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Promises, Promises

A Romp with Plenty of Dykes, a Unicorn, an Ogre, an Oracle, a Quest, a Princess, and True Love with a Happily Ever After
By: L-J Baker
Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (9 ratings)

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Summary

A talking pearl earring. A gleaming white unicorn. A flower from an ogre.

Sandy Blunt, a witch, has big dreams but C-average magic skills. Her only noteworthy talent is for paying extravagant compliments to women. Trouble is, when she uses that gift, she unwittingly foretells the future for a pretty princess. And, the punishment for prophesying about one of royal blood is death...

With the help of ill-assorted companions - including a self-proclaimed princess in disguise, a self-absorbed member of the royal guard, and the not-so-average girl next door - Sandy has a year and a day to travel to far-flung places, collecting the weird and magical items needed to turn her prophecies into promises and evade the executioner. Along the way, she encounters such dangerous creatures as a dragon who writes awful poetry, slovenly elves, and boarding house landladies.

©2011 LJ Baker (P)2013 LJ Baker

What members say

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Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Silly but fun

Very funny and well written, I really enjoyed it! Interspersed with myths and fairy tails and a large douse of feminism it kept me thoroughly entertained.

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Absolutely Hilarious

What made the experience of listening to Promises, Promises the most enjoyable?

The narration was excellent and actually made the audio version even funnier than the print version.

What about Kitty Hendrix’s performance did you like?

Boy can she do droll. Will look out for other books narrated by her. Excellent.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Profile Image for Allan
  • Allan
  • 21-08-13

A world of remarkable women.

Would you consider the audio edition of Promises, Promises to be better than the print version?

Did not read the print version. I bought the audio because it came highly recommended.

Would you be willing to try another book from L-J Baker? Why or why not?

Yes, She has a wonderful imagination, and her dscriptions are both funny and erotic.

What does Kitty Hendrix bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Ms. Hendrix does an amazing reading. I can't imagine how anyone can so clearly define each character and provide such a flawless narration. She has given me a much greater afffection for audio books.

If you could rename Promises, Promises, what would you call it?

I would call it something like "A World of Promises" to avoid confusion with the Broadway show.

Any additional comments?

Overall a fun read. I have never cared much for audio books, but this was highly recommended for its content and its narrator. As the title promises, promises,itwas a romp.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Ontheother hand
  • 11-10-13

GREAT BOOK - GREAT NARRATOR!!!!!

What made the experience of listening to Promises, Promises the most enjoyable?

Sitting back, relaxing and just falling into the story.

What did you like best about this story?

The cover art suggested a very funny book and the listening delivered.

What about Kitty Hendrix’s performance did you like?

What a fantastic voice! I think her interpretation as well as her vocal range added immensely to the overall satisfaction with the book.

Who was the most memorable character of Promises, Promises and why?

Definitely the Ogre!

Any additional comments?

A real treat! If you want a very pleasant experience, choose this book for the story and its narrator!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Profile Image for Katrin
  • Katrin
  • 30-12-14

Hilarious, fluffy fun

Would you consider the audio edition of Promises, Promises to be better than the print version?

I haven't read the print version but I would probably find that the audio edition is more entertaining if I had.

What did you like best about this story?

The lighthearted way it makes fun of itself and the genre.

What about Kitty Hendrix’s performance did you like?

Every character has it's own voice and characteristics. Her voice fits the book.

Any additional comments?

I wish LJ Baker would write more books like this one. I have listened to it twice and enjoyed the book both times.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 24-10-19

Utterly hilarious and fantastic!

If you're like me and have been leaving this book on the back of your shelf or wishlist thinking you'll get around to it...get around to it. It's everything promised, an all around feel good read that will have you chuckling throughout. I was literally smiling the entire time I listened to this. Very well written and brilliantly preformed. I'm actually going to gift this to several people this holiday season.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Amazon Customer
  • 12-12-18

I love this book.

Two years after reading it, I still consistently think of this book and recommend it to everyone. It's just a delightful and really fun story, refreshingly chaste and sincere, and just hilarious all the way through. I can not recommend it enough.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Faith Denlinger
  • 12-10-18

Hilarious!!!!!

I love this book. It’s super cheesy and fun. Hysterical and over the top. The characters break the fourth wall along the way. There is commentary on writing style as well. The narrator is perfect. Take the ⏰. It is well worth it.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 10-10-18

Hilarious and clever!

Highly amusing. I loved how the author, in a very blatant tongue-in-cheek manner, worked in the political diatribe and cameos. The romantic pairings were sweet and perfect. All together an excellent book I would enjoy reading more than once, which is my hugest compliment.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Ashley R.
  • 12-01-18

Fantastically Funny!

I have listened to this book at least six times in the two years I have owned it. Hilarious and heart warming!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Ijw
  • 23-09-19

Fractured Fairy Tale

I enjoyed this book so much that although I was reading it for free I went back and paid for it. While it starts out as a typical quest fantasy with lesbian references it has many allusions to fairy tales, mythology, movies, etc to add flavor. You've never seen a quest like this one. Like reading a Fractured Fairy Tale.

Don't worry about the lesbian romance angle; it won't offend you anymore than PC "farm boy trying to win the princess" fiction.

The reader actually has the perfect blend of straight face and understated delivery. I put it in my list of undiscovered treasures that don't get the publicity that they deserve. I hope we hear more from this author.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Profile Image for R. Corradini
  • R. Corradini
  • 12-04-17

Cute story, maybe a little too self-aware.

The premise was fun, the characters were amusing. The story veered at times into overly clever inversions of typical pulp fantasy tropes, often belaboring the point until it wasn't funny anymore.

The narrator brought life to the characters, but occasionally her pacing was strange, frequently blowing through what were probably sub-chapter boundaries (abrupt scene changes or spans of elapsed time) without a pause to allow the listener to make the mental recognition of the transition.

Overall, though, I enjoyed the book and would read more by this author.