Listen free for 30 days

Listen with offer

  • You’re Not Listening

  • What You’re Missing and Why It Matters
  • By: Kate Murphy
  • Narrated by: Kate Murphy
  • Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (246 ratings)
Offer ends May 1st, 2024 11:59PM GMT. Terms and conditions apply.
£7.99/month after 3 months. Renews automatically.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
You’re Not Listening cover art

You’re Not Listening

By: Kate Murphy
Narrated by: Kate Murphy
Get this deal Try for £0.00

Pay £99p/month. After 3 months pay £7.99/month. Renews automatically. See terms for eligibility.

£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £12.99

Buy Now for £12.99

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Listeners also enjoyed...

How to Listen cover art
Active Listening Techniques cover art
Nonviolent Communication cover art
Just Listen cover art
Made to Stick cover art
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People cover art
Outspoken cover art
Time to Think cover art
How to Spot a Liar cover art
Improve Your Conversations cover art
How to Be Yourself cover art
Becoming Bulletproof cover art
Improve Your People Skills: Build and Manage Relationships, Communicate Effectively, Understand Others, and Become the Ultimate People Person cover art
Let's Talk cover art
Communication Skills Training Series: 7 Books in 1 cover art
Mindfulness cover art

Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?

This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever

As a society, we’ve forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively – even to those we love most. We’ve become scared of other people’s points of view, and of silence.

Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others.

Listening is about curiosity and patience – about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected. 

When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.

©2020 Kate Murphy (P)2020 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

The premise of this book couldn't be more timely... inspiringly profound… Smart and playful... It feels like a reiteration of something essential... Murphy is here to remind us – entertainingly and compellingly – exactly why it matters so much, especially right now. Hear, hear. (Viv Groskop)
Gripping from start to finish... brilliant…extraordinarily interesting…full of meat and gold. (Chris Evans)
Fiercely topical... You're Not Listening is an intriguing and constructive take on the problem... and a manual for better communication. Murphy’s book is intelligent and thought-provoking… Listening is when someone take a real interest in who you are…a moment of attunement and understanding that sticks in both heads. We could all do with some of that. (Melanie Reid)

What listeners say about You’re Not Listening

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    144
  • 4 Stars
    66
  • 3 Stars
    19
  • 2 Stars
    10
  • 1 Stars
    7
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    124
  • 4 Stars
    52
  • 3 Stars
    13
  • 2 Stars
    8
  • 1 Stars
    5
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    122
  • 4 Stars
    46
  • 3 Stars
    19
  • 2 Stars
    8
  • 1 Stars
    8

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

waist of time

One of the worst books I've ever read. The entire book can be summarized by two words: listen more.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

15 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Learning to listen

The beginning and end of this book were interesting and I think I’ve learnt something from it. Overall I found it very hard to listen to this book, not a good start for learning to listen! It has taken me several weeks and I had to push myself to get to the end. Saying that, I feel that I am improving my listening skills, and have learnt to ask and listen to replies.
I feel a bit unfair only giving it three if I have learnt something, but that’s an honest review.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

nothing profound nor new

These are interesting points but not new. Basically it's a lament for listening. Listening is good and people like to be listened. If you need to hear an argument for it, this book provides one. If you already think so, it doesn't add much.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars

A very long essay on why listening is important

It's nice to be reminded on why listening is so important and to think about all aspects personal and societal that are affected by it. I was hoping for more practical information, but that is not to be found here.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

eye opening content

Great content, but the interpretation is not really to my taste (too much pathos, sorry Kate Murphy)
I am also not very keen on the judginess she casts on today's society (even though i understand the reasoning behind, it still leaves the vibe that the author sees herself somehow morally superior)

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

LISTEN UP, it helps

Got this book without much thought. One of the best books I’ve ever listened too. Really good information, strategies and advice. Helps with personal and professional situations. Would highly recommend!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Listening to This Book Will Change You

This may well be the most usefull book you will ever pick up, it is well written, read, structured and easy to listen to.

The author has put together and narrated theory, story and practical advice with easy making this an enjoyable read from cover to cover.

Do yourself and those around you a favour and simply listen to this book and apply the life changing advice within.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

great

enjoyable and interesting. motivated to be a better listener! need 6 more words for the review.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Brilliant

A great collation of many works, focussing on a modern, practical and easy to implement set of strategies to improve listening skills.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Informative

Enjoyed this book. It was informative and covered a few different angles about listening and how it fits under the umbrella of communication. I think it lacked a bit of punch and wow factor.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!