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Stone Cold Bastards Audiobook

Stone Cold Bastards

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Publisher's Summary

Only a rag-tag team of gargoyles stands between humanity and extinction.

Hell has released its ravening horde of demons, leaving most of humanity a puke-spewing, head-spinning mess of possession.

Humanity's last hope? A team of misfit gargoyles - including a cigar chomping, hard-ass grotesque - come alive and ready for battle during the End of Days. They guard the last cathedral-turned-sanctuary atop a bald knoll in the North Carolina mountains.

Gargoyle protection grudgingly extends to any human who can make it inside the sanctuary, but the power of the stonecutter blood magic, which protects the sanctuary, may not be enough when a rogue grotesque and his badly-wounded ward arrive.

All the hounds of hell are on their heels. The last sanctuary is about to fall.

©2017 Jake Bible (P)2017 Jake Bible

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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Performance
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    Bethany McCann Preston 16/05/2017
    Bethany McCann Preston 16/05/2017
    HELPFUL VOTES
    0
    RATINGS
    REVIEWS
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    26
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
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    Overall
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    "An Enjoyable Break"

    I was voluntarily provided this review copy audiobook at no charge by the author, publisher, and/or narrator

    This audio book was an enjoyable break from the many romance and fantasy romance books I have read/listened to. A plain fantasy book that allowed me to become immersed in a world that has been taken over by demons from Hell.

    The narrator effectively portrayed a heavy character base and from the different in the voices I was easily able to ascertain which character I was listening to even though I struggled with remembering the many names of characters. That may simply be because I have not listened to a fantasy novel like this in a while.

    I have not heard a story like this before, the notion of 'G'S being used to save the world was an extremely interesting concept.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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  • Natalie @ BookLoversLife
    07/06/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Gargoyles!!!"

    In a world overrun by Demons, Gargoyles are the last line of defense for the remaining humans, but with sanctuaries falling quickly, the Demons set their sights on the last Sanctuary in Appalachians Mountains. But Artus and a group of grotesques have other ideas and will fight to the death to keep this one from falling too. Can they keep the hordes of Demons at bay and protect their wards from being possessed?

    This was all kind of awesomeness!!! There isn't enough books out there like this, unique, fun, and just bloody entertaining. We need more books with Gargoyles and things like that in it!!

    Anyway, Jake Bible has created an amazing world. I absolutely loved the whole idea behind the Gargoyles. They were crafted by master stone crafters and embedded with magic, so that they could come alive and protect the Sanctuaries if the need arises. Well it has because Hell has busted open it's gates and Demons have possessed most of the world's population. It has come down to the Gargoyles and the sanctuaries they protect to keep their wards safe, but it's becoming harder because all the Demons need is eye contact and that person is possessed.

    Another part of the world building I loved was the lore behind the stonecutters. I loved learning about them. It's an integral part of the plot and totally grips you.

    The best thing about the book though, are definitely the Gargoyles (sorry, they like to be known as Grotesques). They were so varied and wonderful! You have such a wide variety and ones with some special skills, that you can't help but love them all. I loved the Dragon and the sisters.

    In all, this was a creative and entertaining read. It was a breath of fresh air in a world saturated with books. I loved everything about it and can't recommend it enough.

    Jeff Hays was phenomena in this. I think it's his best work to date because there is a lot of characters yet he manages to differentiate everyone of them. His tone for the Gargoyles was awesome and he brought this book alive. Brilliant performance.

    I was voluntarily provided this audiobook for free from the author, narrator, or publisher. This in no way affected nor influenced my thoughts.

    5 of 5 people found this review helpful
  • Mary Karowski
    16/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "What the show gargoyles could have been!"

    The world has ended. The gates of hell have opened. Demons are taking
    Over humanity as puppet like
    Meatbags. Kill one, they go back to hell and come back in another body soon. There is sanctuary. Various churches with powerful gargoyles created by ancient stone cutters provide that. They are guarded by grotesques, granite carved statues imbued with power like the gargoyles but mobile. Yet they are falling, slowly but surely, one by one. Until...
    I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Bill
    CA, United States
    09/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Quick, fun and highly entertaining"

    Creatures made of stone and powered by ancient magics. Carved to fight. To protect. The wards under their care are in danger of being possessed by demons bent on world domination. Cathedrals are falling and things are getting dire. It’s up to the G’s to find a way to send them back to hell.

    I honestly should have hated this one. It should have been too YA’ey. Too hokey. Too fantasy. Much to my surprise, I really enjoyed it and it was none of those things. The only thing hokey about it, in fact, was me. That’s what I get for pre-judging a book. Bad, reader-dude. Bad.

    This was quick, fun and highly entertaining with an intriguing premise that was executed well.

    Jeff Hays narration of this one was spot on. There were several unique characters here and I can see where it may have been challenging to do them all without getting over the top or silly. I will admit that there are some synthesized voices here that took me a minute to get used to, but once I did, it fit the story nicely.

    Very well done all the way around. 3.5+ Audible Stars rounded up to 4 because I went into this with a poor attitude and the strength and originality of the work proved me wrong. A solid, good time, fun and quick listen.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    07/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Buckle up, you're in for a wild ride!"
    Any additional comments?

