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Summary

People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No". For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage.

Featured on NBC's Today, The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent Oprah guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.

Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle, involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior, will cause a dramatic, positive, and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.

As a recovered people pleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.

©2001 Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D. (P)2004 AMI

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

This Book Is Life-changing.

If you are a people pleaser you need to listen to this audio book. It will open your eyes to the reality that, if you have been living your life putting other people first ALL THE TIME, you have been deceiving yourself. It's important to love other people, but not at the point where you put your own dreams and desires on hold. I hope you enjoy listening to it.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • HawtDogFlvrWtr
  • 01-12-14

Not overly religious

Would you consider the audio edition of The Disease to Please to be better than the print version?

I've read the paperback version of this book and it was painful to get through. This may be, because I just don't like reading books.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Disease to Please?

From the very beginning of the book, it pulls no punches. It explains that you can really screw up your life by letting others walk over you. It also tells you that you can cause relationships with others to fail because of your "give all" reactions to everything.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

While I didn't cry, the book gave me strong emotional reactions because it was like looking in a mirror. It has definitely helped me alter my life in a positive directoin.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Cameron T. Freeman
  • 16-12-17

Good information but left me feeling abandoned

This book is helpful in identifying the disease, offers only little guidance to remedy it.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Urias Silva
  • 17-12-09

Maybe all the people need this

Although this is a self help book it contains valuable and acessible information. Harriet Braiker is very very good in explaining the problem and remedies. She is not rosy, she is not tragic. Bernadette Dunne has a crystal clear pleasant voice. Maybe you think you don't need it. I dare say you are wrong.

7 of 8 people found this review helpful

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  • Tdb
  • 26-04-18

Loved, but missing most important chapter

What did you like best about The Disease to Please? What did you like least?

Loved this book - great at helping me identify dysfunctional patterns, I never knew where there. I knew there were some, but not this many.

Any additional comments?

This book is missing the last chapter - the one that outlines the steps to implicate changes in your life - which I think is the most important chapter. Not sure why the audiobook does not have this part.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Mario
  • 17-04-18

Not a good read if you are a male people pleaser

This book is 15 chapters explaining why you might be a people pleaser with little to no advice on how to stop being a people pleaser. There are also lots of examples of how the author worked with people pleasing women in relationships with controlling men.. none from the other point of view. The narrator sounds like the lead character on an 80's prime time soap opera, like Dynasty or Falcon Crest.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • David
  • 14-04-18

Old but valid advice and male bashing

Written mostly for women using old advice and a pro-feminist approach, nevertheless, many women will find hope and common sense in this book. Men, raised by codependent, pro-feminist narcissistic mothers, may do themselves more damage by reading this book and feel much worse off than before.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Brooke
  • 19-07-15

Focused on sexual abuse

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

This book is only about 4 hours long and she spend quite a lot of time on sexual abuse...which was disappointing because not all people who want to please others have that problem. And the example story she gives out is quite gruesome and disturbing, which I could not relate to at all.

Any additional comments?

I wish she wrote less about the sexual side of it and focused more on interpersonal skills in general so that the broad audience can relate to it. Talking about sexual abuse is fine, but that's not what the title represents. I was looking for general interpersonal skills based on guilt, insecurities, etc.

8 of 12 people found this review helpful

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  • Allen T Herzig
  • 06-08-18

Very informative

I found this book very instructional and to the point. Very step by step and objective.

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  • Denise
  • 28-06-18

What I needed to hear.

this book motivated me to more honest with myself about why I am constantly guarded, always avoiding conflict and how I manage to allow others define my success.

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  • Amc
  • 25-05-18

Insightful

Each time I listen to this I see more of myself. I used to blame others for my situation, but this book has helped me to realize I have contributed to my own unhappiness.