Listen free for 30 days

Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office

Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (A Nice Girls Book)
Narrated by: Lois P. Frankel
Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (94 ratings)

£7.99/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime

Summary

The New York Times bestseller, which for 10 years has been a must-have for women in business, is now completely revised and updated. In this new edition, internationally recognized executive coach Lois P. Frankel reveals a distinctive set of behaviors-over 130 in all-that women learn in girlhood that ultimately sabotage them as adults. She teaches you how to eliminate these unconscious mistakes that could be holding you back and offers invaluable coaching tips that can easily be incorporated into your social and business skills. The results for hundreds of thousands of women have been career opportunities they never thought possible - at every stage of their career, from entry-level to the corner office! Stop making "nice girl" errors that can become career pitfalls, such as:

  • Mistake #13: Avoiding office politics.
  • If you don't play the game, you can't possibly win.
  • Mistake #21: Multi-tasking.
  • Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should do it.
  • Mistake #54: Failure to negotiate.
  • Don't equate negotiation with confrontation.
  • Mistake #70: Inappropriate use of social media.
  • Once it's out there, it's hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.
  • Mistake #82: Asking permission. Children, not adults, ask for approval. Be direct, be confident.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying referenc4e material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2013 Lois P. Frankel (P)2013 Hachette Audio

Critic reviews

"This audiobook is filled with something you or one of your friends do every day…A simple, quick guide to presenting ourselves as the strong and bold women we are." (Gail Evans, author of She Wins, You Win and Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman)
"Any woman intent on getting ahead in the corporate world should listen to this book. It's a fascinating crash course in image, influence, and communication, from an accomplished and insightful coach. Terrific stuff!" (Anne Fisher, senior writer, Fortune, and "Ask Annie" career columnist, CNNmoney.com)

What members say

Average customer ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    63
  • 4 Stars
    21
  • 3 Stars
    4
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    2

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    56
  • 4 Stars
    14
  • 3 Stars
    6
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    1

Story

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    50
  • 4 Stars
    16
  • 3 Stars
    6
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    4
Sort by:
  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

A Dated White Feminist Manifesto

This book is probably most relevant to women 45+ who are middle-management or above, who are already in traditional corporate environments and at a certain level of income. The way it is written and the suggestions provided don't feel relevant to my life at all. In fact, it often made me feel bad about myself and my achievements.

The attitude to men and women is essentialising and dated. It is full of references to 'real women.' And it doesn't take into account the way in which younger men and most corporate environments today at least pay lip service to women's equality while allowing sexism to go underground or take on more insidious forms, making it far harder to address or work around.

The fundamental message of moving beyond what young women are taught about being 'a nice girl' is great. There are sprouts of really strong material around improving communication learned in childhood, definitely. But the structure of the book (a giant listicle) doesn't go in depth about any one, and there are better resources for this.

The text employs a critical tone throughout (here's everything you are doing wrong wrong wrong you silly girl *eyeroll*) that is not the most constructive investment of your time.

More dangerously, however, the negative, dismissive tone toward 'girls' reinforces negative stereotypes about women in the workplace that are hurtful to women as a whole, even if you've managed to separate yourself from the rest of the pack. Frankel says repeatedly that we have to accept the existence of double standards and that we need to work with them. Fine. But do we need to blithely treat 'girls' in the workplace as badly as men historically have? What about all the women who Frankel describes as being stuck in the 'women's ghetto' of secretaries and administrators? The attitude is 'are you a goddess who people will do things for, or are you the one who does things for the goddesses?' This is regressive and unconstructive. Some women might feel great about feeling like they have somehow escaped the fate of the helpers and then use those silly 'girls' to support their work without thinking twice about how destructive that structure is. I don't. Why not talk about how such women can move out of the cycle, rather than just advising avoiding getting sucked into it at any cost? And about things that senior women (and men!) can do to support women in those situations? What about people who have taken those kinds of jobs because there was rent to pay in the recession-era job market and they were promised opportunities for advancement that then never appeared, then found themselves stuck? How about providing a toolbox, rather than dismissing those people as failures doomed to serve others? Instead, Frankel gives the impression that she is self-obsessed and unethical, that she doesn't care if it's your head she uses as a step on her way to the top. It's all a game we need to play to win, after all.

