23:58 Why Am I Jealous If I Don’t Want Them Back?
29:00 Are Non-Monogamous People Better at Breakups?
38:11 Sharing Friends When Your Ex Starts Dating Again
48:17 Do You Need No Contact After a Breakup?
52:30 How We Broke Up While Still Living Together
55:05 The Problem With Hoping You’ll Get Back Together
57:13 Should You EVER Hook Up With an Ex?

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Why do trans and gender-nonconforming people keep showing up suspiciously close to gods, prophecy and ancient religion? With trans historian Sophie Edwards, we follow a wildly gay historical trail through the ancient mediterranean to ask why people crossing gender boundaries were so often imagined as closer to the divine.

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0:00 Why Were Trans People So Close to the Divine?
1:00 Can We Call Ancient People Trans?
2:22 The Enarees: Trans Diviners Trusted by Kings
8:30 Why Was Gender-Crossing Linked to Prophecy?
11:50 The Galli: Rome’s Trans Feminine Priestesses
16:20 Ancient Gender-Affirming Care & the Day of Blood
23:15 How Did Ancient Rome Treat the Galli?
28:49 Where Did the Galli Go?
30:40 The Trans Saints of Early Christianity
31:55 Saint Pelagius: The Trans Saint & Former Sex Worker
42:42 Saint Marinos: Exiled Rather Than Out Himself
51:06 Is Transness Connected to the Divine?
54:15 Tiresias: Gender-Crossing, Gods & Prophecy
59:03 The Mystery of the Bearded Venus
1:04:37 We Have Always Existed

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