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The Haunted Forest Tour

Narrated by: Joe Hempel
Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
Categories: Sci-Fi & Fantasy, Horror
4 out of 5 stars (100 ratings)

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Summary

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.

Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn't even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws - you'll see them all!

Not thrilling enough? Well, it's Halloween, and so we're offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you're guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100 percent safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever. 

We promise.

©2007 James A. Moore and Jeff Strand (P)2018 Tantor

What members say

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Talk about a terrifying tour!

This book answered all my requests for a seriously scary horror. It's one of those books you can read, knowing you're at home, safe, and it doesn't really exist! I think if I'd been there, I'd have had a heart attack before anything else could happen to me! I read a reviewer on Amazon, and I totally agree. After reading the tour guide blurb on the cover, I just had to read it! I love haunted houses etc, but that is something else! There were parts which made me cry, without giving away any spoilers! I also really like Jo Hempel, the fact I think he has a nice voice aside, he is a very good narator, and he really brings this to life, and you could almost believe you were watching it all happen. Although nowa days with health and safety, I don't think this would ever happen in real life, even if such a thing existed! I asked myself before reading, would I go on this tour? Answer is, probably not, as I'm blind so wouldn't see anything, but would I even if I could? To be honest, I don't care how safe their trams are, answer is probably still no! You want a horror book which doesn't skimp on the detail, read this. It doesn't take long to get started! I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who loves horror! But don't read before sleep! Enjoy!

19 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Not a ghost story

What can I say? I enjoyed it but not really my sort of thing. My fault I should have read the synopsis. But if you are into monsters, other dimensional transference, plots of world take over then you are in for a rare treat. And what ever you don't get too attached to attached to characters!

3 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

A little corny but enjoyable

I honestly picked this one at random it sounded a little corny but I honestly enjoyed it, the narration was good. I would chalk it up to a nice simple listen.

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The Jurassic Park for horror fans

This book was very cool. So long as you think horror stories with a dark sense of humour and grizzly dememberments are cool. I do. If you like Evil Dead 2 then you'll probably enjoy this. I'm not saying Evil Dead 2 is anything like this book. only that it would have the same amount of blood and gore and probably leave you smirking wickedly from time to time. Enjoy.

1 person found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Violent to the point of numbness

I like a good gritty story with the right amount of violence and the right amount of character development, AND the right amount of monsters. But that's the thing, there's too many monsters, so many that it's hard to remember all of them and all of them are so ungodly violent to the point of absurdity that the horror is completely muted.

Now that might seem odd to say, but there is a point where the threat of violence and death happens so much that it just stops meaning anything and you just become numb, you stop caring for the characters 'cause they die too quickly to really connect with them and you stop caring about the monsters 'cause so many just get thrown in all at once that it fogs the mind and stops being scary.

There isn't enough quiet moments to really let any one emotion or any sense dread sink in which is shame. I liked the idea of this story and it had a strong start, but after 3 hours in it lost its appeal.

1 person found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Laughable!

Dreadful narrative, and fundamentally Dull !!!!!! I feel irritated as I read a positive review and went with it. Blimey that's a good hour of my life I'm never going to get back! Back to the library it goes!

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Nothing more than a very poor man’s ‘Jurasic Park’

One should always be balanced in a review, start with the positives and then finish with the negatives and after that sum up so here are the positives. it ended. End of positives. This book was drivel from start to finish. utterly implausible and Halloween? Oh please. A colaboration apparently, so why didn’t the authors colaborate? Why didn’t they compare notes so that, for instance offices didn’t suddenly become office? Plenty of blood and gor but the people did all this in one day neither getting hungry or thirsty or needing to take care of any bodily functions? You’d have to be a pretty stupid person not to see the holes in this plot. there are as many holes in the plot as there were trees in the haunted forest if you ask me.

1 person found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Untherered

Whilst the writing itself was absolutely fine and the concept of "Jurassic Park with monsters" is great, the actual story suffered from having everything thrown at it. Within 30 pages it's turned up to eleven and never dials down from there. Monsters, aliens, ghosts and creatures, everything is just launched at you in what feels like the unrestrained manner of a child leaving no room for suspense or creepiness which I would have loved to have seen more of.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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Rushed with just filler

straight into the action is sometimes fun but it felt jumbled here. and the ending was really lame and rushed

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Reasonable read, but not great.