Some of the advice assumes the reader is a relatively high earner and some is so painfully obvious that it's insulting. Frankel cites Virginia Woolf and A Room of One's Own as advice to get your own bank account and your own cushion of money so you don't have to stay in bad jobs, as well as a bunch of retirement planning suggestions. The advice is so obvious that it doesn't need to be written down. And it's great for those who earn a good income and are choosing between having a holiday or depositing savings, but what about those who are barely making rent every month, for whatever reason? This is a genuine opportunity for Frankel to help women who feel stuck to plan an escape or secure their futures. But top-earners only matter. Those silly girls in the women's ghetto can just take the hand they are dealt.

If you want a book packed with gems like 'get an expensive haircut' or 'hair should get shorter as you get older' or 'don't let your grey show' or 'don't get a visible tattoo' or 'buy this list of clothes and get it all tailored' then this is the book for you. Most of us have grown up having these ideas fed to us in the media or by our parents and don't need to buy a book to tell us this crap again. Frankel couches all these suggestions in terms of accepting and working with social expectations of women, saying that women are mistrusted if their appearance doesn't align with social expectations because it creates cognitive dissonance. We all know this. We can choose to comply or not. We can also consider ways of founding, building or changing our companies so that these expectations don't become prisons of gender stereotypes. What we don't need in 2017 is a corporate, literary version of Cosmopolitan magazine, telling women how to comply with men's expectations of women at work.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great tips but no bonus material in Audible

loved it but cannot find the appendix material In pdf files that should come with the audio book.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

good

there are many mistakes women do, myself included which hold them back. this books gives an insightful examples and workarounds for women in business

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Sam
  • Haverhill, United Kingdom
  • 16-05-17

Not for Glass-Ceiling Breakers

Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?

I'd recommend this to friends who were maybe in their 50s+ and working for stuffy, traditional companies in attempt to aid survival until retirement. The advice is so dated and some of it so infuriatingly so, that I tended to miss the good points whilst I fumed about how someone could get away with so publicly criticising the over-generalised woman for 9 hours. This book should be titled "how to act like a man" - I don't care whether she verbally dismisses this in the book. Whether consciously or not, Frankel has written a book with the majority of advice being to look at how men do it and copy. Very much the "fake it until you make it", rather than "fake it until you become it" philosophy.

What could Lois P. Frankel have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

Turned it around to not be the 100+ mistakes. If you want the title and structure of your book to be in the negative, your message is going to come across that way. Women make mistakes. Men don't.

Was Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office worth the listening time?

Of course. Just because I didn't agree with her messages, doesn't mean I shouldn't educate myself on the opinions of others. It makes my arguments better.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

It should be re-titled: "Tough Love"

Overall a pretty good book and worth the read. There is some really sound advice contained in it. Can't say I agreed with absolutely all the points she raised. There were a few moments when I felt like the author was a bit of a woman-basher. It would have been helpful to get a bit more of a balanced view on the things successful women do well as opposed to stressing how pathetic women are in comparison to men.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great book

Practical, full of useful ideas, and has a great flow to it. Thank you Lois Frankel.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • m
  • 30-03-15

fantastic!

Great book! very insightful not only in the context of workplace! pleasure to listen to

Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Ray
  • 28-08-15

Hidden Gem-A Must for Women Who Want to Excel

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I have been recommending this book to any woman who I feel has what it takes or has an interest in excelling in the business world. I can't say enough good things about it.

One thing that should be noted, is that Lois acknowledges the significant shaft that women of color experience vs white women. This is important because it shows how she can view situations objectively-which adds to her credibility. In my experience, it's rare to come across a white woman who can see and relate to our added challenges.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office?

The author said avoiding office politics was a mistake. For years, I have been trying to avoid the politics because I thought I was above it, and I thought it was the "right" thing to do. My mistake.

Have you listened to any of Lois P. Frankel’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No. N/A.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

I was a bit overstimulated. In the beginning, the author goes over some appalling statistics. After the initial shock and anger, I continued on. She discusses the unconscious mistakes that women make in the workplace-and she offers coaching tips. I feel like Lois is my personal career coach. A light bulb went off with this one.

