Fresh or frozen? It sounds like a logistics question. It's not.

Richard gets asked this constantly, and the answer almost always depends on something the clinic never asked first: what do you actually want your family to look like?

In this episode Richard and Julio work through one of the most misunderstood decisions in an IVF or surrogacy journey. Why frozen embryos became the clinical default. What the attrition math actually looks like from egg to euploid embryo. Why egg freezing is not the insurance policy most people think it is. What a good clinic asks you before it tells you anything. And what it means when it doesn't.

Richard has helped over 500 families navigate fertility journeys. For him it's statistics. For you it's binary. This episode is the gap between those two things, made legible.

Not medical advice. Richard says that himself.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Why this question came up this morning02:51 What actually happens when you freeze an egg05:49 Why frozen embryos became the default08:42 Two sperm sources, two kids: what the math looks like11:32 What egg banks are and how a "lot of eight" works14:24 The red flag your clinic might be showing you right now17:16 Why egg freezing is not a guarantee, even in your twenties20:10 You are binary. I'm a statistic.

KEYWORDS

IVF fresh vs frozen, donor eggs frozen embryos, egg freezing success rate, embryo banking explained, PGTA testing embryos, IVF surrogacy logistics, two dads IVF, LGBTQ family building, egg donor cycle, euploid embryo, vitrification IVF, IVF clinic red flags, intended parents guide, fresh donor egg cycle, frozen egg bank

Before you sit down with your doctor and they start talking about genetic testing, there is a conversation that should happen first. Richard has it with hundreds of patients every year. This is that conversation.

Richard Westoby works with intended parents every day before they see their doctor. Pre-implantation genetic testing is one of the first things that comes up and also one of the things people feel least prepared for when the appointment actually happens.

In this episode Julio and Richard walk through what PGT actually is, the different types, what each one looks for, what it costs, and how to think about whether it makes sense for your journey. Including why Richard did not do it himself when he had his kids, why nothing is ever one hundred percent even after testing, and what the new generation of polygenic testing means for families making these decisions today.

This is not medical advice. This is the conversation that helps you walk into the medical advice ready.

IVF, PGT, pre-implantation genetic testing, embryo testing, surrogacy, gay dads, intended parents, egg donation, fertility, IVF costs, embryo screening, sex selection, genetic testing IVF, surrogacy journey, LGBTQ family, IVF explained, fertility podcast, gay parents, family building, IVF add-ons

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to PGTs

02:27 Understanding PGT Types

05:37 The Role of PGT in IVF

09:05 Ethical Considerations of Gender Selection

11:42 Exploring PGT-M and PGT-SR

16:01 The Future of PGT: PGTP

22:54 The Emotional Impact of PGT Testing

SPOTIFY DESCRIPTION

You've done the research. You've read the blogs. But there's a specific moment in the IVF journey that almost every gay man gets blindsided by and it's not the one you think.

Dr. Michael Gornaccia of New England Fertility Institute has spent over 30 years helping LGBTQ families build through surrogacy, egg donation, and IVF. In this episode, he walks through the real timeline, the part of the process that costs the most time, what the 2am anxiety is actually about, and why one in-person visit to Connecticut might be the only thing standing between you and your embryos.

If you're building your family from abroad, EU, UK, Asia, this one's for you.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction: who is Dr. G?01:03 The first thing your doctor needs to know before anything else03:18 HIV-positive fathers: the Beacon Institute process explained06:25 The male screening visit: what happens and why you cannot skip it09:29 Egg donation: clinic bank vs. private agency, real difference in timing13:01 When both partners want to use their genetics17:21 Second cycles: not uncommon, not the end20:25 The 2am anxiety moment everyone experiences and nobody warns you about22:18 What surprises patients most and why internet stats will gaslight you26:18 LGBTQ families vs. heterosexual couples: the grief nobody talks about30:06 HIV-positive dads: what to know if you are scared to ask31:04 Adoption as a valid path: patient autonomy in practice31:50 Final advice: the one thing to do when you are up at midnight

