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Nine Lives, Zero Paperwork

Nine Lives, Infinite Lies, Book 1

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Nine Lives, Zero Paperwork

Yazan: Kysa Steele
Seslendiren: Adriel Brandt
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A cat hits a spaceship viewport. In hard vacuum. Completely calm. Mouthing: "You missed the turnoff." It gets worse from there.

Cargo hauler Jarik Venn just wanted to deliver freeze-dried rations and avoid toll stations. Instead, he rescued a reality-warping cat from the vacuum of space, became wanted in nine sectors, and accidentally destroyed a government starship with a weaponized hairball.

The cat's name is Brentley. He's a pathological liar, an escaped familiar, and possibly the most wanted being in three sectors. He's also Jarik's new passenger. Whether Jarik likes it or not.

Now they're being hunted by the Familiar Reclamation Bureau of Licensing—a cosmic agency dedicated to tracking down rogue magical entities and drowning them in paperwork. Their lead agent? Inspector Greeb, a corgi in a tiny vest who quotes regulations like scripture and has a personal vendetta against one particular orange tabby.

Between zero-G slapstick, bureaucratic absurdity, and one catastrophically glowing hairball, Jarik discovers that the universe's rules are more like suggestions. Reality bends around Brentley. Lies occasionally come true. And the Bureau has seventeen different forms for "harboring a fugitive familiar."

When Brentley's past catches up to them in the form of a Leviathan-class enforcement frigate, Jarik faces a choice: spend the rest of his life filing paperwork in triplicate, or embrace the chaos and become the galaxy's most wanted transportation provider.

The cat already filed the paperwork. Mentally. Jarik's complicit.

©2025 Kysa Steele (P)2026 Kysa Steele
Absurdist Genre Fiction Humorous Science Fiction Space Opera Kediler Yıldızlararası Duygusal olarak çekici
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