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Summary

What to do when your husband runs off and leaves you single, when being single is not your thing?

Lizzie has decided that single life does not suit her. From castles in Scotland to barns in Kent, via apartments in London, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery as a single woman with all the humorous pitfalls along the way.

Naked artists, extreme earth lovers, taxidermy, and blow-up dolls are just some of the encounters Lizzie has to endure in her effort to get her life back on track.

With the dashing Scot Ronan by her side, will she ever be able to do that? Or will his mountain of baggage just pile alongside hers creating an impenetrable wall between them?

A humorous journey of self-discovery and single life as a 50-year-old.

©2019 Tracie Podger (P)2020 Tracie Podger

What listeners say about Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits

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excellent book..funny as...

wow.. what a brilliant book. my first audio and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I laughed out loud so many times.. story was great. the struggle of a 50 year old is so real.. can't wait for the next book. 5 * +++++

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The narration was perfect!

I absolutely loved this book and I was completely sucked in! I absolutely loved Lizzie and seeing an insight into her world. This book was hilarious at times but also had a sad undertone at other times. It felt kind of personal at times, almost like a diary. This is a fantastic book and I highly recommend it!

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Great book and great narration

This is a great unique story of a woman of a certain age who throws herself into a situation. It’s a journey that’ll take you from Kent all the way to the Scottish highlands. It’s very funny at times and it’ll make you laugh out loud. I can’t wait to hear part 2. Kitty Kelly does a great job narrating this book and her accents are on point.
I highly recommend this story, it’s a huge 5 stars from me.

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Brilliant LOL funny

A LAUGH OUT LOUD BOOK THAT KEEPS YOU ENTERTAINED THROUGHOUT. FROM STUFFED CATS TO BLOW UP DOLLS WITH HAIRY HOOHAHS. HIGHLY RECOMMEND FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS A GOOD CHILLED READ.

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Funny as

Funny as! I needed a pick up and I certainly got it.
Life changes before you know it & stuff like this keeps it ticking over nicely.

Thank you for the laughs & silliness.
Narrator was great.

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  • KJ
  • 27-04-20

Hilarious

I've been listening to this audible during lockdown and it has definitely made me smile. The humour is on point, and exactly summarises my thoughts and feelings on getting back into dating, after years out of the scene! The cat scenario is hilarious. My teens face when she walked in on the narrator saying "limp dicks and saggy tits" was priceless.

I loved listening to a British narrator, however would have preferred a lady in her 50's, as was Lizxie.

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Laugh out loud funny

OMG I love this audiobook. It’s funny and the story is touching and romantic and any book that causes Alexa to bleep out the name makes me laugh. I loved this story it felt so real about woman of a certain age and the lovely changes to our bodies we get from that let alone having to find love and having sex again in your later years it just made me laugh and cry and I couldn’t keep a straight face every time there was a mention of Hoohah lol

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Fun

Loved it light and fun just what's needed in lockdown. Easy voice to listen to.

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  • Kristi’s review
  • 14-06-20

A great romantic comedy

I absolutely love this story. The characters are relatable and charming. The struggles Lizzie goes through just as a 50 year old divorced woman are just hilarious. Can you imagine dating after so many years? The chemistry between Lizzie and Ronan is amazing.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Jan M
  • 10-05-20

Life at Fifty...

Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits by Tracie Podger is a cheeky listen. The humor was uplifting and fitting for my age. I really enjoyed this listen and found Kitty Kelly to be the perfect voice for this book. She adds the right emotions to her performance.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Lady M
  • 08-05-20

hilarious! !!

I read this book when it came out, and I laughed so many times, but listening to it now, brought it all back and then some. great naration, it really brought this story to life, I enjoyed it so much. I love the accent and the British sayings, it was lots of fun!

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  • Jo Reason
  • 20-04-20

Very funny

Just reading the title had me. There was no need to read the blurb to decide if I wanted to listen and review this book. It is a very easy to read, flowing book, with some so very funny parts, specially if you are listening. Very real life, well most of it.
Life at fifty isn't easy, specially when you have been dumped by your husband for another younger man after so many years of being together. Dating in modern times is so different from way back then
Giggles after giggles in this book, nicely written, well paced and some very interesting and unusual characters.
Thanks Tracie for a chance to review your book.

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  • Nicole Ortiz
  • 02-12-20

Rom-Com

A funny, cute story about a fifty year old recently divorced going back out into the dating world. I enjoyed listening to this story and hearing about Lizzie's adventures from weird quirky neighbor, her best friend and her experience dating.

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  • Ckelli
  • 02-12-20

Unexpected surprise

I tend to find an author I like and then read everything they’ve written. I was between writers and fell in love with this title, and now I’m in love with this book. I haven’t laughed out loud in a long time, it scares the cats. They’ve been doing a lot of hiding. Read this book!