New England Fertility Institute: https://www.nefertility.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nefertility/Men Having Babies: menhavingbabies.orgBeacon Institute (HIV sperm processing)

"The biggest time factor in this whole journey isn't the medical process. It's finding a surrogate." Dr. Michael Gornaccia, New England Fertility Institute

"A lot of LGBTQ patients tell me: I never thought when I was growing up that I'd be able to have a family. That grief is real, even when everything is going well." Dr. Michael Gornaccia, New England Fertility Institute

"The two-and-a-half week wait while we test the embryos. That's when everyone panics. Every single patient. And it's completely normal." Dr. Michael Gornaccia, New England Fertility Institute

"In IVF, women go through hormones and medication. Men go through paperwork and waiting." Julio, IVF Daddies

Candy Crash spent 25 years believing she was not allowed to want a family. Ten weeks ago, she became a dad.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Parenthood Journey

01:16 The Emotional Growth of Becoming a Parent

03:21 Experiences as an Au Pair and Changing Perspectives

05:02 Support Systems in Same-Sex Parenting

09:31 Balancing Organization and Creativity in Parenting

13:38 Trusting Professionals in the Surrogacy Process

16:34 The Role of the Surrogate and Building Relationships

20:34 Navigating the Surrogacy Process

23:19 Patience and Emotional Challenges in Surrogacy

25:44 Public Life and Private Struggles

28:20 Positivity in the Face of Adversity

30:46 Education Through Visibility and Love

32:57 Conclusion and Hope for Future Parents

Candy Crash spent 25 years believing she was not allowed to want a family. Ten weeks ago, she became a dad.

One of Germany's biggest drag queens, a graphic designer, a YouTuber, and now a parent through surrogacy in the US, Candy joins Julio and Richard for one of the most honest conversations this podcast has ever had about what the surrogacy journey actually feels like from the inside.

Not the process. The feeling. The waiting. The grief of finding out one embryo took instead of two. The surrogate who was shy on the first call and offered to carry again before the baby was even born. The moment you realize the most important project of your life depends entirely on trusting people you have never met.

Candy also talks about going public on social media as a queer parent, why she fights hate with education instead of anger, and the messages she gets from strangers who watched her journey and quietly changed their minds.

If you have ever wondered whether a family like this is possible for someone like you, this episode is the answer.

Guest: Candy Crash, drag queen, content creator, Hollywood Mom podcast host, and new dad.Instagram: @thecandycrashPodcast: Hollywood Mom on Spotify

Keywords: surrogacy, gay dads, queer parenting, LGBTQ family, surrogacy journey, drag queen, intended parents, IVF, trust, visibility, queer family, same sex parents, surrogacy process, gay surrogacy, becoming a dad

Most people start this journey knowing the cost. Nobody warns them about everything else.

Katy Encalade has been a surrogate herself. Now she runs one of the most respected egg donation and surrogacy agencies in the US. This conversation is the one most intended parents wish they had before they started.

What you will actually hear in this episode:

Why two years is the real timeline and why anyone who tells you less is setting you up to fail.

Why an agency that says they have plenty of surrogates available should make you stop and ask harder questions.

Why obsessing over genetics in your egg donor search might mean you are missing the question that actually determines your outcome.

Why the match matters more than the speed. Every time.

Why the families who struggle most are the ones who were told what they wanted to hear.

This is not a hope conversation. This is a preparation conversation.

If you are at the beginning of this journey or stuck somewhere in the middle, this episode gives you language for what you are actually going through.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction

02:58 Understanding the Egg Donation Process

05:38 Navigating the Surrogacy Journey

08:33 The Importance of Patience

11:29 Matching with Egg Donors and Surrogates

14:15 Financial Aspects of Surrogacy

16:50 Red Flags and Green Flags in Agencies

19:21 Feeling Alone in the Journey

22:01 Simplifying the Process

CONNECT WITH KATY ENCALADE

Website: https://createahappyfamily.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createahappyfamily

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/katyencalade

Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

The legal ground under surrogacy is shifting. For once it is shifting in your favor.

