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The Secure Self

How to Free Yourself from Anxious Attachment and Transform Your Relationships from Within

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The Secure Self

Yazan: Stephanie Rigg
Seslendiren: Stephanie Rigg
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Heal the unhealthy patterns of an anxious attachment style by rebuilding your most essential relationship—with yourself—in this guide from the host of the world’s leading attachment theory podcast.

Relationship anxiety doesn’t only surface during conflict. It lives in the waiting, the monitoring, the second-guessing, and the deep exhaustion of longing to feel safe with another person. For those with anxious attachment patterns, connection can feel fragile—something that must be continually earned through reassurance, proximity, or effort.

In The Secure Self, Stephanie Rigg, a relationship coach and host of the world’s leading attachment podcast, On Attachment, offers readers a different path: one that leads not toward fixing their relationships, but toward first building something more foundational—a secure relationship with yourself. Drawing on years of guiding thousands of clients and students, as well as her own lived experience of anxious attachment, she reframes this attachment style not as a flaw, but as a pattern rooted in a deeply human need for connection—one that, once understood, can begin to shift towards something steadier and more secure.

Throughout the book, readers are guided to:

  • Understand how anxious attachment fuels overthinking, hypervigilance, people-pleasing, and emotional reactivity
  • Build internal safety through self-compassion, nervous system regulation, healthy boundaries, and self-trust
  • Navigate dating, relationships, and breakups with greater confidence, clarity, and self-respect
  • Create healthier, more balanced relationships from a grounded sense of self rather than fear

Grounded, compassionate, and deeply practical, The Secure Self invites you to stop looking outward for the security you’ve always longed for and to start building it from within—so that love becomes something that expands rather than completes you. Anxiety Disorders Love, Dating & Attraction Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Mental Health Personal Development Psychology & Mental Health Relationships
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Eleştirmen yorumları

“The Secure Self will help readers understand why they cling, chase, and over-give in relationships, and, more importantly, what to do instead. Stephanie Rigg brings warmth and real-world practicality to one of the most painful patterns people live with.”
— Dr. Scott Lyons, founder of The Embody Lab

“A warm, wise and deeply practical guide for anyone who has ever lost themselves trying to feel safe in love. Stephanie weaves research, client stories, and her own honest journey into simple, doable steps that help readers come home to themselves and build the steady foundation every relationship needs.”
— Lael Stone, author of Own Your Story host of the Humans, being. podcast

“Stephanie is a rare voice of relational clarity and wisdom in a sea of polarizing pop-psychology perspectives. She deeply understands and champions the profound human longing for connection and safety. These pages offer us both power and peace in navigating our deepest relational hurts and fears.”
— James “Fish” Gill, Heart Coach and author of How to Fall in Love with Humanity
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