Any additional comments?

I almost didn't make the purchase because I pretty much hate the color pink (it's been forced on me all my life) and I didn't like the title. I debated between this book and How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I thought I needed something more tailored to me-a woman. So, after reading the reviews, I decided to purchase Nice Girls. I am so glad I did.

24 of 25 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Megasaurus
  • 13-09-14

Recovering Nice Girl

Would you listen to Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office again? Why?

I would absolutely listen to this again because its chalked full of tips and advice that apply to so many different situations a woman finds herself in at work.

What other book might you compare Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office to and why?

I thought a lot about The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman when I listened to this. While that book explores the problems women face with confidence, this book shows you how to address and conquer those problems in the workplace.

What about Lois P. Frankel’s performance did you like?

Strong confident narration - It felt like getting a pep talk from a well respected, no-nonsense mentor.

Any additional comments?

I had an epiphany-like moment over and over again when Frankel points out that when people shame a woman for unladylike behavior, it's not because there is such a shameful thing as unladylike behavior, it's because it's the easiest and most effective means of getting whatever it is they want out of you.

Because we've been so conditioned to be pleasing to others, accusing a woman of behaving in an unpleasing manner is like an automatic shut off button that manipulative people use against us. Accusations and implications of this manner have no basis in reality, it's just a means of shutting us up and keeping us out.

I'd downloaded several other career advice audiobooks before this one, as I was looking for career advice because I'm a new grad starting my first corporate job. I found the other new grad career advice books rather trite and unhelpful. I was hesitant about this purchase because I wasn't worried about snagging the "corner office," so much as just getting started, but I am so glad I found this gem as I begin my journey through the corporate world.

I'm so impressed with the book I intend on buying copies for female friends as graduation presents. I also loved that Frankel recommends a plethora of other resources and career coaching books throughout. She is a generous author who never fails to cite and recommend her influences, a rare skill in a world of self-promotional and narcissistic branding.

This was one of my favorite audible experiences. Highly Recommended!

20 of 22 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Alicia
  • 25-09-18

Great Framework--some bias

The overall message of this book is great--women need to take proactive measures to reduce learned behaviors that will stand in their way of achieving success. This book clearly give specific examples how to overcome various obstacles from "apologizing too much" to "not dressing the part".

My one hang-up with this book was that the writer seemed to bring a little too much personal preference into the book. One example is she suggests women should consider cutting their hair shorter, as more successful women have shorter hair. The "Fortune's most Powerful Women" just came out for 2018, and it is pretty equal between short and long hair among the 50 women. I think this is a personal bias she brings in from past years or from her own personal style. There were a few other examples like this throughout the book that get a little too nit picky, but do not take away from the overall message.

I would still recommend to anyone looking to advance their career!

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Michelle
  • 15-12-18

Listen with a critical ear

Wow. So I will admit she makes a lot of good points. She brings attention to many subtle behaviours like body posture, eye contact, the fact that women don’t like to use the armrests in favour of « taking up less space », and how that comes construed as feeling like you don’t have much right to be there. Although a bit picky, I do see where she is coming from. But more than half the time I was thinking to myself that she...sort of hates women. She lists over 100 « mistakes » that women make in professional settings; again some of these are valid things to pay attention to, but others it’s like she’s just shaming naturally feminine behaviour. She treats traditional, ladylike behaviour as a weakness and a liability almost, and describes how one should mirror a man’s more « powerful masculine » approach instead. Newsflash to the author: men and women are inherently different. And yes, our business world still has a long way to go to be truly « equal » to both sexes. But blaming the victim and simply trying to turn women into men is not the answer.
Some of the things she went on for awhile about that I disagreed with: Don’t tuck your foot behind your ankle when you sit, because a man doesn’t do that. (Sitting that way actually shows etiquette as a lady, but she treats it as weakness). Don’t bring baked goods to the office because you will be taken less seriously for showing your nurturing side. Don’t ask for any accommodations at work while pregnant. Don’t dress in a feminine style (even conservatively), just wear a pants suit like a man. If you have visible tattoos, you have made a terrible life decision (according to her) and you deserve to suffer through the heat to cover up with long sleeves. Also try not to report sexual harassment because it will reflect badly on you. Oftentimes her tone is very abrasive and many statements extreme. From one sentence to the next, I alternated between feeling like I learned something noteworthy and just thinking she was crazy and very anti-women. Listen critically.