    This is the 4th or 5th book by Jake Bible that I've 'read'. He writes some crazy stuff, and this might just be the craziest yet. Please note that crazy does not mean bad in the least. This is a wild tale about the end of the world, hell on earth is upon us and the fate of humanity rests in the hands of ... gargoyles? Yep, stone gargoyles. (or more specifically Grotesques) I have to say my mind immediately jumped to the old Disney Gargoyles cartoon, which I remember rather fondly. The cast of characters is huge and the adventure is quite wild, with plenty of action. I kind of hope he writes a prequel. I'd love to see the world as it falls apart. Definitely an enjoyable tale

    This is the first book I've listened to narrated by Jeff Hays, but it most certainly will not be the last. As I mentioned above, this book has a huge cast and what is amazing is that Mr. Hays managed to give each of them a distinct voice. Love what he did with the twin fairy characters. Sometimes when narrators attempt to do so many voices it's a disaster, Hays pulls it off in spectacular fashion, flipping from one voice to the next and back, to the point you almost have to wonder if more than one person is doing the voices. As I said, I will definitely be checking out more of his work, in fact I've already checked out his body of work and noticed he's done several recordings for M.R. Forbes so I know I'll be listening to Mr. Hays again real soon.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • lbh
    Salt Lake City, UT United States
    06/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Grotesques and Gargoyles to the rescue!"
    Any additional comments?

    I received a copy of an audible version of this book from Jeff Hayes, the narrator and I'll definitely be looking for his books in the future! The gates of hell have opened and the Gargoyles and the Grotesques have awakened to protect the last of mankind. Our heros are guarding and protecting the last of mankind in a sanctuary, protected by magic. This is not to be missed if you like end of the world stories and are sick and tired of zombies! I started this book in the morning, and finished this afternoon while doing yard work. That's the great thing about an audible book, you don't have to stand still to listen. The story was great, the narration superb! Each character was given his own voice, his own individual personality. Stellar performance. Don't miss the book!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Daniel Delgado
    Long Island, NY
    22/04/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Very Cool Story"

    There was a tremendous amount of action in this book, and the layers of storylines were distinct and enjoyable to follow. There was something of a Pulp Fiction disjointedness to the story's flow, as there were multiple flashbacks. It is easy enough to follow, as long as you are paying attention.

    Jeff Hays did a fabulous job narrating. Not only did almost every character have a unique voice (though some of the females sounded similar), but he put on appropriate accents. He also mixed in several different vocal effects that I haven't heard before. He was a joy to listen to, and a narrator I plan to follow.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • forever making history
    Virginia
    11/04/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "wow"

    what a fabulous story line for those curious stone creatures that watch over us .great narration,and always kudos to Jake Bible

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Kel J
    29/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "If you're tired of the same old thing..."
    What did you love best about Stone Cold Bastards?

    I was voluntarily provided this review copy audiobook at no charge by the author, publisher and/or narrator. I found myself really liking the characters. There were a lot of them and sometimes it got a little overwhelming but after a while, it smoothed out and you were able to distinguish the different characters apart. The story moved at a good pace, not too slow but not so fast that you couldn't take in what was happening. It was a really interesting take on the end of the world and I found myself actually caring about what happened to a lot of the characters, human and not-human.


    What did you like best about this story?

    The story was very good, interesting and new. I haven't read a story like this before and the characters really add to the story, making it richer. You find yourself caring about what happens next, if everyone will survive and if they don't, you feel horrible because you liked that character (or not feel bad because you hated them).


    What about Jeff Hays’s performance did you like?

    At first, I liked his takes on the different characters but the distortions they used for the G's bothered me but the more I listened, the more I found myself liking that unique take. It really made it obvious when a G was talking but it also added to their otherworldly origins. By the end of the story, I didn't even notice the distortions used for the G's voice, just accepted it as their character's unique voice. Mr. Hays also does a very good job differentiating between the male and female voices. Usually, you know it's a man imitating a woman's voice but with Mr. Hays, I had to double check to see if there was a female narrator working with him, he did such a great job with the female voice. With all the voices, really. You could tell, after a bit, which character was which just by the voice.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    While I would've liked to hear this in one sitting, it isn't necessary. It's easy enough to follow along, even if you only listen for a short time each day. Mr. Hays adds to the story with his take on each character and the story itself was intriguing and engaging. I almost wish there was a sequel to this but I don't think it would work.


    Any additional comments?

    I had some unanswered questions that I wish had been answered but I doubt I'll ever find them out and that's ok too. I'd like to know how hell opened, what magic animated the G's and how a certain character survived at the end. But other than that, I really enjoyed this story and might listen to it again.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Tyler U.
    26/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Legion meets Gargoyles... pretty good"

    I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

    This was a great post apocalyptic story about mythical creatures fighting demons. Kind of like that old cartoon Gargoyles meets Legion. Last bastions of humanity fighting along side fearsome beasts to battle the hordes of hell.

    This was my first Jake Bible story and I found I really liked it. The narrator, Jeff Hays, was also pretty good. He did different voices for each character and had an interesting tone and pace to his speech.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Troublemer
    13/05/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Grotesque and Gargoyles. Go team!"

    This about a group of gargoyles who are the guardians of the last Sanctuary where the last of humans are being protected. Demons have broken out and possessing humans. Their only hope is the last stone cutter. This was great, intense story. Each of the grotesque and gargoyles worked and fought to save there wards. I just loved Mordi, Coins and the gang. Jeff Hays really brought each character to life. He is one of the greatest narrators. If you love a good apocalyptic, urban fantasy then this book is for you.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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