Delighted to have recently discovered Jeff Strand. Just read Wolf hunt 1 & 2 and they were fantastic. The narration was also top class on them. 5 star. This was my third book, co written but less humour than the first two. Just bought Cyclops Road.

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  • Jason
  • 07-09-18

WOW, just WOW. Great book!!!!

Jeff Strand and James A Moore have crafted one of the most fun gore feats ever. The body count is enormous. The Monsters are very interesting and original. I liked the Harpies. This is one ride that every horror fan should take.
The action is nonstop, no rest for the wicked or the innocent. Graphic groo and blood and guts and brains and eyeballs and...so wonderfully fun.
The best part is that you really feel a connection to the characters and want them to be safe. You understand the anguish Christopher feels, you can empathize with the choices Lee makes. Just great writing.

Joe Hempel once again brings all he has for an amazing performance. There was not a single character in here that did not have a unique voice or accent or nuance to it. Amazing job!!!

24 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • T. Winter
  • 12-10-18

Right up my alley, but . . .

I know I will take a beating for this, but I don't feel like this was one of Strand's best. I usually love his books, but this one was disappointing for a number of reasons. The narration by Joe Hempel was fantastic as usual, but story wise, for me it was too much too soon. There was no suspense and no build up because everything just hit the fan right off the bat. We hardly even knew the characters before people started getting killed off in mass quantities. It was like, oh, someone else is being eaten by a monster two seconds after the last guy? Okay. In other words, no tension at all.

Character development was also comparatively bland by Strand's usual standards. There were a lot of characters here (which is good given the rate they die), but I didn't feel connected to most of them. Maybe that was intentional, to ease the disappointment at losing them? If so, I would call that part a failed experiment, because it didn't work for me.

All in all, this felt a bit like one of those late night black and white monster movies, except with 10,000 different monsters instead of one, and on speed. I guess I would still recommend you listen to it, as long as you don't expect much.

10 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Dawnde W.
  • 12-09-18

So much fun!

Whereas I was a little surprise by the overwhelming sexism... I really enjoyed this book!
I would listen to Joe Hemple read the phone book. And despite all of the monstery goodness and ripping apart of humans, there were also parts that actually made me laugh. Very entertaining, very worth the credit, very worth the time. It was like Jurassic Park on steroids.

15 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Levi
  • 24-09-18

a fun ride what can I say.

so if your intro horror movie like me you can appreciate this tale. now full disclosure there is little suspense but a lot of thrill and action. Think of aliens instead of alien.

9 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • S. Winchester
  • 10-09-18

Great roller coaster ride, satisfying ending!

I wasn't sure what to expect when I started this book. I was pleasantly surprised. Among all the gore, I found myself rooting for the characters, and anxiously awaiting their fate. Well crafted, there are not a lot of slow moments. And I felt the ending tied everything up nicely. It's a book that really holds your attention all the way through!

13 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • HappyWifeHappyLife
  • 02-10-18

Great Book

i enjoyed listening to this book. some of the names are similar so you have to pay close attention.

3 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Brynn
  • 23-05-19

Ugh

This is like a cringe inducing version of Goosebumps for adults. The writing is elementary, the storytelling is childish and dull. This sounds more like video game dialogue than actual literature.

Not Happy.

2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Amazon Customer
  • 28-09-18

fun and exciting adventure

Very creative and action packed with great twist and turns. Would turn my hair white to even see a sketch of some of the creatures. Very fun and spooky read.

5 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Roger U.
  • 20-09-18

A thrill ride from start to finish.

I loved this one and found it so engrossing I finished it in two days.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • PotterFans
  • 13-09-18

Great performance- okay story.

Performance is very good, I just lost interest about 4-5 hours in. Maybe I had high expectations for the book, maybe i imagined it was going to be more interesting. Idk. The performance is great, and the story has a strong start but somewhere along the way I just lost interest. I hate to give a bad review and since the story does start strong I gave it 3 stars, the performance I have a 5. Very well done.

5 people found this helpful