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Summary

When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different? In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples.

Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.

Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom; argues for playfulness, distance and uncertainty; and shows what it takes to bring lust home.

Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedtime listen.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

" Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." ( The Evening Standard)

What members say

Average customer ratings

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some great food for thought (and practice)

how refreshing to hear a narration by a human rather than the go-to male "broadcasting" voices of many authors. It took a bit to get used to it, but once you pass that hurdle the book becomes a lot more personal and you appreciate the author's mission more. She relates many situations she's had to overcome with her therapy clients and I think it's safe to say that there should be something in this book that every couple can relate to and learn from
higly recommended.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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Warning: this book might change your life.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book as it was thought provoking and full of knowledge gained Esther's years of experience, listening to and helping couples. I found this book very challenging and advise listening with your partner rather than trying to relay the information - you might have a lot you might want to talk about! A great book.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Loved it

Every now and then you strike gold and read a book that totally challenges the way you look at something with original thoughts. This is undeniably such a book and to listen to it is to become a fan of the author for life.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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insightful, poignant

A superb collection of thoughts, anecdotes and perceptions, challenging the norms of societies the world over but specifically our modern take on relationships, Esther Perel achieves a succinct, often times disturbing, frequently compassionate, in depth discussion of relationships in a changing world. dont assume its a self help book, but instead realise its insights could be seriously beneficial for all.

The only reason I didn't give the performance a 5 was because I sometimes got stuck on her accent, but really its a small point and more about me than the reader I guess

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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I love every story!

I have stumbled upon Esther on YouTube and since then I've been glued to her stories and interviews. I have understood myself more how I feel inside and that I am not alone in this world feeling the same thing a lot of couples around the world are struggling to experience. A highly recommended audio book especially for very busy people who need both thier hands free while doing other things and read books at the same time. Can't wait to listen to her next book The State of Affairs! Thank you Madam Esther for writing this book and sharing your expertise to the world. Much love and respect to you. ❤❤❤

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • MT
  • 21-12-18

a must read for everyone

A fantastic book covering all aspects of eroticism; a must read for everyone whether you be single or not, monogamous or non-monogamous.

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Demistifying social bias around sex expectations

This book is really a manual for how to stop expecting things to happen sexually and acknowledge the biases and socially conditionings we're all subject to. It lifts the veil on taboos and shows just how simple it is to understand and enjoy eachother sexually. Brilliant, simply brilliant!

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amazing structure, great examples, captivating!

loved it, Esther is very captivating storyteller. the book itself covers all in and outs of the modern relationships.

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Thinking outside of the box and the bed . <br /><br />

Thinking outside of the box and the bed . A fresh perspective on a very engaging subject that requires careful thought and considerstion if the rewards are to be enjoyed in a fulfilling relationship. Think once and listen.....listen twice and benefit....

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  • Phillip
  • Johannesburg South Africa
  • 07-10-18

A master Piece !!!!

I learned so much from this book, everyone in a relationship needs to listen or read this book :) Its wonderful to listen to Esther Perel she has a captivating voice, could not stop listening.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 18-12-17

Esther Perel is a trailblazer

Mating in captivity helped me reimagine many ideas about my relationship. It is both liberating and comforting to know that there are more ways to feel, think and express our love and desire. It’s eloquently written and perfectly presented.
Life changing!

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Saqib
  • 10-12-17

A treasure for understanding relationships!

This book is a wonderful treasure to understand and live relationships in the modern world

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Ema Morosan
  • 22-04-18

Loved it!

Educational, mindopening, comprehensive and smart with real life experiences and a very pleasant and warm voice. Search for Esther Perel's podcasts as well.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Tamar B.
  • 15-04-18

Every human needs to hear this book!

Probably the most insightful and fascinating book on the struggles of maintaining a happy, healthy, and passionate relationship in today's world. I'm telling everyone to listen because it really helps to put current/past/future relationships into perspective no matter where you are in your life. Listening to Esther's articulate explainations were highlighted by her beautiful accent, too. I cannot wait to learn more from her and I wish to meet her in person. Remarkable woman. Kol hakavod! Bravo!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • KyleListix
  • 02-03-18

A mind changer!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to, or brave enough to start looking at relationships in a different way.This book will serve the interest of anyone feeling oddly empty in certain parts of their relationship and wanting to fill those gaps with answers which will surprise even the most liberal thinkers among us.

It is a refreshing take on age old arguments and honestly left me with opinions about love, relationships and sex, which were very different to when I started reading this book.I will forever be thankful for the enlightenment and look forward to carrying these lessons with me into the future.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • boosiloo
  • 15-01-19

must listen

very insightful , critical and deep look into relationship and monogomy that will challenge former deeply hold believes.

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  • Khakhu
  • 15-10-18

A different way of looking at relationships.

She empowers everyone in the relationship. Gone are the days when you are dependant on your spouse for your happiness. Now you have to own your happiness and not be apologetic about it.

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  • Belcea Bogdan
  • 07-04-18

Very captivating. Eager to listen to it again

For the first time I am understanding how desire needs distance.
For me, this is an amazing resource to learn about desire.

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  • Leon Eugenio Monteiro Rabelo
  • 05-03-18

illuminating, clear, bold,

An inspired and counterintuitive insight in present day's seemingly unsolvable contradictions on sex, love and relations