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Ready For Absolutely Nothing

‘If you like Lady in Waiting by Anne Glenconner, you’ll like this’ The Times

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Ready For Absolutely Nothing

By: Susannah Constantine
Narrated by: Susannah Constantine
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Brought to you by Penguin.

Susannah Constantine, our loved style guru and one half of the outrageously popular television programme, What Not to Wear, spent her youth entangled in glitz and glamour. Susannah's very first memoir is filled to the brim with scandalous stories, jaw-dropping royal relationships and star-studded encounters from pop stars to the fashion greats. But beneath it all is a woman who is still getting to know herself, even after falling in love at first sight, presenting one of the most monumental television programmes ever and having Princess Margaret as a second mother figure.

Uncertain of her future, unsure of how to cope with her own mother's tragic battle with bipolar disorder, and becoming a mother herself, Susannah is on a journey of discovery and her memoir tells you her greatest loves and lessons, bound together with disarming honesty and beguiling humour.

© Susannah Constantine 2022 (P) Penguin Audio 2022

 Art & Literature Beauty, Grooming & Style Entertainment & Celebrities Personal Development Personal Success Funny Celebrity Feel-Good Heartfelt Inspiring Thought-Provoking Witty Royalty
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Critic reviews

A romp . . . Constantine comes across as a trooper with a filthy sense of humour
Hilarious and honest, sparing neither herself nor her readers from incredibly intimate details . . . A book for anyone who's after laughter, tears and one hell of a rollercoaster ride
Bonkers and brilliant. Her writing is exquisite. With comedy and candour, she bares her soul . . . Magnificent
Absolutely brilliant (Elton John)
Wonderfully written, very funny, but more than anything completely genuine (Lady Anne Glenconner, author of Lady in Waiting)
A rollicking ride . . . What a life
A treasure trove of previously untold stories . . . A riveting read
We lunched better than we danced (Anton Du Beke)
Wildly fun
Sensational, juicy, gossipy, filthy and bravely honest in equal measure, Susannah Constantine's memoir is a rollicking romp through the upper middle classes
All stars
Most relevant
Started well. An interesting childhood and first foray into the fashion industry. Also her friendship with Princess Margaret and romances with David Linley and Imran Khan.
Then a pointless and dreary account of her relationship with Jake Shears finishing on the dullest stint in Strictly Come Dancing ever!
Where was Trinny? The ‘What Not to Wear’ era was missing and greatly missed.
Peculiar

A book of two halves

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I really didn’t know what to expect when I decided to listen to this audio. I knew Susannah form her telly days with Trinny and always enjoyed their programmes so I thought I’d give it a go. And I have to say I enjoyed it immensely. Susannah has a fabulous sense of humour and I loved hearing all about her early days and her family and all the people she met through the years. A very honest book. I loved it.

Really enjoyed Susannah

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I enjoyed this so much - it’s engaging and amusing. Susannah reads it vey well - it’s an easy listen
I was a little disappointed there is nothing about her time on What Not To Wear but perhaps that’s in a previous book
This book is very honest about her bad times but plenty of funny stories to keep you smiling

Great fun

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Laugh out loud funny, heart-warmingly honest, insightful, poignant; a thoroughly charming, enjoyable and engaging read. I could be mates with Susannah, having read her life story. Brillianto!! 👌

Highly recommend!

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Ready for Absolutely Nothing is a brilliantly written book. It's interesting, full of warmth and humour, entertaining, but also moving.

Susannah is a very witty writer and there are many funny stories and lines. One of my favourites is when she was a young girl and told her mum that she sometimes got a ‘funny feeling in her front bottom’ and her mum attributed it to 'too much cheese'!

Susannah doesn't shy away from the challenges she's faced during her life though – her mother suffered from depression and alcoholism and Susannah herself is a recovering alcoholic. The way she writes about these experiences is very matter of fact, but very moving.

I love the sisterly solidarity and warmth with which Susannah speaks about other women. She clearly champions her friends and is full of respect and affection for women and their achievements.

Given the privileged background Susannah's had, she is refreshingly down to earth, level-headed, fun and warm. How do I apply to become one of her friends?!

Susannah also narrates it brilliantly. Her humour, warmth and spirit come through perfectly. Well done!

Love this book! Warm, funny, but also touching.

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