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The Emotionally Absent Mother
- How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect, Second Edition
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged Audiobook
- Categories: Health & Wellness, Psychology & Mental Health
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A narcissistic mother is one who marginalizes and competes with the child. Imagine having a mother who sees you as a competition. She is threatened by anything you do and does not hide that fact. You would think that all mothers want the best for their child. However, some mothers are too selfish to care about their offspring. The mother sees the success or independence of a child as a threat. The child is forced to live in the mother’s shadow and warned from doing anything that threatens the parent.
Summary
The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed.
Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains:
- Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful - and what she was unable to give
- The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse
- How to find the child inside you and fill the "mother gap" through reflections and exercises
- How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children)
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Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Gill
- 12-02-20
Just an another heal your inner child book
This book wasn't quite what I expected it to be. Only few first chapters concentrated briefly on these mothers themselves. Briefly explained what psychological disorders these mothers usually exhibit. There is not much of info about the things the mother might do wrong and hardly any examples. Another chapters give overview on what therapies are available and what's most common approach versus more controversial approaches in therapies. And rest of the book is description of exercises one should do to explore why did we get hurt and trying to find out any helpful advocacy for the hurtful mother's behavior towards us. As I was not looking for self help workbook narration I was disappointed by the half of the book when I realized that's probably all I'm able to source out of it. It however didn't teach me at all how to be good mother for my children and what mistakes I have done previously. It just reminded me of how much bad I felt as a child when my mother was with me anytime anywhere and how anxious I felt when my main caregiver left me every evening with her. Probably I just realized where my social anxiety came from and confirmed I'm a victim of narcissistic mother and even I understand why she is like that and what kind of childhood trauma she had endured this book isn't helpful to resolve it. The author herself warns the reader that doing these exercises all alone without therapist can be dangerous and triggering. So its kind of self advertisement book I guess. Its not a book I would read over and over again or recommend to my friends to read.
6 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 29-05-19
Amazing book!
Highly recommended if you are in the path of personal growing. It has practical exercises and very well detail examples. I love it.
4 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 16-05-20
This book held answers for me
I found this book very accessible and it answered a lot of questions I had about my upbringing. It has opened more doors of emotion than I expected but it also gives some very practical exercises to help. I'd definitely recommend this book if you're on your emotional journey of healing. Thank you
1 person found this helpful
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- wilmjones
- 03-01-22
Enlightening
This book clarified so much for me, I would recommend to anyone who is at least wondering if they were brought up by such a parent. It made me look at my behaviour as a mother too. Lots of ideas on how to tackle the issues arising as a result, although anything severe will need therapy, as the book says.
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- Amazon Customer
- 19-11-21
so helpful
I have been working on this mother wound area for a long time. this book hits the mark so well. I feel it is a useful book no matter at what point of the journey a daughter is at. even just bringing the wound in to conscious awareness is healing. Also the validation of the book was really empowering to me, and the understanding we can heal without our mums taking an active role (or any role for that matter).
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- CGM
- 04-05-20
Very important book
Eye opening and very easy to follow. I have also now ordered the physical book so that I can do the exercises
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- Elma
- 09-01-20
eye-opening book
Really good book for anyone to read and understand why they behave in different ways.
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- ibekristi
- 08-08-18
Good book but not the audio version
I have the hard copy of this book but couldn't find time to squeeze in the reading so I got the audio version. I got 3 chapters in and had to stop. The narration sounds robotic. I couldn't bare to listen. I went back to the actual book. Much better.
17 people found this helpful
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- ToniRaeMoore
- 22-06-20
Eye Opening it Makes my life make sense
I survived a sexual trauma in childhood, the perpetrator went to prison. However I was left with all the pieces of that trauma at 11yrs old and my emotional absent and emotionally abusive parents. So to say I had coping mechanism is an understatement, but I had always immediately made the excuse that I had gotten them from the sexual trauma without the consideration that they could be from anything else. I mean both my parents took care of my physical needs just fine; ie roof, food, clothing, attempted to keep me safe thru being a teenager albeit they both considered me to be a wild and out of control one. It didn't dawn on me until reading this book that a parent supplies more than just physical needs to a child. Even after I had my own son 10yrs ago. I still hadn't put that together even though my son's emotional life is equally important to me as his physical and spiritual life.
