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Summary

Do you frequently say 'yes' to people and events to keep those around you happy?

Do you often find yourself emotionally exhausted and physically drained?

Do people describe you as a pushover or 'too nice'?

It's time to discover the joy of being selfish and reclaim your life through the art of boundaries!

Life coach and influencer @scarrednotscared Michelle Elman is here to teach you the practical side of self-love. Creating and upholding strong boundaries will teach others how to treat you, rid your life of drama and toxic relationships and allow you to love yourself and others in the best way you can.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2021 Michelle Elman (P)2021 Audible, Ltd

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    2 out of 5 stars
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didnt clarify its a feminist book

It is directed towards females only..for some reason which is frustrating because we all have the same problems. I wouldnt have bought it if i knew it was aimed only at one gender.

12 people found this helpful

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Or 'How To Be a Difficult Narcissist'.

The majority of advice in this book seems directed towards a female audience of people who have never had any boundaries, and wouldn't know where to start with getting them. However, if you take this book to its conclusion, you risk becoming uncompromisingly demanding and a trifle over-sensitive -- so, if slowly pushing people away is your bag, then go ahead and alienate yourself.

Look, I get it that you've been a pushover in the past, and yes it may be useful to work on how you deal with people and become a bit more selective -- but in the words of John Donne, 'No Man is an Island' [or woman] and as such it isn't all about you or how your self-absorbed feelings have been hurt.

There's an important difference, of course, between responding appropriately to bad treatment, and demanding the world bends to your every entitled whim -- but the lines in this seem to get somewhat blurred.

This book does have some useful advice, but it's intertwined with a lot of bad advice that borders on encouraging narcissism and anti-social behaviour -- and having checked out the writer's background, I've concluded she's a tad unhappy and overly guarded as a consequence of a bad past; like someone who spent too much time in CODA (Co-dependents Anonymous) and has subsequently ended up with more boundaries than a political map of Europe, and no ability to work with social conventions.

My own life experience (I'm twice her age) has shown me how people with too many boundaries eventually come crashing off their self-appointed pedestals with a bump, and end up needing to do even more healing as a result.

Of course it should not matter if people like you or not, and being liked should not be a motivation for your behaviour -- but when your friends start to turn away from you, then you may need to question why that is.

My final thoughts, therefore, are to be careful, consider that this girl is only in her twenties, without the significant life experience needed to offer sound advice for everyone -- so, take what you can if it resonates, but also give yourself permission to leave the rest behind.

8 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars

Dangerous book from a damaged person

While there are many good things about this book, unfortunately the advice on dependence by someone who is so clearly still exploring and going through the journey themself makes for confused and infuriating reading. The idea of only being able to depend on yourself is JUST as damaging as the idea that you don't have strong enough boundaries.

8 people found this helpful

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Boring

Very boring posh waffle didn’t relate to the average person .
I think this book is aimed at a certain demographic.
Sorry

1 person found this helpful

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so many life tips

wish I listened to this sooner, recommend this to people who are too nice and forget about their own needs.

1 person found this helpful

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read the book and wanted the audio too

listening to this on my way to work to help prepare me for the day. such great practical tips on how to actually do these things instead of vague abstract ideas you'd normally hear on these topics. thank you Michelle!

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Clear, powerful, necessary

Clear, powerful, necessary — this is a coherent text with a strong message, competently detailed and memorable.

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Life changing

This is by far the best book I have ever read in my life , truly life changing.

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so many gems

this is just what I needed. Inspiring read and done so skillfully, so many gems in this book. I surprised myself by reacting in a different way to something after a week, it was helping me to make a decision that I really wanted rather than the one that I felt was expected of me, thank you Michelle.