6 of 7 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Leigh Espy
  • 08-02-16

LOVE This Book

I read a physical copy of this book years ago - early in my career - and was able to implement suggestions immediately. I came back to it recently because I remember just how great it was. It's still great, even further into my career. It is filled with very practical suggestions that can be applied right away. Furthermore, the author provides supplemental material and further reading suggestions. I'm so glad to have given this a second read, and highly recommend it.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • A_Strickland
  • 02-01-16

A Nice Girl Who Changed

I wanted to read this book for a few years now and finally took the time to listen to it. It was well worth the wait. Dr. Frankel talks about everything from how to dress for the office, to how to negotiate salary and network for women. She discusses how when it comes to networking we as women do not value ourselves or short change ourselves in terms of our worth. I definitely plan on implementing some of her tactics in the future on how to change some of my current habits.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Deborah
  • 23-02-15

Great resource

I think ever working woman should read this book. Even if you just go away with one idea it puts you that much ahead of the game.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Joey
  • 07-09-14

New lessons and Great reminders

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

It was great to hear confirmation about several of the tips that I was already doing which helped to open up to new advise on things that I am either not doing or was unaware I was wrongfully doing. I walked away more confident and inspired after the book and will re-read it again and again.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office?

How important it is to be among the first to speak in meetings.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

When Lois spoke about standing up for yourself and how to professionally defend or point out when others try to scape goat you.

Any additional comments?

A great read, a must for all women in an office setting looking to get ahead.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • am
  • 05-06-18

Get your powersuit and 1980s Gurl Power

TL;DR - be confident, play to your strengths, read the room (or office in this case), use critical thinking, maintain professionalism and be goal oriented. Dont give into bullies or play their games. Learn strategy and apply it to your life.

If you read the above, you dont need the book.

The narrator has a lovely voice and was pleasant to listen to.

The tone of the book is outdated, which is sad considering its only 4 years old, feels like a womens empowerment book from the 1980s. Author contradicts herself through out the book while trying to make her points. Most glaryingly obvious is her consistent comparison of men vs women, then stating how the presumed reader is not a man and should act like a woman, but not too much. The duality posed by the author seems to be pitting men and women against eachother. So much man hate and personal feeling. She takes sucker punches at the supposed patriarchy. I do agree women are raised differently from men and that, that reflects in adult behaviors. Its common knowledge at this point that men and women are different and approach work and the office environment differently. Its also common knowledge the office space is heavily geared toward men, so is the rest of the world. However the way inwhich this is all pointed out gives the air of patronizing the reader. Especially when she keeps calling the reader a "nice little girl" and telling them to grow up into a woman. ok thanks. The world has changed, its not as simple as women not being allowed in the boys club. We have so many other communities fighting for equal pay, respect and rights in the work place, and promotion options that its no longer a black and white issue. The author does nothing to address the plight of immigrant employees or LGBTQ individuals. She barely touches on the fact African American women struggle harder to succeed due to old stigmas and racism. The fact she continually tries to turn it into a two sided problem is belitting the issue. Im struggling to finish this book. But this author needs to reevaluate how she precieves the world and self. Her advice stems from a different generation and different time, its very clear she hasnt updated herself or views since the shoulder pads and powersuit era.

7 of 9 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • AKN
  • 22-10-18

Male behavior is the problem

While there were tidbits of valuable guidance, overall I found the advice to be steeped in sexism. Would anyone ever ask a man to wear makeup? Never! The notion that women must make their appearance pleasing to the men in power is exactly what’s wrong with how woman are treated and viewed in the workplace. We are not objects for you to look at. This BS that is mascaraed as coaching is nothing more than an attempt to push women shift their behavior because men aren’t willing to shift their own.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful