Episodes

By the time TV presenter Davina McCall was 23 years old, she was addicted to heroin. Now she’s been clean for 27 years. In this show, Kelly hears about the pain and shame of addiction and the work that Davina did to rebuild her life.

Davina is well known for her confidence and positivity but at her lowest point she struggled to even look at herself in the mirror. Kelly and Davina both find exercise essential to their wellbeing, so they meet at their local fitness club after an intensive early morning spin class.

Journalist and former spin-doctor, Alastair Campbell, was Tony Blair’s right hand man. He opens up to Kelly about his experience of an alcohol-induced psychotic episode, and explains how his late brother’s schizophrenia motivated him to speak publicly about the importance of mental health. He invites Kelly into his home to show her how he relaxes - by playing the bagpipes in his bathroom.

Comedian Catherine Bohart was hospitalised for months in her early twenties whilst she underwent a life-saving treatment programme for OCD and Body Dysmorphia. She couldn’t imagine living to age 30.

As Catherine tells Kelly, there’s much more to OCD than handwashing and germ-phobia. Together, they put on their aprons and get the sprinkles out to decorate some cupcakes. For Catherine, baking is a therapeutic activity and a rare chance to escape from thoughts of perfectionism and anxiety.

One day, back in the 1980s, His Dark Materials writer Philip Pullman woke up and couldn’t stop crying. It came like a bolt from the blue and lasted several months.

In this episode, Kelly Holmes joins the renowned author at home in his library to hear about this episode of depression that occured in Philip’s early twenties. He describes the three things that helped him to recover and reads Kelly an extract from one of his favourite books - a nearly 400-year old work of Robert Burton’s entitled The Anatomy of Melancholy.

Musician Amanda Palmer is a brutally honest performer, songwriter and blogger. In this episode Amanda invites Kelly to do a yoga class with her and to share other ways that she has learned to deal with several traumatic moments in her life - including the abortion of three pregnancies. She’s candid about the lowest moments in her life and the ongoing struggles that she faces.

Dr David Crepaz-Keay meets Kelly in the studio to give more information about the impact of trauma, and to describe how post-traumatic stress disorder can be identified.

The impressionist and comedian Rory Bremner is a household name. He’s been at the top of his profession for decades and regularly performs in front of sell out crowds. But he constantly feels like he’s failing. In his 50s, he was diagnosed with ADHD. It’s had a huge impact on his personal life, his career and his confidence – both good and bad.

Eddie Izzard is an internationally renowned comedian, writer, director and actor. He’s a political activist, he can fly a plane and he’s run too many marathons to mention. In this show, Kelly finds out what’s behind this strength of character.

Eddie takes Kelly for an energetic walk up to a church on top of a hill in Penarth, Wales. In an emotional conversation, looking out across Cardiff Bay, Eddie and Kelly talk about grief: Eddie is still deeply affected by his mother dying when he was only 6 years old and Kelly has found it incredibly difficult to cope since her own mother died a year ago.

Every night, Felicity Ward goes to sleep with an eye mask, earplugs and a mouthguard. She’s tried special sprays, herbal remedies and mindfulness apps. But insomnia is a difficult condition to tackle.

In this episode, Kelly Holmes meets Felicity Ward on the banks of a pond in Hampstead Heath, London, moments before Felicity dives in for a cold-water swim. Once she’s out and dry again, Felicity sits down with Kelly to talk about how she’s learning to cope with serious mental health conditions - including frequent insomnia - through exercise and therapy.