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  • Why Do I Do That?

  • Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives
  • By: Joseph Burgo PhD
  • Narrated by: John Raines
  • Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (159 ratings)
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Why Do I Do That? cover art

Why Do I Do That?

By: Joseph Burgo PhD
Narrated by: John Raines
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Summary

This is a self-help book for people who don't usually buy self-help books. Instead of offering cognitive-behavioral techniques for dealing with anger, or affirming strategies to boost self-esteem, this self-help book adapts the basic methods of psychodynamic psychotherapy to a guided course in self-exploration, highlighting the universal role of defense mechanisms in warding off emotional pain. Even the best self-help books tend to stay on the surface. Why Do I Do That? instead probes deeply into the unconscious. With easy-to-understand explanations, the first part teaches you about the unconscious mind and the role of psychological defenses in excluding difficult feelings from awareness. Individual chapters in the longer middle section explore the primary defense mechanisms one by one, with exercises to help you identify your own defenses at work. The final part offers guidance for how to "disarm" your defenses and cope more effectively with the unconscious feelings behind them. Psychological defense mechanisms are an inevitable and necessary part of the human experience; but when they become too pervasive or deeply entrenched, they may damage our personal relationships, restrict or distort our emotional lives and prevent us from behaving in ways that promote lasting self-esteem. Why Do I Do That? promotes self-help for listeners who want to improve their relationships, manage their emotional lives more effectively and develop authentic self-esteem that will last. If you find that even the best self-help books lack depth and fail to instigate lasting change, this psychodynamic self-help book may be for you.

©2012 Joseph Burgo (P)2016 Joseph Burgo

What listeners say about Why Do I Do That?

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    4 out of 5 stars

Really open your mind to who you are

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes. If you want to understand how and why you react negatively to some situations it helps you understand your behaviour. Well written, not at all patronising, real life examples make it accessible and helpful.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

no. Although I wanted to you needed to take breaks and digest what you'd heard.

Any additional comments?

I listend to it twice, straightaway. Very interesting and helpful.

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8 people found this helpful

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excellent book! inspiring and comforting!

excellent book! inspiring and comforting... I want to read it again. thank you for writing x

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6 people found this helpful

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  • 05-02-18

Absolutely gem!! So so much insight wow

This is one amazing book! I cannot believe how much I needed this right now in my life.
Incredible insight on why did I do and say and thought and behaved in the way I did. It is so clear like day light. Sometimes you say and do things or take things to heart and double hurt yourself but cannot understand how or why that did come about. This book will not only break it down to you but it will also tell you (clearly) why and help you progress and (bonus) tell you what it looks like when you have applied the principles in it. How amazing is that? Get this book, YOU deserve it!

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5 people found this helpful

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Incredibly relevant and informative

I found this audibiook to be so helpful and informative!! It really helped me gain a greater (and more compassionate) understanding of myself and others, and the way the fear driven ego tries to defend itself. I highly recommend this this book to anyone wanting more insight into the ways you are holding yourself back.

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4 people found this helpful

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Insightful

I really enjoyed this audiobook. I’m a trainee psychotherapist and found it very insightful and more interesting than my dry course notes.
It’s also a brilliant self-help book and an easy listen.

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2 people found this helpful

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I bought the audible but I really need the BOOK

There are exercises and you need to be able to see at a glance which statements are in in which group so I really should have gone down the paper pages route here.. You're more susceptible to different defense mechanisms depending on which groups of statements you agree with the most. There are sentences in this book that really stopped me in my tracks and I had to press pause quickly and write down what I'd heard so I could mull it over. I'm not finished this audible yet and I've written so many notes, and my handwriting is terrible. I just sat back and listened to Joseph Burgo's other book about narcissists and I nodded along, it was perfect for an audible, but *this* is a work that you deserve to have in a hard copy. I can't wait for my book to arrive so I can go through it with a highlighter. I don't regret having the audible too though. It was worth doubling up on.

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1 person found this helpful

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Highly recommend

As a psychotherapist I highly recommend this book. It really does highlight the powerful defences we all employ and how they affect and impact on our relationships both with ourselves and others. The book starts by helping us to identify what defences look like in our own behaviour and that of others. We then get interesting exercises to identify our own defences and then guidance in improving our relationships though this new understanding. I love how accessible, welcoming and gentle this book is and It really is a book that EVERYONE should read. I'll certainly be recommending to clients, as well as referring back to often for my own development.

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1 person found this helpful

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Well.....

Not easy to listen to this. The author is constantly saying:" maybe YOU are like this, maybeYOU are like that" as if when something goes wrong, there is nothing wrong with anybody else except yourself. It goes further: if anybody criticizes you, there must be something wrong with you if you take issue to it.

After a while of this stuff, you feel you want to punch him. This is the audiobook of how everything is wrong with you, and everybody else is great and perfect.

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1 person found this helpful

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Interesting and helpful

Very good. Easy to listen to and insightful. Identified with some things in here and am more self-aware now.

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Very Insightful

A wonderful book, really helpful at understanding and seeing Defence Mechanisms and how to work with them. honest and open about long term outcomes. I love the focus on shame and its helped me work on the shame of not fully healing my own defence mechanisms when I'm tired or having an off day, and understanding why that is.

highly recommended book.

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