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  • Karen Hrdlicka
  • 27-11-20

I Want a Trip to Scotland

Although I enjoyed reading the story, listening to Lizzie and Ronan's story is an entirely different experience. Kitty Kelly does a fabulous job in portraying the humor and emotions found in Lizzie and Ronan's book. Parts I giggled at while reading were laugh out loud funny in audio and I love the lilting quality of Ms. Kelly's voice and the dialects she voices. She has a great range of character voices and I quite enjoyed listening to her narration.
I have enjoyed every book I've read by Tracie Podger, her characters are well-developed and grab the reader by the heartstring from the first page. Usually Ms. Podger writes very serious mafia or romantic suspense books, but this book shows the brilliant comedic side of this author. This rom/com takes loving her characters to a whole new level. Being the age of the main character brought Lizzie's trials and tribulations close to home. I'm not sure I have laughed out loud so much when reading a book. It probably should be labeled NSFW as I found out, laughing so hard I had tears down my face while running packets on the copy machine.
Poor Lizzie, if it weren't bad enough her husband of thirty years ran off with someone else, that "woman" used to be a naval officer and is now a six foot drag queen. Talk about a blow to a woman's ego. Her best friend introduces her to the very hot (and cold-depending on the circumstance) Scotsman, Ronan. His baggage rivals Lizzie's and that puts a potential relationship in murky waters.
She offers (or is possibly railroaded) into helping Ronan with his late mother's estate, not realizing what his mother's artistic side allowed on the grounds and the state of disarray the place is in. Met by a lovely housekeeper, Maggie, and her husband, she is equally flabbergasted by the nudists/artists roaming the ground, thus the title of the book from her nickname for the couple Limp D*cks and Saggy T*ts, lol
This book has so many things going for it. A great personal storyline, with common threads mature women can identify with. Great characters, especially Lizzie, Ronan, and Danny, her neighbor. The characters are quirky, always real, and often funny. That is not to say there aren't more serious emotions in the book—there are—but the funny episodes keep the book from being too heavy. At the heart this is Lizzie's story, regaining her life and learning to be an independent woman after years of marriage that sheltered her.
I loved this book, I was worried that Lizzie was going to be left alone by the end, but thankfully Ms. Podger rectified that fear. Grab a copy of this book and a proper cup of tea and begin the journey with Lizzie, just be warned, Depends or Tenas may be needed for the trip.

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  • book_hippo
  • 18-11-20

Don't let the title turn you off-lovely story!

Ok, let's just get this out of the way - the title is unfortunate. In fact, it's so unfortunate, that had a trusted friend not pushed me for a few weeks, I'd have never purchased this one. However, push she did, and boy was I pleasantly surprised!

Narration - flawless

Story - This reads to me like a rom com mashup with women's fiction. I've never before read such a realistic, older heroine (50 yo), and it was so refreshing! We can't all stay 20 years old or maintain perfect bladder control, but we all deserve heroines to relate to and this book delivers in that regard. Now our hero is flawed, and honestly at first he was on my bad list, but as time goes on and you learn more about him, he's deeply flawed, but at the same time a great fit for Lizzie. The progression of their relationship was so natural and realistic. It's not instant-love, it's instant attraction with a slow burn.

Lizzie gets herself in some hilarious situations, but overall this wasn't a laughing out loud book for me. It has those moments for sure, but overall it's about a woman and man learning to love again.

I absolutely loved the side characters (Daniel and Joe), and the authors note at the end really made me appreciate the book even more.

Take a chance on this one.

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  • Diana in SC @AudiobookObsession
  • 03-10-20

I absolutely love Lizzie and her funny life!

This is my new favorite rom-com audiobook ever! I will definitely re-listen to this one. It is a hilarious, British, slow-burn rom-com about a newly divorced lady starting over at age 50 and finding love. It could also be classified as funny women’s fiction, but it definitely has a happy ending. Plus, there is a lot of time spent in Scotland at a gorgeous manor house! The narrator was extraordinary; she enriched the humor with her perfect comic timing and excellent British accents. The narrator’s London accent for Lizzie is priceless.

I absolutely love the kind-hearted Lizzie, her hilarious life, her sense of humor, and her sexy love interest Ronan. Lizzie is a London woman who got married in her teens, so she has had basically no dating experience. Her stockbroker husband ran off with his gay lover two years ago, and Lizzie’s divorce is almost final. She's been a little bitter, but see gets a new attitude and starts to really live again. Lizzie is such a nice, kind-hearted woman. Ronan is a handsome, 45-year old divorcee who owns and invests in businesses. Ronan is such a realistic man with a little emotional baggage, mixed signals, and some vulnerability. He is quite charming and romantic most of the time. With all this, he really reminds me of my husband, in a good way. The minor characters are very memorable as well, especially Maggie and Danny.

Please don’t let the unfortunate title turn you away from this amazing, uplifting rom-com. Every rom-com fan should read the description, listen to the sample, and see if you like it based on that. The title has weirdly negative words and doesn't even refer to Lizzie or her love life; it refers to some elderly nudists she met in passing. I have never laughed so much at a rom-com! There is some swearing and wonderfully outrageous situations. It is mild to moderately steamy. The romance is so lovely, too. The book is written in Lizzie’s first person perspective.

I requested and received a free audiocode from the author via @AudioBookfly, and I voluntarily wrote this honest review.

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  • Rebecca
  • 15-06-20

4.5 Stars

OMG! This book is Hilarious! The only reason I didn’t give it 5 stars was because the beginning was a bit slow.
I seriously cried from laughing so hard. Limp Dicks, Saggy Tits, a gimp, a cat named pat, mud, holes in trees and the ground, & a painted stick will forever give me humor!!😂😂😂 it was a great book! You must read.
Narrative was pretty good as well.