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Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them

When Loving Hurts and You Don’t Know Why
Narrated by: Randye Kaye
Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
4.5 out of 5 stars (9 ratings)

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Summary

Is this the way love is supposed to feel?

  • Does the man you love assume the right to control how you live and behave?
  • Have you given up important activities or people to keep him happy?
  • Does he belittle your opinions, your feelings, or your accomplishments?
  • Does he withdraw love, money, approval, or sex to punish you?
  • Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship?
  • Do you find yourself "walking on eggs" and apologizing all the time?

If the questions here reveal a familiar pattern, you may be in love with a misogynist - a man who loves you, yet causes you tremendous pain because he acts as if he hates you.

In this superb self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the voices of men and women trapped in these negative relationships to help you understand your man's destructive pattern and the part you play in it.

©1986 Susan Forward and Joan Torres (P)2017 Tantor

Critic reviews

"Very important and much needed.... This how-to book could be a lifesaver." (Abigail Van Buren, "Dear Abby”)

What members say

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    5 out of 5 stars

An absolute must read!

Very insightful and very helpful book. After listening to the audio book, I just had to buy a copy of the book for my sister who is married to a misogynist. Coming from a patriarchal society, there are so many misogenist around here that it is easy to assume that it's just the way men are. To keep a man, a woman must be prepared to give up her identity and be willing to endure all sorts of abuse at the hands of her husband, which only escalates over time. It's an epidemic and, sadly, it gets passed down to the next generation. I don't know what can be done to address this plague, but I'm glad that a book like this has been written to help people begin to address the problem at the individual level, it's especially helpful for women who live in developing countries and who do not have access to a psychologist's help. Thank you Dr. Susan for another masterpiece. I read your other book on toxic parents, and I think you are a very gifted psychologist, among the very best out there.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 04-01-18

Very uplifting

I listened to the sample and found myself in tears. I knew it was a book for me and after listening to it. It has already helped me understand my relationship more than ever. It makes you feel like you’re not alone and there’s a way to deal and understand that it’s not just you. I wholeheartedly recommend this book.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Lara Cockrell
  • 24-07-18

FANTASTIC!!

This book makes sure to draw the line of healthy and unhealthy relationships. She makes sure to tell you that certain behaviors are expected and at what point they aren't normal. I loved the fact that she included exercises to help with your self esteem. I told my therapist about this book and he MADE me do the exercise and it was a HUGE eye opener. I have a much more open view of everything in my relationship and my self esteem had been boosted quite a bit. This book helped me change the way I view myself.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Mayra
  • 20-08-18

100% me

This is my relationship in a nutshell. I was compelled by the title because my husband claims to love me, but he loves to hate me.

I'll read this again to do the quizzes and take note of the advice.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • B
  • 01-08-18

Helpful

After reading, I feel a lot better knowing why I feel the way I do, and I have the tools I need to prevent this from happening again.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Rosa
  • 15-10-19

After 26 years of marriage, now I understand

This Book has free my spirit after so long my life was lost, this book is so real so clear to understand why, how life happen, thank you so very much and I hope that just Like myself other women can find them self again. Thank much, forever grateful for this book.

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  • Velma
  • 30-06-19

Helpful

I really liked the explanation of what a misogynist is. I especially liked she tells you how to work through your anger, and to realize what your putting up with.

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  • Martha Valencia
  • 20-01-19

When Love - Is an Obsession

Women, in abusive situations must read this book, it can save your life, and certainly change it forever.
I have shared it with women in abusive situations and it has helped them, but the ability of some men to
control women thru fear, or psychological manipulations is strong. To tell someone who has been lonely, abused,
and who lacks self-confidence, that you, "love them" and "will never leave them" is such a psychological hook for many women that they will endure repeated psychological abuse, just as long as women who stay out of the fear of physical violence, These women want to believe they are loved, but love is not abuse, and mistreatment.
Shocking insights into the mind of abused women, and the strategies to get up, fight back, and get out. A must read.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-01-19

A must read, an eye opener, thank you

I highly recommend this book, it truly empowered me. I am better off for reading this

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  • NikkiNYC
  • 12-09-18

Narration

Sounds like a robot reading. No feeling. Otherwise the effort was fine. Maybe I’d suggest to friends if it wasn’t for the audio.