In this episode, I talk about the complicated grief that can exist inside loving relationships. I reflect on my relationship with my oldest daughter and the pain of feeling resistance toward my new life, my partner, and the choices I’ve made.

I share what it’s been like to sit with misunderstanding, judgment, and emotional distance while still holding deep love and hope. This episode isn’t about blame or answers — it’s about processing loss, longing, and the belief that love, given time, can soften even the hardest edges.

This is a reflection on parenting adult children, navigating change, and choosing love even when connection feels out of reach.

In this episode, I talk about my lifelong love for cats — from childhood collections of cat trinkets and small, altar-like spaces, to always wanting a cat but never being able to have one because of allergies within my family.

I reflect on the animals I was able to have, including small dogs and the experience of caring for a disabled rabbit, and how animals have always felt spiritually significant in my life. I share what it was like to lose a dog, move through grief, and slowly release expectations about adopting another one after relocating to a new place.

Then, when I least expected it, a cat appeared.

This episode is about longing, loss, spiritual companionship, and what can unfold when you stop forcing outcomes and allow life — or the universe — to meet you in its own time.

I’m sitting in my apartment, realizing how strange it feels to look around and ask myself: how did I get here?

In this first entry, I talk about my childhood, my early spiritual curiosity, my first marriage, and the years I spent feeling deeply alone without knowing why. I share how what I thought was depression and anxiety were actually autistic meltdowns, and how loving my children didn’t make the world feel any less overwhelming.

This is the beginning of Across the Ocean, Inside My Head — a spoken journal told without polish, answers, or hindsight. Just the truth as I understand it now.