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Mating in Captivity

Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Narrated by: Esther Perel
Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
5 out of 5 stars (769 ratings)

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Summary

When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different? In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples.

Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.

Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom; argues for playfulness, distance and uncertainty; and shows what it takes to bring lust home.

Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedtime listen.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

" Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." ( The Evening Standard)

What members say

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Erotic or intellectual?

Ester Perel is suberb, but often the case studies become intellectula data to calculate. In a busy and demanding world where we crave intimacy, I would love to have seen some more prompts or exercises or challenges to work through as homework for the reader in their current relationship dynamic. Her podcast 'Where should we begin' is a more vivid experience of her work.

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Warning: this book might change your life.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book as it was thought provoking and full of knowledge gained Esther's years of experience, listening to and helping couples. I found this book very challenging and advise listening with your partner rather than trying to relay the information - you might have a lot you might want to talk about! A great book.

5 people found this helpful

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Loved it

Every now and then you strike gold and read a book that totally challenges the way you look at something with original thoughts. This is undeniably such a book and to listen to it is to become a fan of the author for life.

4 people found this helpful

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insightful, poignant

A superb collection of thoughts, anecdotes and perceptions, challenging the norms of societies the world over but specifically our modern take on relationships, Esther Perel achieves a succinct, often times disturbing, frequently compassionate, in depth discussion of relationships in a changing world. dont assume its a self help book, but instead realise its insights could be seriously beneficial for all.

The only reason I didn't give the performance a 5 was because I sometimes got stuck on her accent, but really its a small point and more about me than the reader I guess

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A must have for psychology students!!!!

I love Esther. So great I feel like I am getting to shadow a therapy session which is so hard to get a chamce to do. Thank you Esther you should be the Sigmund Freud of relationship psychology. Keep going we need you.

2 people found this helpful

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Excellent read

An older book but still very relevant. I learned a lot about the push and pull of relationships, especially around how to keep the romance alive.

2 people found this helpful

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Expanded view of the sexuality

Revolutionary book that will change how you see your partner. Holistic view of the sexuality.

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some great food for thought (and practice)

how refreshing to hear a narration by a human rather than the go-to male "broadcasting" voices of many authors. It took a bit to get used to it, but once you pass that hurdle the book becomes a lot more personal and you appreciate the author's mission more. She relates many situations she's had to overcome with her therapy clients and I think it's safe to say that there should be something in this book that every couple can relate to and learn from
higly recommended.

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good listen

very informative and interesting book. food for thought would recommend to a friend and to my husband!

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loved it!

love it, totally worth the listen if married or single, give it a try for sure!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Utilisateur anonyme
  • 18-12-17

Esther Perel is a trailblazer

Mating in captivity helped me reimagine many ideas about my relationship. It is both liberating and comforting to know that there are more ways to feel, think and express our love and desire. It’s eloquently written and perfectly presented.
Life changing!

4 people found this helpful

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  • Saqib
  • 10-12-17

A treasure for understanding relationships!

This book is a wonderful treasure to understand and live relationships in the modern world

4 people found this helpful

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  • Ema Morosan
  • 22-04-18

Loved it!

Educational, mindopening, comprehensive and smart with real life experiences and a very pleasant and warm voice. Search for Esther Perel's podcasts as well.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Tamar B.
  • 15-04-18

Every human needs to hear this book!

Probably the most insightful and fascinating book on the struggles of maintaining a happy, healthy, and passionate relationship in today's world. I'm telling everyone to listen because it really helps to put current/past/future relationships into perspective no matter where you are in your life. Listening to Esther's articulate explainations were highlighted by her beautiful accent, too. I cannot wait to learn more from her and I wish to meet her in person. Remarkable woman. Kol hakavod! Bravo!

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  • KyleListix
  • 02-03-18

A mind changer!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to, or brave enough to start looking at relationships in a different way.This book will serve the interest of anyone feeling oddly empty in certain parts of their relationship and wanting to fill those gaps with answers which will surprise even the most liberal thinkers among us.

It is a refreshing take on age old arguments and honestly left me with opinions about love, relationships and sex, which were very different to when I started reading this book.I will forever be thankful for the enlightenment and look forward to carrying these lessons with me into the future.

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  • Martin Fowler
  • 07-01-20

The content was vivid and interesting

I loved everything about this book you will definitely enjoy it. Professor Perel was great

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  • Utilisateur anonyme
  • 19-12-19

eye opening. divine!

Ester is so charismatic. every sentence in the book is meaningful. i also enjoyed her beautiful vocabulary and accent. this is one of the best books i have ever had.
now i understand why my marriage with the most loving man failed. we did not know what caused the misory. now it is clear to me that i was erotically illiterate.
i believe that the book must be added to the school curriculum. erotic intelligence is paramount and essential component of a healthy relationship with self and others.

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  • xxxx
  • 29-11-19

Insightful and a life changing must read book<br />

We spent many wonderful hours as a couple listening to this audio book. It opens the brains to listen through its scientific approach to erotic intelligence through looking at marriage and relationship with different eyes. The authors research, experience and ability to explain made both of us go through many aha moments. We truly feel this book has added enormous value to our relationship and we will revisit it again and again. It is a must read.

There is NO school for relationships, intimacy and eroticism. This book is at its core giving you the keys to unlock an incredibly important knowledge about these worlds.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 03-11-19

Excellent book about unlocking Erotic Intelligence

I loved the different examples that the author brings! What an amazingly narrated audiobook, I have learned so much from it and it provides such a great perspective on how to re ignite desire especially in couples that have been together for a while! Enjoy

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  • Caygirl
  • 19-10-19

Brilliant!!!!

Absolutely loved it. Fabulous narrator. Simply phenomenal. Informative, witty, amazing, totally recommended. A must read