Strangely I had chosen this book because I am a teacher and I hoped to glean some insight on narratives and life situations that students could be living through to help me be more empathetic and understanding their situations better. It is eye opening for sure. I recommend the book as I gained insight about my own life, others lives, and also The Narrative that societies give "Mother" all through out time.
13 people found this helpful
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- MyOwnSelfHelper
- 26-08-20
Great self help book, highly recommend.
The narrators voice is extremely important to me, very easy listen.
If these topics apply to you, keep in mind, this is not a story, and can be painful to hear at times. Try to avoid distractions and allow yourself to connect, and don't try to hurry through.
Author connects the absence of an emotional mother to its real life consequences, and offers a lot of eye opening material.
I've been in therapy for 35 yrs, I cannot believe most of this never came up with any or the providers.
This is a great book. I am so grateful to have found an author/book that delivers the information in such a way that it sticks with you.
I feel like I finally have a place to start the healing process.
8 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 06-05-19
Wow ....
It ... it cured me. I am free now ... finally I am free. thank you thank you very much thank you i am free. guys I would like to give you some parts of my story you know what i am happy now depression-free I used every bit of my power to make this happen. I am from EGYPT and here without any regret it is a MISSED up system I DID NOT FINDA THERAPIST AND I KNEW THAT I WAS SICK SO SICK I KNEW IT IKNEW IT> AT THE END AFTER FIVE THERAPISTS I HAVE DECIDED TWO THINGS
1. TO NOT GIVE A FU** ABOUT EGYPTIAN MEDICAL SYSTEMS
2.TO NOT GIVE UP
I HAVE READ BOOKS A LOT OF BOOKS, REACHED OUT FOR EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY OF GETTING HELP THAT ICOULD FIND, DID NOT WASTE MY TIME DID NOT WASTE ANY MOMENT ENROLLED IN A PROGRAM IN SCINCE. GUYS
FIVE YEARS GUYS FIVE YEARS OF PURE STRUGGLING JUST STRUGGLE! I AM TOO TIRED TOO TIRED OF THIS WOUNDS TOO TIRED BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE SUCCEDED! FINALLY.
TO YOU THE AUTHOR I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH WALLAHY I AM NOT ABLE TO MY WORDS WOULD NEVER CONSIDEREDTO BE ENOUGH. YOUR WORK IS JUST STUNNING!
AND YEAH I GOT EMOTIONALL WHILE WRITTING THIS :"D
17 people found this helpful
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- sheldon als
- 31-08-18
Amazing
Loved it to the point real self help book will read again and again each time gives more insight
6 people found this helpful
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- James Myers
- 14-09-19
Very informative and helpful
I have two daughters who are struggling to survive an emotionally absent mother and this book gives all the right information, advice, and references for them and anyone else suffering as they are. I have read many books on psychological self help and this is one of the best. Stays on point and moves along well without unneeded material.
5 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-08-19
Wonderfully insightful
I ate this book in a couple of days and feel more in tune not only with myself but with my mother. I had a solider like mother and father that didn't take to kindly to tears or to whining. But now I see it's because they, themselves fear of being weak themselves and screwing me up by spoiling me. Tough parents but honest in their motives.
4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 29-07-18
worth the time
Book starts slow and very generalized....it gets more informative and much useful after Chapter 12
4 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 28-05-21
Ground breaking
I struggled with feeling like I do not belong anywhere and feelings of unworthiness. This book helped me define why I became this way and how it happened.
For all the readers who, like me, had to throw away their childhood and grow up to help provide. I feel for you. I see you. You are accepted and worthy and the world is a better place because of you.
Know that your journey to heal the wounds that decision made is long and hard, but it will be worth it.
Respect.
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- Eliza Sisu
- 29-11-19
Enlightening♡
Wonderful read, I have read many on this subject but found information in this book I'd never heard before. It was very helpful and wonderfully narrated.♡
2 people found this helpful