If you are LGBTQ+ and you have been quietly terrified about what this administration means for your family, this is the episode that answers it directly. No vague reassurances. No spin. Just a fertility attorney with 15 years in reproductive law telling you exactly where you stand.

What this episode covers:

Michigan just passed surrogacy legislation. Here is what it actually does.

Why a court ordered judgment protects your parental rights in ways a birth record cannot.

Why California is about to raise the standard for every other state.

Can you get a California court order and use it in Arizona. The answer will surprise you.

Once you have a judgment, nobody can take it away. Here is the constitutional reason why.

Why LGBTQ+ parents specifically need a judgment not just a birth record.

Whether the federal government can roll back your parental rights. Brian explains why the answer is no.

This is the episode you forward to the person who just asked you: is this still safe to do?

The answer is yes. After this episode you will know exactly why.

CHAPTERS

00:00 The Headlines Are Wrong: The Positive Legal Changes Nobody Is Talking About

02:08 Michigan Just Changed Everything: What the New Law Actually Does

02:59 Meet Brian: 15 Years in Fertility Law

04:36 Can You Get a California Court Order and Use It in Arizona

06:04 Why LGBTQ+ Parents Need a Judgment Not Just a Birth Record

07:02 Will the Federal Government Roll Back Your Parental Rights

07:51 Once You Have a Judgment Nobody Can Take It Away

08:12 The Constitutional Principle That Protects You Across State Lines

09:30 Is the Surrogate Ever on the Birth Certificate

10:37 What California Collects and Why It Never Appears on Your Child's Record

11:55 Michigan Birth Certificates: What Comes Next

Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

Your embryo grade is not what you think it is.

Embryologist Emanuela Molinari has spent her career inside the lab watching families make critical decisions based on information they do not fully understand. This episode fixes that.

What you will actually learn:

Why two clinics can look at the same embryo and give you completely different grades.

Why a perfect grade does not guarantee a pregnancy and a low grade does not mean failure.

Why sperm is half of this equation and why almost nobody is testing it properly.

What DNA fragmentation is, why it matters, and when to test for it.

Why some clinics still transfer on day 3 and what that decision is really based on.

What blastocyst development actually tells you versus what clinics imply it tells you.

What PGT genetic testing is genuinely useful for and what it cannot do.

How age affects chromosome errors in ways that grading will never show you.

If you are going through IVF, just starting, or trying to understand results that don't make sense, this episode gives you the questions your clinic is not asking you to ask.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Why embryo grading confuses people

02:30 What you are actually seeing in an embryo

05:30 Why grading is subjective

09:00 The role of sperm in IVF

13:00 DNA fragmentation explained

17:00 What blastocyst development really means

21:00 Day 3 vs Day 5 transfer

25:00 Genetic testing without the hype

30:00 Age and embryo viability

35:00 What patients should actually focus on

CONNECT WITH EMANUELA MOLINARI

Website: https://eggstraordinaryembryo.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eggstraordinary_embryo

Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

Everyone talks about the embryos. Nobody talks about what happens to the relationship.

IVF puts a number on your family. Success rates. Grades. Transfer windows. And somewhere inside all of that data, the relationship that started this entire journey is quietly breaking under the pressure nobody warned you about.

Julio and Richard go there in this episode. Fully.

What this episode covers:

Why IVF clinics are excellent at the medical side and almost useless on the emotional side.

Why frozen embryos create a decision that no couple is ever prepared to make together.

Why the moment you realize biology is not cooperating with the life you planned is one of the loneliest moments a person can experience.

Why younger LGBTQ couples are becoming parents earlier while straight couples are starting later and what that tension reveals about modern family building.

Why having a baby does not fix a relationship. And why IVF pressure can expose everything that was already fragile.

When to keep trying. When to change the plan. And how you know the difference.

This is not the glossy brochure version of IVF.

This is what it actually does to the people going through it.

TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE

IVF success rates and embryo reality

Surrogacy and donor egg decisions

LGBTQ family building

The emotional impact of IVF on relationships

Why IVF clinics rarely address relationship psychology

Older parents versus younger parents

The grief of the family you imagined

Why having a baby does not fix a relationship

Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.