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Not all narcissism is easy to recognize. While some individuals display obvious arrogance, entitlement, or a need for attention, others express narcissistic traits in quieter, more subtle ways that can be just as confusing and emotionally painful for those around them.

In this follow-up to our previous episode on narcissism, we take a closer look at covert narcissism—what it is, how it differs from more recognizable narcissistic behaviors, and how it can affect marriages, families, friendships, and other close relationships.

We'll explore common patterns such as emotional manipulation, passive-aggressive behavior, hypersensitivity to criticism, playing the victim, and the subtle ways someone may shift blame or avoid responsibility. Through relatable, everyday examples, we'll discuss why these behaviors can be difficult to recognize and how they may leave others questioning their feelings, perceptions, and even their sense of self-worth.

More importantly, we'll talk about the importance of recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns, establishing healthy boundaries, and understanding what genuine emotional intimacy and mutual respect should look like.

Our goal isn't to encourage listeners to label or diagnose others, but to build understanding, awareness, and practical insight into behaviors that can quietly damage relationships.

This episode is a little longer than usual because the subject is important and complex. We encourage you to listen at your own pace, take a break if needed, and return when you're ready.

Join us for this important conversation on NorthPoint Counseling Perspective, where we explore the challenges people face in life and relationships with compassion, understanding, and practical guidance.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:

• A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
• Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal
• DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets
• SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural, or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives
• Healthy Parenting: Preparing the Next Generation
• God, Are You Real? The Creation of the Universe
• Truth On Trial - The Court of Public Opinion
• Living Beyond the Noise: Finding Clarity in a World That Won't Be Quiet (late 2026)

Available at all major book retailers

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God, Are You Real? Why It Matters to Know What We Believe

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself not just what you believe about God, but why you believe it?

That's a question I've spent considerable time thinking about, and it's one of the personal motivations behind writing my newest book, God, Are You Real?

As a Christian, I believe in God. But I've come to recognize that there's an important difference between believing something and understanding why we believe it.

Think about it. Many of our beliefs began forming long before we were old enough to question them. Perhaps you grew up in a Christian home where believing in God was simply part of everyday life. You attended church, listened to Bible stories, and accepted what you were taught. Or perhaps you grew up in a home where faith was rarely discussed, where religion was viewed with skepticism, or where the idea of God seemed unnecessary.

For others, personal experiences have played a significant role. Maybe you've witnessed hypocrisy among people who claimed to be Christians. Perhaps you've experienced suffering, disappointment, or unanswered prayers that caused you to question whether God really exists.

Whatever our experiences, they can have a powerful influence on what we believe today.

But here's the question I believe we should all be willing to ask: Just because we've believed something for much of our lives, does that necessarily make it true?

And the opposite is equally important. Just because we've rejected a belief because of painful experiences, disappointment, or others' actions, does that necessarily make it false?

I believe understanding why we believe what we believe matters because our beliefs influence how we see ourselves, how we understand the world, how we make decisions, and ultimately, how we live our lives.

If our beliefs are important enough to shape the direction of our lives, shouldn't they also be important enough to examine?

That's what personally motivated me to write God, Are You Real?

In this episode of NorthPoint Counseling Perspective, I'll give you a personal preview of my new book, including the questions that inspired me to write it and the fascinating subjects we'll explore, from the beginning of the universe to the historical reliability of the Bible.

Whether you're a Christian, atheist, agnostic, or someone who remains uncertain about God, my invitation is the same:

Be willing to ask questions.

Be willing to examine the evidence.

And be willing to consider whether what you've always believed is supported by good reasons.

I'm not suggesting everyone who asks these questions will reach the same conclusions. Clearly, people have wrestled with the existence of God for centuries and reached very different answers.

But I believe there's tremendous value in understanding not only what we believe, but how we arrived at those beliefs and whether they can stand up to thoughtful examination.

Because when it comes to a question as important as whether God exists, I believe we owe it to ourselves to do more than simply accept—or reject—what we've been told. We owe it to ourselves to understand why.

I'm John Sternfels, author, counselor, and host of NorthPoint Counseling Perspective. Thank you for joining me, and I hope this conversation encourages you to know why you believe what you believe.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:

• A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
• Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal
• DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets
• SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural, or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives
• Healthy Parenting: Preparing the Next Generation
• God, Are You Real? The Creation of the Universe
• Truth On Trial - The Court of Public Opinion
• Living Beyond the Noise: Finding Clarity in a World That Won't Be Quiet (late 2026)

Available at all major book retailers

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Is someone in your life a narcissist, or are they simply displaying selfish behaviors? How can you tell the difference?

The term narcissism is used frequently today, but what does it really mean? And how do narcissistic traits affect the people closest to us?

In this episode of NorthPoint Counseling Perspective, John Sternfels, National Board-Certified Counselor, takes a closer look at narcissism, explaining the difference between everyday selfishness, narcissistic traits, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Using everyday language and relatable examples, John explores how narcissism can develop, how it shows up in conversations and conflicts, and why certain behaviors can leave others feeling confused, emotionally exhausted, or questioning their own reality.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• What narcissism is and what it isn't.
• The difference between narcissistic traits and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
• How childhood experiences and family dynamics may contribute to narcissistic patterns.
• How narcissism can affect communication, empathy, accountability, and emotional intimacy.
• Why recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns is more important than labeling someone.
• When seeking professional guidance may be helpful.

Understanding narcissism isn't about labeling people. It's about recognizing behaviors, understanding their impact, and developing healthier relationships.

Whether you're concerned about someone in your life, struggling in a difficult relationship, or simply wanting to better understand human behavior, this episode offers valuable insights.

Join John Sternfels for another informative episode of NorthPoint Counseling Perspective.

If you find this episode helpful, please share it with someone who may benefit, and consider leaving a review to help others discover the podcast.

Disclaimer: This episode is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Only a qualified mental health professional can diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASI
Owner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling
Counselor and Author

Books Available:

• A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing
• Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal
• DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets
• SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural, or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives
• Healthy Parenting: Preparing the Next Generation
• God, Are You Real? The Creation of the Universe
• Truth On Trial - The Court of Public Opinion
• Living Beyond the Noise: Finding Clarity in a World That Won't Be Quiet (late 2026)

Available at all major book retailers